23-1-2011 - \time to lose the weight...

My mood while writing this blog: deep in thought

When I got pregnant with my daughter I was using my medication for thyroid disease as weight control. I had/have Graves Disease (hyperthyroidism). I was supposed to be taking medication to lower my metabolism. Well everytime I noticed I was gaining a few pounds I would stop taking the medication....bad idea! Upon getting pregnant with her I was put on PTU, well I was supposed to get liver function tests done every 4 weeks ( I didn't know, the doctor never informed me). After taking the medication for 3 months and never missing a day I went into liver failure. My body was not breaking down the PTU and it ended up just building up in my liver. So I landed in the trama unit of a local hospital from there I was transfered to a transplant hospital. I denied the transplant because my daughter was given a 10% chance of survival. The doctors figured if they took out my thyroid, I would have no need for the PTU thus resolving the liver problem. I had my thyroid removed at 20 weeks into my pregnancy and my liver recovered (not fully) but well enough to continue my pregnancy. Autumn is almost 3!

Well, prior to having Autumn I had 6 miscarriages. The doctors told me it was indeed due to the severity of my thyroid issues (which I can admit I was not taking seriously) because no one including the doctors really made an issue of it. After Autumn, I had figured and was completely satisified with the fact she was going to be my only child. Every hear the addage "We plan God laughs"? Yep...that was me. Two weeks after surrendering all of Autumns baby gear to a family in need (my little girl was growing up and just about to turn 2) I found out I was pregnant with my son, Ryan.

Here is my problem: 2 pregnancies 2008/2010...weight gain. No thyroid, no metabolism....no more eating whatever I want whenever I want. ME <~~~ still eating whatever I want whenever I want...more weight gain. I am totally unhappy. The snow and extreme cold has kept us inside in hibernation mode. I want to join weight watchers (had amazing success in 2003) but it is just not in the budget. I need to get out of this fat suit...this is NOT me! My joints hurt, I'm not getting enough sleep and I am sad alot of the time. I have 2 great kids and I want to be there for them and enjoy everything they do. Anyone have some sure fire weight loss tips and motivation ideas? I am ashamed of myself ...there are literally NO absolutly NOT ONE picture of me with my kids. I want a picture with me and my kids before they are too grown up!!! The excuse "I Just Had A Baby" just ain't cuttin it anymore...lol!