16-11-2009 - Sorry Ladies!!

My mood while writing this blog: tired

i have been M.I.A for the last couple days, the site was down and then well i am just trying to get my act together for this cycle!! so sorry if u havent heard from me or i havent answered any blogs etc. i feel like a bad friend :( i hope u all understand....

its CD4 for me today and im just so shocked that AF showed up this cycle and early at that. well that just goes to show that symptoms dont mean anything! i had every symptom in the book last cycle and alas im not pregnant yet....im trying to stay away from here as best i can, just to keep my mind clear. i find my head is always racing with thoughts of being pregnant and its being to consume me. im doing pretty well actually as this is the first time ive really been on in 3 days or so, im more relaxed now that i have found something to keep me occupied. i got the sims 3 game and im loving it!! LOL its giving me something to get me out of my own mind for a little while. i have a doctors appointment on December 2nd to see about possibly getting an HSG done in the upcoming months, im not sure if my tubes are blocked but it sure seems like everytime i go i discover something wrong with my reproductive system and im taking 2 steps back ugh.

this month i decided im going to give soy another shot. i was sooo sick last cycle that im not even sure if i had a chance from the beginning. my immune system was shot and im only just getting better :/ anyways yeah, soy this cycle CD5-9 and im uping my dose to 100mg/day. i will continue with my EPO until O and i think benadryl again (post O) only bcuz i take it everyday anyways for my hives lol ive been trying to take better care of myself this cycle in terms of foods and exercise. i think im getting depressed tho bcuz i find it hard to even be comfortable with myself. i hate looking in the mirror, i never dress up, i never leave the house, im a disgrace :( i sure hope i feel better soon....im not tracking anything this cycle, just takin my meds, BD like mad and hoping for the best!

I sure hope all u ladies are doing well and if not then just send me a msg please :) i have about 40 unread msgs in my account that i just cannot get around to these days (cleaning and decorating for xmas!) im so excited, savanaa is going to love it! :) i live for her everyday! she is my world and i just hope that god hears my prayers and sends me another blessing!

much love

Chasity xoxoxo