25-6-2008 - DISAPPOINTED

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

So last night I coulb barely sleep I kept having dreams that I had tested and got a clear BFP! I was so excited and the dream was so realistic that I thought it had happened. So I wake up for work this morning (late) with a smile on my face knowing this time is gonna be dofferent and remember that I have ONE more test left under the sink and so I go for it, knowing that the morning urine is the most accurate I do my First Repsonse because my AF is due on the 30th but I have been feeling cramps in my lower abdomen, fatigue, moodiness and backaches, we also did BD on my most fertile day for the first time and so I was sure that my dream was a sign to just test and stop avoiding it. So I went in the bathroom and did it and when I came back in I only saw ONE line(not BFP) I was ok because I heard of faint positive lines so I waited...and waited...and still nothing but a big fat sign that I was NOT pregnant. My heart felt like it sank into my Army boots I had on getting ready for work. I tried to shake it off but when my DH called me this morning he asked me what was wrong and I told him what happened and he said it will be ok, he didn't think we would get a BFP until we are in the same house because he lives in cali and I live in florida due to the military it makes it hard to catch fertile days. So here I am at work fighting back my tears because all my soldiers are here today and that is unprofessional I suppose. I thought of going to the bathroom and getting my cry on but I would probably come back with a puffy face and red eyes, lol.

I will just wait to see if I miss my AF...