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20-4-2008 - First Time & Confuse!

My mood while writing this blog: Daze

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Hello everyone!

My name is Nora and I am 19 years old. It's interesting...this whole situation with me being pregnant. I really do not know my actual month, only assume. I don't even remember the last time I had my period. The birth control messed up my system and I had a irreugular period, to the point I just gave up marking my time of the month. But around early March, I felt really funny and my nipples was hurting me and the whole breast area was irritating me also. I didn't know what was going on with me, and I started freaking out. I told my friends about it and they looked it up and told me it was just stress and to take pain killers and it will go away. I did that, but the pain didn't go away. Than on March 10th, my best friend and my bf went to Daytona Beach, FL for our spring break. I dranked some beers, and had a lot of fun like most young college students does...parties, drinking, etc.

Came home, it got worse. I started going to the bathroom a lot and eatting a lot. One night I woke up around 4 something in the morning and was craving for streak and rice. I went downstairs and cooked it and my parents thought it was weird to be up early and making myself something to eat! And they yelled at me to go to bed and to not make a lot of noise with the pots and pans banging. I couldn't understand what was wrong with me or why I was acting different! So my other best friend told me to take a pregnancy test. So I did and only saw one line so I was happy that I wasn't. But as I was washing my hands and drying it off, I look at the pregnancy test again...and thought my eyes was playing tricks on me. I saw another line...it was REALLY light. I read the pregnancy manual and it said something about one dark and one light line means pregnant. I almost fainted and freaked even more. I called my bf first but he didn't answer and than I called my other 6 best friends and none picked up either since it was still early in the morning! Than I went online and IMed my best friend Val and told her and she freaked and called me an idiot for getting pregnant at age 19.

I'm pretty happy to get it over with and see how many months I am! I don't even know if they can detect how many months I am since I don't know myself. Only if I could find that paper of the last day I had my period. IF ONLY!!! It's somewhere in my room, a small calendar. I went to get help and asking a lot of questions since I had so many to ask. I confessed to the nurse that I really do not know how many months I am or when I had the last period, but she told me to try to remember and it was annoying because I really didn't remember, so I just calculated instead. I came up with the answer Feb. so she told me I was two months so I went with it. I still haven't seen a real doctor or to get an U/S yet. I am actually a bit big for two months. My parents think I am more than 3 or 4 months pregnant because of my stomach shows. You can really tell I am pregnant when people don't show til they are like 5 months. But like I said again up there, I really don't know the actual month of the last period I had. So everything is a bit screwed up and that is why I am needing a doctor fast! I am seeing one on May 1.

My parents are disappointed at me since I am only 19 and in college. They wanted me to get married and have a good job before getting pregnant. I am disappointed myself that I really hurt them, but I can't go back and change what I did. So I have to move out of my parents house and get my own place with my boyfriend and some of my best friends so we all can afford to live here (It's very expensive to live in Arlington, VA). Now parents are now actually supporting me and wanting to help me name the baby even though I told them I already came up with the first. Instead, I told them they can pick the middle names. I told my other families and they are very happy for me.

My bf's parents and mine want us to get married and my bf wants to get married too, but I am afraid. I don't know if I am ready for marriage....and I told his parents that I wasn't ready. But they are forcing me because they want the baby to have their last name. I don't want to get married! I want to live with my bf and I do really love him, but I am just not ready for marriage! I don't know what to do! My friends told me its not a good idea to get married at such a young age because him and I can get a divorce within 10 years or so, and I don't want that happening, but it's risk. I want to be with him and live with him and experience living together for now, but not marriage yet. I don't know what to say to him or his parents or mine. I don't want them to get mad at me. I don't want to hurt any of them, but I don't know what words to actually say to them. Any advice? I'm needing of help!

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5 Comments on First Time & Confuse!


-newnaam - Sunday, 22 Jun
wat happen? lol i tried to read the blog i dunt see it???

sadielady - Monday, 9 Jun
I got pregnant when I was 17 after only being with my bf for a few months. we got married about a year and a half after baby was born. and now were expecting number two. dont get married yet! i wish i had waited longer. i love my husband, hes my best friend, but hes not who i belong with. were married because hes my kids dad. and we love eachother because of that. i dont know,,,, good luck with everything!

-newnaam - Monday, 21 Apr
Thank you for your advice. I just hope he understand how I really feel about this whole situation about his family into our business. I love him and I want to be able to get to know him when living together bc I heard stories that living together is not always the same when in a different house.

mizzhoney - Monday, 21 Apr
I was 19 when I got pregnant with my now 15 year old daughter. Same thing you are going through now. I gave in to the pressure of marrying my boyfriend at the time. It was a mistake. I knew that I loved him but I didn't love him the way a woman should love the man she marries. Anyway it was a bad marriage. We were both very unhappy for years. All I can tell you is that you have to make it your decision. Your baby can have the father's last name without you having to get married. Of course you'll have to marry him to get the last name. Good luck with whatever you decide and congrats on the little one. Oh yeah...they will be able to tell approx. how far along you are when they do the U/S.

riknlee - Sunday, 20 Apr
Hi, you are still so young and I dont blame you for not knowing what you want. I dont know what to tell you and I dont know you so I couldnt really advise but if you were my daughter I would suggest that you take your time and get to know him before getting married. It is a huge step and being pregnant and raising a baby can put a huge strain on a relationship - even a happy stable one so one that is just beginning is likely to suffer some stress. I fell pregnant with my daughter 6 months after meeting my bf. I was 25 when I had her so a bit older than you but once the love wore off, I was sort of stuck with him. However I did think it was my destiny and had 2 more children with him and married him. But 1 year after my youngest was born, I seperated from him. It really was a cross between thinking that was my destiny, and moments of happiness. I hope no one pressures you into anything. Divorce is too easy to do unfortunately, but I dont think you should be unhappy if you dont have to. Take care and keep in touch. Good luck with everything