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|29-7-2008 - last few weeks
||My mood while writing this blog:|
It has been forever since I have been on here. Life has been crazy. Let me start with the day Buddy was born. We were so nervous on the morning of my c section. I was scared for the health of me and baby Buddy. Chip was a great help. We had a great support group of family in the waiting area. The surgery went well, I actually lost a little extra blood but they gave me some kind of medicine to help. When they started the medicine to numb me I got very nauseous and I was still alone, they hadn't brought Chip back in. They gave me something for nausea and once I was with Chip I felt much better. I tried to focus on his face and words and not think of what was going on behind that sheet. It didn't hurt at all. It was a very weird feeling of pushing like someone was shaking around my abdomen. Chip and I were so in love at that moment, so scared and excited. When I heard the doctor announce the fluid was clear I told Chip that we were getting very close. Buddy came out screaming and peeing. It was the best sound I have ever heard in my life. Just thinking of that moment still brings tears to my eyes. Just that morning I had been talking about how much I was looking forward to hearing him cry. It makes you feel like everything is going to be alright. We had NICU doctors present because it was a c section and because of my health problems. We knew there was a chance he would have to be in the NICU for a day or so. When Chip told me that he got a 9 on the Apgar and he turned the right color I burst into sobs. He was healthy, he could come to my room with me. I wanted him with me so badly. I had been worrying myself to death the last few weeks of pregnancy that this wouldn't happen. He was still checked every few hours but never had any reason to need extra attention. If anything he was an extra healthy baby. I cannot explain the relief I felt. After he was taken out and cleaned up and weighed they brought him up to my face so I could kiss him. He weighed 7lbs2oz and was 20in. Pretty small boy and they were worried he would be big! I even had one hand to touch his soft little face. He was the most beautiful sight. It was such a surreal experience. Chip held him and a nurse took a few family pictures for us in the operating room. I don't think I stopped crying the whole time. I have never felt joy like I did that day. They had to finish my surgery so Chip went with Buddy to a recovery room to wait for me. A few members of our family got to see him while I was still being stitched up. My mother in law actually held him before me!! I came to find out later. We have a picture of when she held him the first time and she is smiling from deep within. It is beautiful and touching. My doctor checked me for endometriosis and found none! More great news. I got sewn up and taken to recovery. I was suprised to see Chip there with Buddy. I was still afraid they would take Buddy to NICU. When I saw them both I broke down again. I stared at my new family with adoring eyes. I finally got the chance to hold my baby. It was such a weird feeling! I don't have much experience with babies either. It felt so good. I never wanted to let go. I was wheeled down into a room where I stayed the next 5 days and it was HUGE. It used to be a double sized room but they only do private rooms for moms at the hospital now. It was awesome. Even with all the family there was room to spare. The next few days are such a blur. We had lots of family and just a few friends come visit. It was overwhelming at times because he was already keeping me up all hours! Breastfeeding was definitely difficult to get going. My breats got really engorged and my nipples were bleeding and scabbed but I was determined. He even lost a little more than 10% his body weight. I never gave him formula (and still haven't) and just kept trying. He is tongue tied a little which makes breastfeeding hard for him but his tongue has stretched out a little already. I now pump some bottles too which helps give me a little break and I am able to be sure he is eating enough. Breastfeeding is the thing that has made me break down more than anything else. That and the first few days and even that first week after the c section was very hard. It was so painful. It was so stressful and overwhelming to be in so much pain and trying to take care of a baby. I am so thankful for Chip. He was the only one who changed diapers the first few days because I could hardly stand. He helped me out of bed and helped me shower. I have fallen even more in love with him after going through all this. I have been feeling much better recently. I am able to get some stuff done around the house on top of caring for the baby. They kept telling me to get up and walk while I was in the hospital in pain. It hurt to be up but I think that is why I have recovered pretty quickly. Not being sure he was getting enough to eat was the hardest. When we first tried to give him a pacifier he stopped taking the breast. That was the longest night I have had so far. He was screaming and wouldn't feed but was frantic trying to. It was scary. I have tried to remain calm. I have broken down a few times. I only got 10 hours of sleep tops combined in the first week. Even at the hospital I would send him to the nursery but if he would cry they would bring him back since I was breastfeeding. I must say that I enjoy nursing him so much. It is our special time. I never knew I would want to so badly. It is so rewarding though. His sleep is just now starting to get a little better. I wasn't getting more than an hour at a time until the last few days. He is sleeping for 3-4 hours at some times. He is sleeping more at night too because that used to be the worst. Chip has gone back to work this week so I am on my own. I love to be doing it all by myself and know that it is my responsibility. That brings stress to because it is all on me. It is the best job I could ever had. And the hardest! He is sleeping next to me now. I am so in love. I love being a mommy. On a side note, my sister in law went into labor 2 days after me (7/13/08) and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Caleb William Watson. The boys look so different. They were about the same size though. We are so glad to be going through this for the first time together. It helps to have someone to talk to that knows EXACTLY what you are going through. I am glad we are becoming closer friends through this. I think we will keep eachother sane in the next few weeks. I love my family. I am so lucky. I love my husband more than I ever have. He has been amazing. I love to see him holding his son and gazing at his face. I chose the right man to have children with. He already is a great dad and I know he will only be better as Buddy grows up. He loves to be a daddy and thats what maters the most. This has opened up a deeper love between us.
3 Comments on last few weeksamandag7
- Thursday, 31 Jul AHH!! Such an amazing experience!! I hope all is going well! sugarcubesandcottoncandy
- Wednesday, 30 Jul I so totally relate to what you mentioned about your husband. I had a c section too and the first few days, besides changing the baby's diapers and rocking her to slep when she cried, my husband helped me move to the potty and changed my clothes. his mom helped me shower. can never tell you how thankful i am to be blessed with such wonderful people. I did fall in love with him all over again as we lived through the first few weeks together. emarie08
- Wednesday, 30 Jul Wow, great story. I know EXACTLY everything that your talking about and feeling. Sharing a child is a special bond that only gets better. This is the happiest times of our lives even if it's stressful and NO SLEEP!! I'm so happy for you.