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11-4-2008 - Past Metho Blog...

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

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I am cleaning off my profile page and thought I'd paste the past blogs here for any others who are looking for information on methotexate shots to end a pregnancy. If you are reading this to learn more because you are going though this, please feel fee to message me with any questions~

I was around 7-8 weeks pregnant and had to end it due to a abnornal pregnancy that showed no baby or sac on the ultrasound. It was not eptopic but the injection they used was the same thing they would use for a eptopic. It has taken almost a month and am still not done with it, but am close. Will try and get pregnant again in the fall. Cheers~

Ok- here I go with a vent and more, went for a vaginal ultrasound today- and thinking I am 6 weeks would see something get answers right? Nope see NOTHING!?!?! I am to do my levels again tomorrow, to see my HCG levels, which were rising last week. I am pregnant or not? What is the deal? I have a ultrasound on tuesday one week from now to check again. The doc thinks maybe I am early instead of 6 weeks, but the dates etc from my last menstral period do not match these findings, any advice or anyone know what could be happening? I guess I just cross my fingers and wait till tomorrow for HCG's and then ultrasound. So Fustrating! But on a lighter note (not really) I do have a cervical poylop that is causing the spotting. Funtimes, thought when you are pregs you don't bleed.

UPDATE- Well this sucks, I went and did my levels again, numbers were ok, but again with the ultrasound today 1 week later, and nothing. So now I am to take some med this weekend to induce a period which is a miscairrage - anyway no baby for us, it really sucks to think everything is fine and it is not, I should be 7 weeks preg, and now I have nothing, we will try again and I will still surf the website, but hoping we have better luck next time. It hurts when I think of this and how it should be and no reason to why this would happen. Anyone else have a abnormal pregnancy? Anyone else do the med rather than the D&C? Will it hurt?

March 19 2008- I am going to my Dr's today to recieve the shots that will induce a "period" she calls it- really a miscarrage. I am scared and mad, and really just want to sleep through the next 2 days. I have read all the info about the med and know I will be sick, vomiting, diarreha, sweats, and or course the bleeding and cramping. I am nervous but want this to be over now that I know it will not be a baby. I actually feel like I don't want to get pregnant again, not for now and don't know when, maybe the whole thing was a bad idea and this is natures way of telling me that. I know that sounds bad but I am just so emotional today and can't stop thinking about it.Thanks for your kind words and support I feel like being on here helps - cause for some reason i don't want to talk about it to anyone else.

March 20th~ Well the shots were given (methotrexate) and I am still waiting for the bleeding to start- called the nurse today and she said to wait till 3 pm or so then call if nothing is happening. Wondering if they do another round of the shot or schedule a D&C. Yuck. I am going a bit nuts with the waiting, cleaned the floors today and actually scrubbed the grout in between the tiles. My hubbie just stayed away from the direct line of fire. He is concerned and hopes this thing starts - does not wish to go the d&C route. I guess from what I read the 2nd round of shots is the best option at this point. Great, the whole thing is driving me batty. And you can't even mix alcohol with the shot...so no wine to take off the edge even. Well enough complaining I guess, thanks for all the help with the questions ladies, you rock.

Mar 22~ The bleeding finally started last night, after I had to insert tablets into myself. The cramping is not too bad, more like a whole mid body ache. So that's it then. At this point I guess we have to wait 1 full menstral cycle before we try again, and then we are okay. This whole thing has calmed down for me now that it has begun rather than waiting around for it to happen. I feel not too emotional today. Back to work in 3 days and I guess I will welcome the distraction, but not the questions and sympathy, I actually hate the sympathy. I recived flowers, lilies, they always make me think of a funeral for some reason, appropriate for this I guess.

MAR 28 - Well the HGC levels came back form this past wednesday and are still too high. So we re test monday then if not going down we head towards a D& C . I actually thought I was on the mend, bleeding has stopped and feel better. This is making me feel very negative toward having another baby, if for crying out loud we could actually have sex again anyway. Feel very disconnected towards my hubbie and wish this was done.

April 01~ The levels came back today too high at 3000 or so- they should be below 5. So more levels to be drawn tomorrow (like they are going to go lower at this point) and then another set of Methotrexate shots. I am thinking I would rather get a d&c, at this point i do not want to wait any longer or what is the garuntee from this second round of shots? I am mad and fustrated. Where to go from here? I can do a d&c and be off work for 1-2 days and be done with it. Or I could do the shots again and go throught the levels being drawn again, and the thought it might not work. I am really really mad at the whole situation. I am thinking I do not want to get pregnant again at all.

April 2nd ~ Well the levels are down 3000 to 1900 in two days so now I sit tight and wait another week to run the HCG levels, glad they are down feels like the 1st thing that has gone right so far. I was not looking forward to another round of Methotrxate shots. I am putting baby thoughts on hold till the fall at least. I need a time when this is not such a issue for me. This site has been a saver tho- learned so much from others.

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