| avatargo | |
| Age: 33 Country: Australia Province/region: City: Partner: Yes Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: | |
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| 10-5-2009 - Is it time yet??? | My mood while writing this blog:over it |
Ok. So.. up until now, I have been cruising along; affected by sleep deprivation, yes, uncomfortable at times, yes, but coping ok. I was resigned to the fact that my Ob has set a date for the c-section (37w 5d) and that my tiny boys are better off staying in until then.
So what happened to change things? Saturday happened. I don't know what it was about Saturday, but it was definitely Saturday. Since then, I've been sore, grumpy, extremely uncomfortable and totally incapable of visualising my survival over the next two and a half weeks.
Now... let me explain my expectations of these babies' arrival, which is based on my past experiences - the birth of my first two children (single babies). I have never gone into labour. My waters have never broken. My cervix has never thinned excessively or dilated. In fact, even after my first baby was induced at 40 weeks, my cervix STILL failed to dilate and she was delivered by emergency c-section when, after 23 hours of labour, I had dilated to 1.5cm. (I was 1cm when I walked in the door.) To put it bluntly, my cervix is a steel trap and these boys are not coming out voluntarily. I expect that it will only be through surgical intervention that they will leave their current living arrangements. ("Put your hands up and move slowly towards the light.")
So. C-section scheduled for 27th May. My Ob has advised that if we bring this forward by, say, one week, there is a 50% chance that one or both boys will require special care. If this is the case, they would not be able to come home with me.
Here is my fear. I live about 20 miles from the hospital. Once I have had a c-section, I will not be insured to drive until my Ob has provided medical clearance, which he will not do prior to 4 weeks post surgery. My husband is a self-employed contractor; if he does not work, we do not get paid. We have two small children who require care. Both of my parents work full time. So here it is: if I have to leave one or both of these babies at the hospital because they require longer term assistance (oxygen, tube feeds etc etc), it would be unmanagable.
And yet... here I am considering requesting earlier delivery. What am I thinking?
I'm thinking... I need to get over myself. Soldier on.. and do what it takes until I reach the target delivery date.
But I don't have to do it quietly.