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25-3-2009 - Stressed and Numb

My mood while writing this blog: stress and numb

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I need to vent I guess you could say and I really dont have anyone right now to do that with. So after 20 years my parents are going to do the big D. I have seen this coming for a few months. Its a long story but am happy my dad has desided to go through with it. I think I am numb to the fact because they are in Fl still and I am in Ohio. So I have been dealing with everything over the phone since I can not go down on docs orders. So I hear the pain in my fathers voice and wish that there was somthing I could do to help. He know thats I am on his side and that if he needs anything I am here. My mother who has lost it and thinks that its everyone else left a few days ago so think are realy crazy. They have 3 young children 7,5, and 3 which is why my dad is leaving my mom its no longer safe for them to be around her (and for a few other reasons.) My 17 year old sister is the one having to help out the most right now and I feel bad for that. On top of me feeling like I should be there to help but yet am in a state that I hate and don't really know anyone, I really can not talk to anyone about this because I do not want any issues with people and my parents they know everyone I know.

On top of the stress there and me being at a loss. I am having to go to the doctors at least 2 times a week (some times 3) for a NST and Ultrasound. I have now less than a week to pack up my whole house to move and have been on meds that make me sleepy and sick and just not feel right. My 1 year old has now desided that she needs to be with me 24/7 she has a fit if I go to the bathroom. All these doctors appontments are getting hard to manage with the 2 little ones and everything else. Also I now know that there is no way I am going to get any help after my c-section with the drama with my family and my hubbys family they are long story them selfs. I have also been told that I need to stay in bed as much as possible. HAHAH LOL yeah like that is going to happen. I guess I am just losted and have no clue which way is up or down or where to go. Sorry for this being so long just needed to let it out I guess. At least as of last appontment the baby is doing a lot better than they thought he was going to do, I just hope all stays will with him.

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