| consmo683 | |
 | Age: 25 Country: Colombia- USA Province/region: Massachusetts City: Everett Partner: Joe Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Medical Interpreter |
| Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 315 days ago. Member since: 1302 days | |
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| 25-9-2009 - Is hard not to give up |  My mood while writing this blog:Ok |
I've been feeling very low lately, specially because my endometriosis is causing me to have pain, really bad bad pain again, and i think i would never get pregnant. I've been looking for a good GYN, that could gide me and helpt to my struggles with the pain, and all the issues i keep having due to the PCOS. Today when i, again, feel less lucky, empty and unworthy, i cant pretend not to think about how bad i want to get pregnant. My first patient at work, was in labor and i couldnt help thinking about the day that I will be the one having a baby. Then my co-worker tells me she's pregnant again (she has a baby girl six months ago), and i'm happy for her, i trully am, but i cant help to feel sad.
I am so tired, and in so much pain right now, I wish i could go to the ER and get some relieve...but at the same time i wish i just could keep working and hopefully wait for the pain to go away on its own... Today it's one of those days where i wish i could just go away and hide from reality, today i wish i could say out loud, that im suffering, but i can't, because i know what people are going to say to me öh if yo have pain now, wait till you have a baby", "öh that's just in you head" or "just take a midol, the paing will go away soon"
I know i'm supposed to be patient, have faith, if i haven't gotten pregnant yet it's because it's not the right time, I also know that God knows when the perfect time, and that HE is the only one that can give me the strenght to keep moving on, and hoping that someday i will have the blessing of having a baby of my own. But right now, my faith is running low, and i feel like i dont have anyone to turn to... i'm fighting against my own emotions, and i'm trying so hard to not give up, and even though i will never do so (give up), today, i just have to take a deep breath, and hope and pray for the best to come.
God I hope you know, that all the women here TTC, are counting on you, that we have faith even though we struggle in many differnet ways, we have yet to give up, and we're still here waiting for a little miracles of life
4 Comments on Is hard not to give up
TheDayWeDanced - Friday, 18 Dec
I suffered from endometriosis when I was 25 causing a lot of pain and bleeding. It was so bad I would get up and would see blood in the seat in my office IT WAS BAD! Suffered a stroke as a result of so much blood loss and the doctors did not understand what was wrong with me until i was visited by a specialist. Sadly I was told my uterus would be affected during surgery and possibly never carry a child. I remember the doctor said this does not mean you can't be a mother if you really need to you will marry a man that will pay for IVF, ART and a surrogate to carry your child. So today I find my self married with a wonderful man and a surrogate carrying our dreams.
kwaggonerrn - Friday, 2 Oct
Wow. I absolutely could NOT have said it better! I feel the same exact way! My office is on the same floor as labor & delivery & it hurts me to see all those babies & sweet moms. Of course I am happy for them but I can't help feeling sad or empty. And I know HE has a plan, I just wish His plan for me included a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby.
Colleen.V. - Friday, 25 Sep
I know how you are feeling today!! Its exactly how I feel today...Everyone says stay positive it will happen! WHEN???Ugh but i guess all we can do it remain happy as can be expected and keep our chins up and wait for our BFP!!! as for the pain, its ok to say you need something for the pain...I hope all gets better soon...your in my thoughts.
blee71377 - Friday, 25 Sep
Don't give up! I didn't think I would get pregnant, but it happened. Your story sounds exactly like my sister's. She has endo, PCOS, hyperlplasia, displasia. She tries very hard to be positive, but it does get to her. I wish I could take that away from her and you, and all other good women suffering. God does have a plan for you. Be strong! Find strength during this trial in your life. Turn to God in prayer and turn everything over to His hands. You are a beautiful daughter of God and He loves you very much. I know He will bless you with the baby you want so badly. You are in my prayers! =)
No photos added.
24-7-2010 - 30 Weeks!
03-6-2010 - Tired
06-4-2010 - 15 weeks!
15-2-2010 - Just tired
22-1-2010 - Can not believe it!
30-10-2009 - PAIN!!!
25-9-2009 - Is hard not to give up
23-9-2008 - DREAMS
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