09-12-2009 - So lost..

My mood while writing this blog: sad

So ive been dating nick for about 9 months now....obviously this pregnancy was a big opps..as im 7 months preggo!!!OOpps!! Anyways..things have been great..hes such a great guy..loves me and my son so much. We recently got engaged on my bday..nov 10th. I couldnt be happier witht he way my life is! Well when we first started dating his mom was living in another state..and they never had a great relationship..she kicked him out when he was 13.he lived with his dad..about 3 years ago she up and left to go to this new state with a man that she met andmarried over the internet..over a period of 5 months. So he has alot of anger with his mom. Well last year she got into a horrible riding accident, fell off a horse, and was in a coma and almost died. She didnt but she is a little slow and has the mentality of a 17 year old. But she lives on her own and drives. Oh and i forgot to mention she moved back in april of this year. Now anytime she calls nick she cried to him that shes fat and ugly and she hates the way her life is and she wishes she wouldve just died...awsome huh!! So she either calls to bicth and complain abot life..or she calls when she needs nick to do something..like go get her plants from her mothers house because " shes not talking to her ever again"..grrr....and nick is an only child..and has a great heart..so he deals with her because she has no friends...so he sits and listens...this is takin a HUGE toll on him..to the point she has him so stressed out he cries...like full fledge bawls his eyes out. I tell him he needs to sit and tell her that he is not her therapist and he has enough shit to deal with...but he has sympathy for her..and i understand that where she is his mom..but come on now....shes going to keep doing this until he says STOP. And for the kicker..ive met this lady oh id say abot 4 times for a total of 3 hours maybe...and she tells him she doesntlike me and i have a chip on my shoulder and he shoulnt marry me, im not the one!!!!!!! Mind you she DOESNT know we are engaged. He doesnt want to tell her because he doesnt want to deal with her. Everyone else knows but her. In a way that kinda hurts me but on the other hand i dont want him to have to deal with her crap. But over the past couple months he has so much stress from her and everything else that we argue...and now its to the point where he doesnt want to touch me because hes so stressed he doesnt want to show any affection....nice kick to the face. So than he tells me this...my horomones have already got me down..now im really depressed and i wish he would just talk to his mom. And the sad part is he is still a man so he still wants sex..but all im thinking is you cant even put your hand on my leg while we are driving and you want to be intimate?!! It just hurts sooo bad and i dont know what to do. He has now started sleeping on the couch because he claims the bed is uncomfy..which it is..but its just one more thing to add to the great relationship... and im so afraid he will kick us out..and i will be 26 with 2 kids by 2 different dads and have to move back home till i can get on my feet..this baby is due in feb..and i just dont know what im doing.......my chest literally aches......i love him sooo much and i want to be with him forever.....but i feel he is slipping away from me because of his damn bitch mother..... :(