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04-9-2009 - just venting hoping it will help

My mood while writing this blog: upset

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I am so stressed out I don't know what to do anymore. So far since getting out of the hospital for pre-term labor I have been working even harder longer hours. I don't come in until 10a but I've been here until 8pm almost every night. Apparently that is not good enough and I'm now being told I need to come in earlier. KISS MY @SS. I looked at my boss today and said you know what you're lucky I even come in here. I hate this place. I hate coming here everyday I'm sick of it and completely over the BS. Then he tells me the new salary for the lazy @ss front desk people that don't do anything and go figure they're making more money than not only me but our promotions manager who will also be covering for me while I"m out. I'm so tired of them getting whatever they want because they're men and we have to do all their work. On top of that I'm dealing with the stress of Jacob's undeserving father deploying in 9 days now and everything that goes with his territory. My son is starting first grade Tuesday. I have no idea how bills are going to get paid especially while I"m on maternity leave and I'm exhausted. I cry all day now and at random times. I have nightmares when I do actually fall asleep and I don't know what to do anymore. Where I live I basically have no friends. I have no family for thousands of miles I have nothing but my kids and a job that is going to be the death of me and bills I can't pay. Sorry for the rant. I hope none of you actually tortured yourselves with reading this whole thing. I just felt like I needed to get it off my chest before I exploded.

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8 Comments on just venting hoping it will help


Isa1227 - Sunday, 6 Sep
I think if you have family or friend even if they're far away you should move or at least go stay with them for a little, you've gone through so many things and is not good for you, the baby or your other son, try to relax is hard to do it but think of your kids

Lila2cute:-) - Saturday, 5 Sep
I read all of your blogs... and i think that you just really need to start praying. I dont know if you do already but if you dont just start. Think positive and let all of the stress go, put it into gods hands and things will work out for you. Your in my thoughts and prayers :-)

saawmummy (dueoct8) - Friday, 4 Sep
Hope you are OK. Does the father have to make any payments? Take it easy. Working those hours at this stage of pregnancy must be so tiring. Is there any chance you could move closer to your family?

mommylove09 - Friday, 4 Sep
I am sorry you are having such a rough time of it. Work is getting bad for me too - I only have 2 more actual days of work and I WAS working days from 9-7 until I told my boss - NO more!Why is the baby's father not paying child support - legally he has to, no?Bills will be tough on us too - I am the primary earner in my household and the disability checks cover about 1/3 my salary. I have insomnia and nightmares too. Don't worry - it can only get better from here.

2ndlibrababy - Friday, 4 Sep
I know it's hard and I have to agree that the salary thing is totally BS! That sucks not being close to your family. Mine lives very close to me but I don't talk to anyone except my dad who lives in jersey. As far as friends go I have one that I vent to on a daily basis, I'm surprised she even picks up her phone anymore.Lol Things will get better..though I know it hardly seems like it now. Hang in there!!

Babybelly2 - Friday, 4 Sep
Things will get better. I know that they will. I guess we have to go through bad times to appreciate the good. Just think how wonderful it will be to hold your little miracle for the first time in just a few weeks.

Gigantor - Friday, 4 Sep
I wish you lived close by so I can actually help you out ! That undeserving father should at least help you financially.

emilyz77 - Friday, 4 Sep
I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope u can find a way to relax. Just sucks. Your lo will be here soon!