| autumnmarie53109 | |
| autumnmarie53109 has 200 days to go and is now in week 11 | |
 | Age: 30 Country: USA Province/region: City: Walters Partner: Corey Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 04 Sep ,2012 Occupation: Mom/ Wife/ Job Coach |
| Online: 3 days ago. Last updated: 463 days ago. Member since: 976 days | |
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Many people want to know "What Happened?"
I've tried telling the story over and over again but it's just getting to be tiring. So I'm going to tell it here. And all can finally know, what happened.
Saturday May 30th -
Saturday night I started having contractions. I didn't think much of it because they weren't that bad. I just figured Id go to sleep early and see how I felt in the morning.
Sunday May 31st -
Sunday late morning I woke feeling like I was in labor. But my water hadnt broken or anything. I told Corey ( who had just gotten home from fishing with Josh ) that I thought it was time to head off to the hospital. So we got ready and headed out.
Once in labor and delivery they hooked me up to a bunch of monitors to check on me and the baby. I was dialated to a 3.5 and the baby's heartbeat was good ( so we thought ). Then half an hour later they checked me again and I was at a 4.5. I was in labor! The only problem was, Autumn's heartbeat was still the same. It should have been much higher because she'd be getting ready to come out.
They did an ultasound to make sure everything was okay and noticed she wasn't moving. She wasn't practicing her breathing for when she'd come out. But her heart was still beating. That was a good sign.
The decided after about 15minutes of trying to wake her up that I needed to have an emergency C-Section. During the C-Section I couldn't see anything because of the sheet in front of my face. All I could see was Corey off to my left, holding my hand, and watching everything take place. I don't know what was worse. Not being able to see things for myself, or watching his expressions and knowing something wasn't right.
When they took her out, she wasn't crying. Knowing your baby is out. Not being able to see her, and not being able to hear her...I started panicking. The cord had been wrapped around her throat once, but it actually saved her. She swallowed meconium and because of the cord it didnt go down into her lungs. She still wasn't breathing and was blue. Corey could see this. I couldn't. I just saw him start crying and I thought the worse. But then I heard the softest noise. She was trying to cry through her breathing tube. I thought oh thank you! As they walked by me they showed her to me and I seen that she was pink and was satisfied.
Once they brought me back to my room some nurses and doctors came in and told me she was having some problems and would have to be flown to OU. She was having heart and blood pressure problems.
Autumn Marie was born at 4:40pm. I did not get to see her until like 9:30pm that night. The doctor said " We'll let you hold her before the helicopter takes her to OU. We're trying to get her stable enough for the flight first " Around 9:30pm a nurse with a wheelchair came to me and said " We're gonna take you to her " I knew then it was bad. I didnt get to hold her. Just touch her. She already had a bunch of tubes and IVs running through her. They let me see her for about 15minutes. But it didn't feel real. I was still sooo doped up.
Corey stayed with me that night. He didnt want to drive to the city on no sleep. He left the next morning to be with the baby since I couldn't leave.
Tuesday June 2 -
My doctor came in at 5am and told me she'd release me early so I could go up to OU and be with my family. By 9:00am I was staring at my daughter for the first time without having to leave the room. I cried. Not because of the situation. But because she was no longer a photograph. She was real.
3 Hours later she started doing bad. She crashed 3x in a row. It was one of the worst days of my life. Thankfully Corey and I were together to help one another. The last time she crashed the doctors didn't think she'd make it. But that night she proved them wrong. Her stats were steady, her heart beat and blood pressure was steady. It really was like she was starting a new and she'd be fine.
Friday June 5th -
Not any better but not any worse.
Saturday June 6th
Her urine output started becoming low. She was getting swollen again from all the fluids they were pumping in her and she wasn't peeing out. They put her on an oscillator to make her breath more on her own and she ended up getting jaundice so they put her under a flourescent light. We were like shit. She was doing so well. Corey had gone back to work that night and was gonna work Sunday night too.
Sunday June 7th -
Her stats kept dropping. Blood pressure kept dropping. Started getting bruising under her skin. Wasn't peeing well. Nurses told me to call Corey and get him there fast cause it wasn't looking good. He called some people, got some things done, and managed to get off of work and come back to the city to be with us. That night her stats started coming back up and she was becoming more stable than before. So we both went back to the hotel to try and catch some sleep.
Monday June 8th -
That afternoon Autumn was doing well. She was doing well enough on her breathing that they put her back on the old ventilator, the took the flourescent light off of her, and her urine output was so good they took the catheder out of her. She was finally comfortable. We went down to the cafeteria for dinner. We felt relaxed enough to leave her for a few. When we got back upstairs, about 30minutes into us being there her stats started dropping again. Her blood pressure started dropping too. Then her heart rate. They started doing hand compressions on her get her heart rate up but it just wouldn't stay up. She kept crashing. Finally a nurse or doctor came over and said " Shes on all the highest doses of medicine. She just won't keep anything up. We could do the hand compressions as long as youd like to keep her alive, but it won't do any good. Shes gone. You need to think about whether or not you want to hold her now. Im sorry " Her lil heart wasn't strong enough to take everything that was going with her.
I lost it. I completely forgot Corey was next to me until I felt his hands. I dont know how long had passed before I finally said " I wanna hold her " And then I heard Corey let out a cry and I knew it really was over. Our baby was gone.
They were really great about the whole thing. THey gave us a privacy room and let us have our time with her. The gave us a lock of her hair, a blanket she laid with, her footprints ( which we're getting as tattoos ), a castor mold of her feet, and her blood pressure cuff. It was soo tiny. We kept her for about half an hour. Without the IVs and stuff in her, you could really truely see her beauty. She was gorgeous. And really did look just like her daddy. After we handed her back we walked out of OU for the last time. Even though it was only like 5minutes away, I'm still not sure how we drove back to the hotel that night.
So there you have it.
The life and death of an incredible and beautiful lil fighter.
10 Comments on ~ I HAD A PERFECT Pregnancy ~
camila.a - Friday, 20 Nov
I am so sorry for your loss...
HppyMomToBeRS - Friday, 17 Jul
Gosh I am so sorry. I cried ready your story. She was such a beatiful baby and now she is with god.
SarahBeth13 - Tuesday, 14 Jul
I am so very sorry you went through that. It must have been awful and I am sure it continues to be a difficult time for you. I wish you health and peace and I hope you are doing okay. Thank you for sharing your story.
Blessedbeyondbelief - Thursday, 9 Jul
My heart breaks for you! I just had my little Seth on June 14th & buried him on the 15th. He was 16 weeks along. It was very sad. My prayers are with you and your family!
wedward **PINK** - Thursday, 9 Jul
I am so sorry that you had to go through the most horrible thing any mother has to experience. It sounds like she was a beautiful little girl. I too lost my little boy at 30 weeks. Some of the bleakest days of my life. Make sure you take the time to mourn her loss so that you can be a healthy happy mama again. I have gone on to have another healthy beautiful son and am trying again. Good luck to you and feel free to message if you want to talk.
bodobaby - Thursday, 9 Jul
OMG - my heart aches for you and your family! I'm so sorry you've had to go through such heartache. May your little girl RIP! Bless your heart. <<<<< HUG >>>>>
fruitful - Thursday, 9 Jul
Oh my, that is so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you gain support and encouragement ffrom us over in the TTC After Loss forum.
gilly - Saturday, 4 Jul
Thank you for posting your story. I am so sorry for your loss. Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? I hope that you and Corey find peace and comfort in whatever happens.
nicola5 - Wednesday, 1 Jul
such a sad story it really made me cry stay strong your baby is in a beutiful place with all the angels i send all my sympathy to you and your family and good luck for the future
noeysbaby - Saturday, 20 Jun
I am extremely sorry about your loss and really sad about what happened to your baby girl. I can only imagine how devastated you must be. I know you are going through a terrible time and I admire how your strength and courage to try again for another baby. I will keep you and Autumn in my prayers. Lots of hugs
| 17-6-2009 - ~ I HAD A PERFECT Pregnancy ~ |  My mood while writing this blog:~ Quiet ~ |
Many people want to know "What Happened?"
I've tried telling the story over and over again but it's just getting to be tiring. So I'm going to tell it here. And all can finally know, what happened.
Saturday May 30th -
Saturday night I started having contractions. I didn't think much of it because they weren't that bad. I just figured Id go to sleep early and see how I felt in the morning.
Sunday May 31st -
Sunday late morning I woke feeling like I was in labor. But my water hadnt broken or anything. I told Corey ( who had just gotten home from fishing with Josh ) that I thought it was time to head off to the hospital. So we got ready and headed out.
Once in labor and delivery they hooked me up to a bunch of monitors to check on me and the baby. I was dialated to a 3.5 and the baby's heartbeat was good ( so we thought ). Then half an hour later they checked me again and I was at a 4.5. I was in labor! The only problem was, Autumn's heartbeat was still the same. It should have been much higher because she'd be getting ready to come out.
They did an ultasound to make sure everything was okay and noticed she wasn't moving. She wasn't practicing her breathing for when she'd come out. But her heart was still beating. That was a good sign.
The decided after about 15minutes of trying to wake her up that I needed to have an emergency C-Section. During the C-Section I couldn't see anything because of the sheet in front of my face. All I could see was Corey off to my left, holding my hand, and watching everything take place. I don't know what was worse. Not being able to see things for myself, or watching his expressions and knowing something wasn't right.
When they took her out, she wasn't crying. Knowing your baby is out. Not being able to see her, and not being able to hear her...I started panicking. The cord had been wrapped around her throat once, but it actually saved her. She swallowed meconium and because of the cord it didnt go down into her lungs. She still wasn't breathing and was blue. Corey could see this. I couldn't. I just saw him start crying and I thought the worse. But then I heard the softest noise. She was trying to cry through her breathing tube. I thought oh thank you! As they walked by me they showed her to me and I seen that she was pink and was satisfied.
Once they brought me back to my room some nurses and doctors came in and told me she was having some problems and would have to be flown to OU. She was having heart and blood pressure problems.
Autumn Marie was born at 4:40pm. I did not get to see her until like 9:30pm that night. The doctor said " We'll let you hold her before the helicopter takes her to OU. We're trying to get her stable enough for the flight first " Around 9:30pm a nurse with a wheelchair came to me and said " We're gonna take you to her " I knew then it was bad. I didnt get to hold her. Just touch her. She already had a bunch of tubes and IVs running through her. They let me see her for about 15minutes. But it didn't feel real. I was still sooo doped up.
Corey stayed with me that night. He didnt want to drive to the city on no sleep. He left the next morning to be with the baby since I couldn't leave.
Tuesday June 2 -
My doctor came in at 5am and told me she'd release me early so I could go up to OU and be with my family. By 9:00am I was staring at my daughter for the first time without having to leave the room. I cried. Not because of the situation. But because she was no longer a photograph. She was real.
3 Hours later she started doing bad. She crashed 3x in a row. It was one of the worst days of my life. Thankfully Corey and I were together to help one another. The last time she crashed the doctors didn't think she'd make it. But that night she proved them wrong. Her stats were steady, her heart beat and blood pressure was steady. It really was like she was starting a new and she'd be fine.
Friday June 5th -
Not any better but not any worse.
Saturday June 6th
Her urine output started becoming low. She was getting swollen again from all the fluids they were pumping in her and she wasn't peeing out. They put her on an oscillator to make her breath more on her own and she ended up getting jaundice so they put her under a flourescent light. We were like shit. She was doing so well. Corey had gone back to work that night and was gonna work Sunday night too.
Sunday June 7th -
Her stats kept dropping. Blood pressure kept dropping. Started getting bruising under her skin. Wasn't peeing well. Nurses told me to call Corey and get him there fast cause it wasn't looking good. He called some people, got some things done, and managed to get off of work and come back to the city to be with us. That night her stats started coming back up and she was becoming more stable than before. So we both went back to the hotel to try and catch some sleep.
Monday June 8th -
That afternoon Autumn was doing well. She was doing well enough on her breathing that they put her back on the old ventilator, the took the flourescent light off of her, and her urine output was so good they took the catheder out of her. She was finally comfortable. We went down to the cafeteria for dinner. We felt relaxed enough to leave her for a few. When we got back upstairs, about 30minutes into us being there her stats started dropping again. Her blood pressure started dropping too. Then her heart rate. They started doing hand compressions on her get her heart rate up but it just wouldn't stay up. She kept crashing. Finally a nurse or doctor came over and said " Shes on all the highest doses of medicine. She just won't keep anything up. We could do the hand compressions as long as youd like to keep her alive, but it won't do any good. Shes gone. You need to think about whether or not you want to hold her now. Im sorry " Her lil heart wasn't strong enough to take everything that was going with her.
I lost it. I completely forgot Corey was next to me until I felt his hands. I dont know how long had passed before I finally said " I wanna hold her " And then I heard Corey let out a cry and I knew it really was over. Our baby was gone.
They were really great about the whole thing. THey gave us a privacy room and let us have our time with her. The gave us a lock of her hair, a blanket she laid with, her footprints ( which we're getting as tattoos ), a castor mold of her feet, and her blood pressure cuff. It was soo tiny. We kept her for about half an hour. Without the IVs and stuff in her, you could really truely see her beauty. She was gorgeous. And really did look just like her daddy. After we handed her back we walked out of OU for the last time. Even though it was only like 5minutes away, I'm still not sure how we drove back to the hotel that night.
So there you have it.
The life and death of an incredible and beautiful lil fighter.
10 Comments on ~ I HAD A PERFECT Pregnancy ~
camila.a - Friday, 20 Nov
I am so sorry for your loss...
HppyMomToBeRS - Friday, 17 Jul
Gosh I am so sorry. I cried ready your story. She was such a beatiful baby and now she is with god.
SarahBeth13 - Tuesday, 14 Jul
I am so very sorry you went through that. It must have been awful and I am sure it continues to be a difficult time for you. I wish you health and peace and I hope you are doing okay. Thank you for sharing your story.
Blessedbeyondbelief - Thursday, 9 Jul
My heart breaks for you! I just had my little Seth on June 14th & buried him on the 15th. He was 16 weeks along. It was very sad. My prayers are with you and your family!
wedward **PINK** - Thursday, 9 Jul
I am so sorry that you had to go through the most horrible thing any mother has to experience. It sounds like she was a beautiful little girl. I too lost my little boy at 30 weeks. Some of the bleakest days of my life. Make sure you take the time to mourn her loss so that you can be a healthy happy mama again. I have gone on to have another healthy beautiful son and am trying again. Good luck to you and feel free to message if you want to talk.
bodobaby - Thursday, 9 Jul
OMG - my heart aches for you and your family! I'm so sorry you've had to go through such heartache. May your little girl RIP! Bless your heart. <<<<< HUG >>>>>
fruitful - Thursday, 9 Jul
Oh my, that is so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you gain support and encouragement ffrom us over in the TTC After Loss forum.
gilly - Saturday, 4 Jul
Thank you for posting your story. I am so sorry for your loss. Have you taken a pregnancy test yet? I hope that you and Corey find peace and comfort in whatever happens.
nicola5 - Wednesday, 1 Jul
such a sad story it really made me cry stay strong your baby is in a beutiful place with all the angels i send all my sympathy to you and your family and good luck for the future
noeysbaby - Saturday, 20 Jun
I am extremely sorry about your loss and really sad about what happened to your baby girl. I can only imagine how devastated you must be. I know you are going through a terrible time and I admire how your strength and courage to try again for another baby. I will keep you and Autumn in my prayers. Lots of hugs
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