08-4-2008 - What's wrong with me?

My mood while writing this blog: confused

I wallow in shame as I try to gather my thoughts. I feel as though I should be over joyed with the idea of being pregnant again.

The truth is, I am having a difficult time finding happiness in this great miracle. I know I want this baby. I just can't explain why there are brief moments when I forget I am even pregnant.

I don't think I have had these crazy feelings before. I feel guilty and ungrateful. I hate that my husband can't feel all the things I do at this particular moment in time.

I really pray this is all just hormones ( must be short for horrible moans). I want to be happy, maybe I am afraid of the the unknown-

Who knows. Maybe I am just plain crazy