| bjenna1 | |
 | Age: 35 Country: Canada Province/region: Alberta City: Partner: Neal Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Please select Occupation: Exec Assist. Mother and Wife. |
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7 Comments on I faught the porn and the porn won!
proudarmywife15 - Monday, 21 Sep
I had an issue with porn with my husband too. I had friends over one night and we were looking up songs and stuff on the computer... well when I started typing the name of a website, it started filling in a porn site as a suggestion. So I went back and looked at the history, and there was tons of porn on there! Some of it was pretty graphic and disgusting. And when I looked at the timing of it, it was always when I had just walked out of the house. And this was before I was even pregnant. I was so hurt that he would feel like he needed to do that. I had already been crying to him about how I felt unattractive b/c he had stopped sleeping with me for a few weeks at a time. I would lay there in bed and cry and he would just get mad at me. So I had to really show him what I had found and tell him that wasn't going to happen any more. He started arguing saying he wasn't going to stop and it was normal and all that... but after a while he began to realize our relationship wouldn't be ok with that coming between us. I told him that to me that was cheating and I wouldn't be treated like that. We worked out our issues and he stopped looking at it as far as I know. But I would imagine if he does, it's not often b/c our sex life is normal now. He needs to respect you and your feelings!
Wendie2010 - Wednesday, 16 Sep
I am so sorry you have to hurt like this ) : I know masturbation is normal and even that kinda bugs me a little here and there even though I do it too. lol But the feeling of porn would be a feeling of cheating or make me feel like I am not good enough or sexy enough to think of. I think you are totally justified to be upsetl, hurt, mad, whatever feelings you feel! He is disrespecting you and I agree that it's a "form" of cheating! Not ok!
babytuck - Tuesday, 15 Sep
well i had a issue like that w/ my x hubby too/ i had talk to a woman that solved marrage problems and she told me to let him catch me doing the same thing. and then it got to where we done it together. but that hellped for a while, but the hurt was still there. i am sorry.
4andNOmore - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I know how you feel I had the same problem with my ex husband, but he woudn't admitt he had a problem with it. I guess he got tired of hearing me complain and he left. He choose the porn over me, but he loss. Has your hubby thought about getting help?
BunnyMama - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I had the same problem with my bf. I know EXACTLY how u feel. The hurt is overwhelming at times but we just keep on going. I have caught him watching porn countless times and he hasn't touched me in forever either. I masterbate as well so i don't have a prob with him doing it but....i don't want to SEE him doing it while watching porn. We have gotten into many fights about this and he finally got the point and started doing that shit when i wasn't around. idk any advise to give you...my bf got the point one night when he was doing it and i just said "thats disgusting" got in the car and drove off, slept in the car and then when i came home the next morning i told him i was moving out because he just didn't care about how i felt and i deserved better. I doubt that would work for u because you haev achild involved but....hope it gets better.
reila - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I think the deeper issue is not the porn, but the trust. He has broken your trust and that is understandably hurtful.I dunno if this make you feel any slightly better, but I look at porn. I don't care if the guy is cute or whatever. I can't be just plain sex, its always something that revolves around a fetish I like or something. Believe me when I say that when I watch porn I don't think of myself with another man. I always imagine the sex is actually me and my man. What you need to talk to him about it isn't so much the porn thats devastating you, though you are upset he had look at it. Its the fact he went behind your back and broken your trust with him. You also need to talk to him what he finds gratisfying about porn and ask him to be honest. This talk of course should not be asked in a hostile way or he may not be open about it. Asking him what he finds satisfying about porn in general will give you some idea what kind of fantasies he may have about you and him. I do know how it feels to be pregnant and your man looking at porn. Its a very awful feeling and made me feel very insecure with my body. I think a nice long talk is definitely needed and pray everything gets better hun
mommafrazier - Tuesday, 15 Sep
Wow! I am sorry =( I have never had to deal with anything like this nor would I have a clue of what to do or how to act. I completely understand your feelings. My feelings would be crushed!!! I am sorry that I have no advice, but I only hope it gets better for you! Good Luck!
| 15-9-2009 - I faught the porn and the porn won! |  My mood while writing this blog:numb |
This is very personal....
Where do I begin? I woke up this morning to my husband looking at porn and masterbating.... He is a self proclaimed "sex" addict, meaning this is his excuss to look at porn... This has been an onging isuue in our relationship for 4 years. He hasnt touched me once since we got pregnant... which I understand is normal in some men. I am also VERY ok with the fact that masterbation is normal.. hell I do it.... Im not ok however with looking at porn, it is cheating in my mind. Our computer is in our soon to be daughters bedroom. I am absolutly appalled at the moment. I will not even speak to him. I have cried over this Porn issue, I have begged, and last time I said if I caught him again I would leave. He always says forgive me, Im sorry. BUT.... Im addicted to porn. Like this is justification. Am I just supposed to accept this behaviour? I have told him Out of sight Out of mind... DONT LET ME FIND OUT!!! and I open my bedroom door and well guess what I see? Can it be that he disrespects me that much, that my feelings dont matter, or that his PORN addiction is so great that he'd rather take the chance and upset me then to just be a closet addict... I dont know what to do... or how to feel...
7 Comments on I faught the porn and the porn won!
proudarmywife15 - Monday, 21 Sep
I had an issue with porn with my husband too. I had friends over one night and we were looking up songs and stuff on the computer... well when I started typing the name of a website, it started filling in a porn site as a suggestion. So I went back and looked at the history, and there was tons of porn on there! Some of it was pretty graphic and disgusting. And when I looked at the timing of it, it was always when I had just walked out of the house. And this was before I was even pregnant. I was so hurt that he would feel like he needed to do that. I had already been crying to him about how I felt unattractive b/c he had stopped sleeping with me for a few weeks at a time. I would lay there in bed and cry and he would just get mad at me. So I had to really show him what I had found and tell him that wasn't going to happen any more. He started arguing saying he wasn't going to stop and it was normal and all that... but after a while he began to realize our relationship wouldn't be ok with that coming between us. I told him that to me that was cheating and I wouldn't be treated like that. We worked out our issues and he stopped looking at it as far as I know. But I would imagine if he does, it's not often b/c our sex life is normal now. He needs to respect you and your feelings!
Wendie2010 - Wednesday, 16 Sep
I am so sorry you have to hurt like this ) : I know masturbation is normal and even that kinda bugs me a little here and there even though I do it too. lol But the feeling of porn would be a feeling of cheating or make me feel like I am not good enough or sexy enough to think of. I think you are totally justified to be upsetl, hurt, mad, whatever feelings you feel! He is disrespecting you and I agree that it's a "form" of cheating! Not ok!
babytuck - Tuesday, 15 Sep
well i had a issue like that w/ my x hubby too/ i had talk to a woman that solved marrage problems and she told me to let him catch me doing the same thing. and then it got to where we done it together. but that hellped for a while, but the hurt was still there. i am sorry.
4andNOmore - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I know how you feel I had the same problem with my ex husband, but he woudn't admitt he had a problem with it. I guess he got tired of hearing me complain and he left. He choose the porn over me, but he loss. Has your hubby thought about getting help?
BunnyMama - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I had the same problem with my bf. I know EXACTLY how u feel. The hurt is overwhelming at times but we just keep on going. I have caught him watching porn countless times and he hasn't touched me in forever either. I masterbate as well so i don't have a prob with him doing it but....i don't want to SEE him doing it while watching porn. We have gotten into many fights about this and he finally got the point and started doing that shit when i wasn't around. idk any advise to give you...my bf got the point one night when he was doing it and i just said "thats disgusting" got in the car and drove off, slept in the car and then when i came home the next morning i told him i was moving out because he just didn't care about how i felt and i deserved better. I doubt that would work for u because you haev achild involved but....hope it gets better.
reila - Tuesday, 15 Sep
I think the deeper issue is not the porn, but the trust. He has broken your trust and that is understandably hurtful.I dunno if this make you feel any slightly better, but I look at porn. I don't care if the guy is cute or whatever. I can't be just plain sex, its always something that revolves around a fetish I like or something. Believe me when I say that when I watch porn I don't think of myself with another man. I always imagine the sex is actually me and my man. What you need to talk to him about it isn't so much the porn thats devastating you, though you are upset he had look at it. Its the fact he went behind your back and broken your trust with him. You also need to talk to him what he finds gratisfying about porn and ask him to be honest. This talk of course should not be asked in a hostile way or he may not be open about it. Asking him what he finds satisfying about porn in general will give you some idea what kind of fantasies he may have about you and him. I do know how it feels to be pregnant and your man looking at porn. Its a very awful feeling and made me feel very insecure with my body. I think a nice long talk is definitely needed and pray everything gets better hun
mommafrazier - Tuesday, 15 Sep
Wow! I am sorry =( I have never had to deal with anything like this nor would I have a clue of what to do or how to act. I completely understand your feelings. My feelings would be crushed!!! I am sorry that I have no advice, but I only hope it gets better for you! Good Luck!
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15-9-2009 - I faught the porn and the porn won!
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13-1-2010 - We did it... she\'s here!
10-11-2009 - How much more can I take...
18-10-2009 - Nursery Room
27-9-2009 - 23.5 weeks pictures/ Opinions on comments of weight!
15-9-2009 - I faught the porn and the porn won!
04-9-2009 - 20 Week Appt
03-8-2009 - Genetic Testing Day
06-7-2009 - 12 Weeks
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Charlea`s-RoomTheme: Sweet Kayla
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