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25-9-2008 - Wonders...

My mood while writing this blog: Uneasy

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As the time is getting closer and closer, I can't help but wonder what this little life is going to bring. I know this is everyones concern as well, but in my situation it brings back memories of things I never really like to think about.... my adoption.

I have been adopted (legally) twice and not legally about 4 more times. I don't know my real birth family and I don't think I ever will because I was adopted from out of the U.S. I've always known I was adopted and I've had to deal with it the best way possible. The family I currently have are wonderful people and they had 2 sons but wanted a girl, so they adopted me. And growing up it was difficult knowing that I was different. It is still hard not knowing where I came from. And that's where my worries are....

I wonder about what my daughter is going to look like since I don't even know who I look like. I wonder if she will be healthy since I don't know if there is any disease (cancer, etc) that may run through my blood family. I wonder what personality traits she will have and what type of things she will do and if anyone in my family did or were interested in the same things. There are sooo many things that I wonder about, so many things that took me years to stop thinking about and so many hills I got over but now with my baby almost here, it's nearly impossible for these old feelings to come up again.

I know that I will make her life SOO different than what mine was like but I will have to let her know about our family (or lack of) situation. And I hope she will be understanding and not be upset that she will not know her roots either. I already love her with all my heart and I could never do the things that people have done to me. I guess that's all I can do, just give her the love that she deserves and be there for her always.

I will make a difference in her life just as she has already done in mine!

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1 Comments on Wonders...


kayleejane - Thursday, 25 Sep
Aww im sure everything will be ok!! As long as ur daughter has u and ur loving family.. blood or not.. she'll be just fine!!! xx