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|13-8-2009 - .
||My mood while writing this blog:|
I don't want to be upset about it because this is OUR child that we made he is our responsibility I'm trying so hard to be positive. I'm trying not to complain about it because I know people TTC for years with no success.
This is how it began..
I started to suspect I was pregnant 2 days before I was due I had this killer headache that wouldn't go away for 2 days. I told hubby and he said it's probably just AF so I put it down to that, also with the headache came a little sickness but nothing major. So no AF on due day I thought well my cycle is probably still messed up this would've been my second AF since I had Rayan. So the next day and still nothing.. I knew deep deep deeeeep down I was pregnant but was in denial. I really wanted to test but didn't know how to tell hubby. So the next day I was constantly going to the toilet to see if AF was here and I said to hubby can you please buy me a test for tomorrow morning I said I don't think I am I just want peace of mind. I didn't want to scare him you see! The next day still no AF and he took forever to get the test I was trying to keep my first morning wee in but I couldn't so I put is in something. He brought the test and I went and took it alone, I stood there watching it as the negative line showed up and no positive line I thought phew! So I washed my hands and picked up the test to go and show hubby I walked out and his friend was there so I put the test in my bag and look at hubby he gave me that well??? face. I whispered into his ear as a joke I'm pregnant congratulations daddy of two. He didn't believe me he shook his head and laughed we couldn't talk about it because his friend was there. So we all went to my mils house for lunch everything was normal we got into the car after and he was like your not really pregnant are you?? I said here look at the test I pulled it out and to my surprise it was positive!!!!! I was thinking in my head OH MY GOD!!! I sat there staring at it in shock thinking maybe it's just the lighting because it's pretty faint just like the one I did with Rayan was. Hubby was like pass it then so I gave it to him and he was silent for a while and said no it's negative. Bless him he just didn't want to believe it I said if there's a line there then it's positive no matter how faint it is. We drove home pretty much in silence. We got in and he said well I can't say I'm happy about it. I don't know what happened to me I just started laughing and he was like are you happy about this? I said no but if I don't laugh I will cry. He hugged me and said well this is what God wanted. He started looking on the bright side pretty quick he was saying well it's better to have 2 at once and if it's a boy he can use all Rayan's clothes as hardly any of them fit Rayan for very long.
So that's it ladies I am going to test again in a few days and then go and see my Dr when I'm 6 weeks.
So here I am back at the beginning of the journey at 4 weeks 3 days that's exactly when I found out I was pregnant with Rayan. Back I go to the week 4 forum omg!! I don't want to go back there!! :( I'm so scared I really hope I can manage, I’m not scared of having two babies I'm more scared about being heavily pregnant and not being able to look after Rayan properly. I will do my best I know God will give me the strength to. Lets just hope this one is not a 10 pounder lol! I was told in hospital if I have a boy next he will be bigger then Rayan and if I have a girl she will be the same size as Rayan. I'm really hoping for a girl this time at least then my parents and in-laws wont be so disappointed in me.
I could really do with some support now I have no one to talk to because I just don't want to tell anyone right now I don't have the patience to hear all their crap. We were so careful there was not much else we could do. This is God's plan for us. I would really like to hear some positive words I'm worried sick! And people that are on facebook please don't mention it on there, thanks :)
39 Comments on .hippiemommy09
- Tuesday, 18 Aug your preggers again??? well congrats!!! notnottrying
- Monday, 17 Aug OH MY GOODNESS!! Wow, I cant even believe it! Well, congratulations... I know you must be freaking out right now, but you are strong and you will be fine :) It might be nice to have two so close in age, they will be like best friends. Take good care of yourself and try and make the best of things, my thoughts are totally with you! ryry ~pink~
- Monday, 17 Aug you are so brave!!!! BethSilva
- Monday, 17 Aug Hey mama!! FIrst time on in a few days so I'm just now seeing this! First off I want to say congratulations!!!!! Second... I know it's a shock, but it must have been Gods plan. You figure you will be due around the time that Rayan is 1 and starting to walk, so at least you won't have to chase after him too much. I hope this time around you don't get nausiea. As you know my babies are going to be 17 months apart and it does freak me out at times, but other times I just think in my head, "this too shall pass" Just think about how close they will be weather God has gived Rayan a sister or brother. :) I can't wait to see my son and daughter playing together, and spending the rest of their lives so close to each other!! On another note I'm so confused how your Dr. or Nurses are able to tell that you will have a bigger boy or the same size girl this time around?? Thats weird to me! I remember talking to you when you were like 7 weeks pg with Rayan then throughout the rest of your pregnancy, you always ate yummy fruit salads, I would say keep that up. But watch what you eat just a little closer. That's what I did this time around. With Rylee I gained a total of 44 lbs and so far with this one I have gained 20!!! and I only have 3 weeks to go. I must say I'm proud, even though 20 was my goal for the whole pregnancy. oh well! Stay as active as possible I'm sure you will your always hiking, sight seeing, and such :) Anyway girly as you know I'm here for you! I hope your c-section sight heals up soon. and best of luck with the parents and in-laws. That was super tough for me, my mom was NOT happy at all. She has come around since then but it's still hard to forgive the harsh words that were said. Keep me updated...xoxoBethSilva AmyBradford922
- Monday, 17 Aug WoW! Congrats. I know you are scared but everything will work out. Kids are such a blessing!! Everyone I talk to says to have your kids close together is better than having them far apart (but what do they know! lol) MY hubs and I are trying to wait at least 4 years but only God knows when it will be right for us to have another one! He thinks your ready now! That is wonderful! If you ever need anyone to talk to, I"m a great listener! Cangrats again! jen
- Sunday, 16 Aug Everything happens for a reason, and a baby is always a blessing!!! Congrats to you and your expanding family!!!! Lots of love and baby dust being sent your way mama!! BlessedLifewithYou
- Sunday, 16 Aug CONGRATS HUNNY! i know its probably TERRIFIYING but u will be okay. Your kiddos will be close in age and you will have tons of love and support. just hang in there. when is your dr appointment to see how far along you are?? we actually wish we could have another baby soon but we arent financially ready for it. RainbowRach
- Saturday, 15 Aug woah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you must be full of emotions right now. Ok, so its quite soon after Rayan arrived, that I cant deny. However, its just happened quicker than you were planning, it doesnt mean that it wont work out perfectly for you. It will be lovely for your beautiful children to grow up together. It will all work out babe, I am sure of it. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Lorijs1
- Friday, 14 Aug Hi honey Congrats!!! I know this may seem so confusing but you will get through it. This is a miracle and a blessing!!!! just think you will have your hands full so you may have an easier pregnancy because you wont be able to obsess so much about it. the time will fly by. Dont forget us going back to week 4 lol.. take care and keep us posted! you are in my prayers. :) Stevens0204
- Friday, 14 Aug Congrats!!! So its a little soooner than u wanted but don't worry things will be great!!!! Your kids will be sooo close.... If they play sports u can go and watch both of them at the same time!!! Potty training will be much easier with the 2nd child because he/she will want to be like his/her big brother, clothes can be passed down... OMG there are sooo many great reasons to be happy!!!! Congrats!!! I would do it right now if I could (hubby at this time doesn't want another) and My daughter is 3 months sunday!!! Good luck keep us posted!!!! leelers
- Friday, 14 Aug Congrats mama! You'll figure everything out, and I'm sure the in laws will just love holding the new baby too! :) tifftiff
- Friday, 14 Aug Wow, congrat to you sexy mama! I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm so excited that Rayan will have a younger sibling soon. Take care baby! Baby Bliss
- Friday, 14 Aug OMG hun! I can most definitely understand your thought, feeling and emotions. While it is rather soon, you are definitely not the first and I think secretely if I could have another baby I would but I just know I cannot afford it, plus I feel I'm still young and I have to finish school and like you I would worry about what my family and co worker would think, but honestly there is nothing wrong with it, its just a shoker. I believe you will be fine and god will not give you what you cannot handle. CONGRATULATIONS> BE PROUD BECAUSE YOU will look back and think it was the best thing ever!! sanda03
- Friday, 14 Aug I can understand your feelings about being pregnant again.My baby was 4 months when i found that i am pregnant again.i cried and cried but now one year later it is very happy time for me.after two babies girls god give me one beautiful and healthy baby boy and i have 3 kids and no family to help me.Some days will be very hard but you can do that.Congratulations. andriette and christians mummy liz
- Friday, 14 Aug Hi there,u waited how long to look at the test again?Couldt it maybe be becoz u tested,it was negative and u put it in ur bag,took it out lets say an hour later and it showed positive.Ive been told that u have to rely on the 1st 10 minutes and everything after that could just be evaporation lines? teamnewbs
- Friday, 14 Aug OMG congrats. i dont envy you for going back to week 4 forum. but then again i am soooo missing being pregnant. it will be great just think how close your children will be. you will be just fine! about the parents, just think they are your kids not theres. they'll have twice the fun when seeing them. good luck honey!!! happyinvention
- Thursday, 13 Aug things will be ok!!! several years from now you will be happy about your choices, and your children will be happy you had them so close together. it's going to be hard! but you will make through:) congrats!!!! cailinsmama
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congratulations! I totally agree with you...this is God's plan. He doesn't give you any more than you can handle. You and your hubby will do great, and your babies will be best friends! Good Luck! Nikki1606
- Thursday, 13 Aug Aww hun I can only imagine how you feel right now! Happy but yet scared and a little sad at the same time.. Youre right though, it was obviously Gods plan for you guys and he will definitely take you through it! Good luck :) xoxo Rebecca
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congratulations to you, my 2nd baby was born May 6th I am already having baby fever again. My hubby says that she was our last (we have a boy and a girl) but Im not so sure Im done. Im secretly kinda jelous of you :) I think all thing happen for a reason and I think that it will be hard at first but then will be great to have them so close later. Keep your chin up! nysamantha20
- Thursday, 13 Aug Maybe you just neeed to take another test! If not, everything is going to be fine it def is in Gods plan since you were so careful!! ADDISYNS~MUM
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congrats!!! honestly i think if we could afford it right now i wouldnt mind having another baby... youll be find... and it may be a shocker right now... youll get so excited im sure doem the road... you have all of our support here and on the 4 week page!!! your little boy will be so happy to habe a brother or sister that will be so close to him in age! keep us updated!!! and congreas again camilab
- Thursday, 13 Aug aww Hun! dont worry I really hope everything turns out great! I can imagine how you feel, but stay positive!! I know it will be hard for both but a baby is a blessing and if God decided to send you one, just be happy about it! dont mind what other people will think! I really wish you the best my friend!! lots of kisses! and you know you can talk to me when ever you want! ~mama J~
- Thursday, 13 Aug Oh man my girl. Just remember everything happens for a reason. YOu will make it and realize it will be perfect.... congrats mamajo ♥
- Thursday, 13 Aug OMG! i went thru that too... only i my child was 9 months old. i almost died! but it is a blessing!!! its gonna be hard, i wont lie to you... sometimes i wanna kill myself! lol... but u have a partner and family that can help you through! sam-4-bob
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congratulations:) And dont worry about other peoples opinions , they dont matter in the slightest!! Aslong as you and hubby are fine with it thats all that matters , even if it does take a while to adjust too it. Best of luck and may I add Im slightly jealous lol xxxxxxxxxx steph mom of 3 beauties x
- Thursday, 13 Aug Oh sweetie, I hope that your ok, You are not alone you have us guys on here and no-one should judge you, You have done nothing wrong! It can soo easily happen infact it happened twice to my sister so you can imaginge how she felt can't you and i know she did everything to prevent it as she only just had her baby and didn't think she could manage and what she went through she wouldn't of wanted to put herself through that if you know what i mean so it wasn't intentional just like you but its life and sometimes things are sent to try us, I think you are fab and you will do great so CONGRATULATIONS! I know you will be just fine i know its not how you would of planned it but life has another plan in mind for you and god wouldn't have set you this task if he thought you couldn't do it love to you and your family steph xxx proudmommyof3♥
- Thursday, 13 Aug I'm about to test this afternoon as I am a week late for AF, I'm certainly not "ready" for #4 but I will feel blessed no matter what in the long run! Anyway I want to say Congrats and that I'm sure everything will be just great for you and your family! Take good care :) *mommy*ashley*of*2*little*ones
- Thursday, 13 Aug OMG that is crazy !! but you know it will be so worth it at the end, both of them will be so close in age and have so much fun!!! heathernunez
- Thursday, 13 Aug You Will Be Fine Girl. I Just Had My 6th And Final C-Section. My First 2 Were 14 Months And A Few Days Apart. Congrats And Good Luck!!! skittles0607
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congrats!!!! Just stay positive and calm. This was meant to be. God only does what he knows we can handle.. Good luck.. Let us know how things go!! mll28
- Thursday, 13 Aug OMG Congrats!! When I read the blog title and then the name I was in shock!! Guess this baby is just meant to be on this earth.Congrats again :) AidensMomma09
- Thursday, 13 Aug oh your silly for being scared to tell your in laws and parents. Who cares what they think, if you and your hubby are happy about it than thats all that matters =] my grandma had twins than a month later she had another. Im sure you will do fine and your right God will watch over you, he knows what hes doing! Good luck and we are all here for you and excited for you. Well at least i am! =] tabby-may09
- Thursday, 13 Aug o wow! im so scared that will happen to me! if u dont mind me asking..how come ur parents and in laws would be so upset? *Harleighs*Mommy*
- Thursday, 13 Aug WOW! You are experiencing exactly what I am dreading. I do not take BC so we are having to be careful too, but sometimes Hubby doesnt wanna be careful. You will handle it just fine though. I am happy for you and will keep you in my prayers. Best Wishes! mmyof3angels
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congrats, and dont worry! Everything will work out and it will be GREAT!! :) Mandy Irish Mommy
- Thursday, 13 Aug OMG girlie,, congrats...it will work out...havin 2 babies so close together will be lovely..and u already hav all the stuff.i cant wait to ttc again but i need to get to a better weight first. my hubby wants another baby already too.nice to have em together. the last night i had cramps... so im waiting for my af to come!!!dont mind what your family says!! its your life!! and your a brillent mother so two babies will be no prob and by the time your baby is born rayan will prob be walking by then!! starburst7987
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congrats! I know its hard because it happened so soon. But its a blessing. I just found out yesterday I was preggers! We can be pregger buddies lol terry
- Thursday, 13 Aug Congrats...You might be worried now...but you'll see how happy you get when they're growing up together. It might be a lot of work in the beginning, but they will have an inseperable bond! God does not give you anything you cant handle. CONGRATS AGAIN!!!!