christinarose's I-am-pregnantblog

christinarose
	Age: 23 Country: Canada Province/region: Alberta City: Private Partner: My best friend, my lover, Geoff Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Mommy/Housewife Extraordinaire!!!
	Online: 3 hours ago. Last updated: 41 days ago. Member since: 685 days
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24-9-2009 - How much can one handle?

My mood while writing this blog:
Sad, completely overwhelmed...

Life, it's a roller coaster. My babies are both happy and healthy. Me, not either. I'm not a complainer. But these days, I feel more alone then ever. I have lots of support from my extended family, but Geoff, zero. I may as well be a single mother. Something I consider daily now...I'm just so unhappy. I really feel like I am constantly competing with his computer or his parents. They are a huge help to me, amazing help. But I feel like he relies on them way too much. I'm on the edge of tears all day everyday, at any moment I could cry. LIFE is so overwhelming right now. I feel like I have so much to do and no time to do it. On top of everything I have a yeast infection on my nipples AND mastitis. Another thing that I should just be able to deal with according to Geoff. AND, on top of that, my dear sweet niece was diagnosed with Acute Lyphblastic Leukemia just this past Monday. She's only 3 and so does not deserve to have this happen to her. I feel like I should be there for my sister, and so guilty that I can't, Just writing all this I am in tears. It's so much to deal with. This is a major test of my sanity. Everyone says, just take care of you and your babies, everything else can fall to the side. But if I do that, then once my energy is back I have a HUGE amount of things to deal with, and once done, put me right back where I started. I'm just so overwhelmed right now, so sad, feeling so alone, really could use Geoff to be there for me...

2 Comments on How much can one handle?

ashleypg - Thursday, 22 Oct
I have come to the conclusion that all men (except for my son) are idiots. The breast problems would be very frustraiting... I can't even imagine. I would probably cry all the time. I am very sorry to hear about your niece. My mum had leukemia when she was 9 before there was treatment... she was given experimental drugs that have changed the way we treat it today. That means nothing, though. I just hope that she is as lucky as my mum. I am so sorry.

Diane-taketwo - Thursday, 24 Sep
Hun, I am so sorry you are going through so much right now, and that Geoff is not pulling his weight. Sometimes it takes a major 'sit down heart to heart' of all the things you are feeling and experiencing to make a man truly see how deep in pain you are. Many hospitals in Canada offer post natal support for moms - not just for post partum depression, but for family support as well. Sometimes talking to someone will give you perspective on where to begin the conversation with your partner - he may even want to join a session, if you express how serious you are about the 'single mom' potential. I am speaking from experience on the post natal support - I needed it - more for myself after a miscarriage, but the Dr. told me of all the circumstances in which her services (and other Dr.'s like her supported by MCP) can be made available - needing emotional support and 'partner counseling' was one of them. Worth a call to your Dr. perhaps. As for your poor little niece - that is just so sad. I will keep her in my thoughts, and pray she recovers as so many children with this diagnosis do today. My friends little sis was a "Wish Kid" 12 years ago, and now she is in university :) Take care, as best you can, and I hope things start improving for you soon!!

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