28-5-2008 - *Praying for the mail I want so badly to come today* (May 28, 2008)

My mood while writing this blog: I don\'t know

Dear Mr. Mailman, I don’t like you right now… not until you bring me that letter/pictures I am waiting so desperately for.

Yeah, late last night I was in tears for a while. I just could not get over the fact that the little man I’ve sent so much time with now has a family of his own. Not only that, but he is going on with his life… a whole week and a day old now. I wish I could see his family, his daily routine, his life.

Right now, as I sit waiting…. WAITING… for my letter/pictures to come, it is as if he just disappeared off the face of the earth. I know nothing that he is doing. Nothing that he is seeing. Nothing about my little man or his family. Blah.

I don’t remember what made me think of that last night, but I really was upset. /o: Earlier in the day there was a TV show and there were German Sheppard on it… I was excited thinking about Ryllie having a doggy at home… the same kind of dog I had when I grew up. Maybe that’s hat had me thinking about how he is. I wish I could see how Guss (the dog) does with Ryllie.

I’m still waking up early every morning—mainly to check my breast pads since they are STILL leaking like crazy—and I wonder if it’s around the time Ryllie is up. It’s weird, but my birthfather and myself had a weird—but TRUE—connection like that! (One story is that daddy was out for the night, I was in a perfect sleep and all of a sudden woke up BAWLING… NOTHING could get me to stop. NOTHING. My mother couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Then she got a call from the hospital, my father was in a HORRIBLE car accident… it happened almost to the MINUTE that I started to cry too!) I obviously don’t remember that story, but everyone in my family does. In high school I would get a random upset feeling and wonder if it was really my dad that was upset. Weird, again I know…

Ohh, my boss sent me an email today about when the doctor said I would be good to come back to work and all. I told her the doctor didn’t actually tell me anything but the paper he gave the nurse to give me said 4-6 weeks because of my stitches from tearing. She told me not to come back too soon and that they would try to give me easier work to do in my days back… ALSO, the other workers—whom are my close friends—have started an email between the 5 of us for covering as many of my shifts as they can! I LOVE THEM! I was supposed to go back 6/3 and work almost every day for like 2 weeks BUT now I go back 6/6-6/8 and then off until 6/13 or so. They love me! HEHE.