cpalmer's I-am-pregnantblog

cpalmer
	Age: 21 Country: Canada Province/region: City: Partner: Hubby Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: SAHM
	Online: 8 days ago. Last updated: 675 days ago. Member since: 1489 days
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21-12-2009 - Not This Time...

My mood while writing this blog:
not impressed

so apparently my body thinks it's okay to screw with me every single time, not only did i not O until my cycle was almost over but yeah u guessed it i'm not pregnant, yet again...what do i have to do to make this happen :( i think i've pretty much tried everything i can, i mean theres just so many things wrong with me that i dont think this is ever going to happen...i guess it is my fault for letting myself have hope thinking that maybe, just maybe i will be a mother once again, but no. so im either having a chemical pregnancy or i have another cyst because the test was definatly positive, hubby seen it as well.

so im supposed to see the RE this upcoming month of january and then get an HSG in February to check on my tubes, now that i think about it, im not sure i want to put myself thru anymore of anything because frankly i dont think it's going to work anyways. i have been thinkin about going back on birth control and just saying 'i give up' let my body win the war it has been trying so hard to win. it's not worth it, losing my sanity over something that i want so bad but realize is probably never going to happen and if it does probably not for a long time, i cant keep this up because i have been so depressed its making me physically sick and i dont deserve to do this to myself and my family. so i guess thats that then.

good luck to everyone else on ur journey to have a child because im sure, unlike me you will have great success in the future.

much love

Chasity xoxoxo

11 Comments on Not This Time...

jeff - Tuesday, 22 Dec
:(

R-N-E-Bump - Tuesday, 22 Dec
Oh I'm so terribly sorry. I keep hoping and praying every month. And knowing what it's like having trouble conceiving I know it will be impossible to just "give up." It's one of those awful things that you can't get out of your mind until you're finally successful. So I'm sure getting the testing done would be wise. If nothing else you will know what's going on and you'll be able to make some decisions then. We're all here to support you, Chastity, in whatever decision you make.

Cherryb0m - Tuesday, 22 Dec
i still have hope!!! i would get the HSG done just to see for yourself. after that, i would really take some time for yourself :-) give your body and mind a little break, it's not giving up, it's not letting your body win, it's letting your body and mind heal for a little bit :-)

min41 - Tuesday, 22 Dec
Don't take this the wrong way sweetie, beacuse I really care about you and what you have been going through, but you are young and you should not be having to go through this depressing crap, I agree. My advice, as an 'old woman' (at least in the ttc jouney) is to get the hsg done, because you need to know, and then have a break for 6-12months, get really healthy and take time to do special things for you that have nothing to do with ttc. I wish you only the best and hope that one day you get to hold your own baby in your arms. Hugs ***

TanMansMomma32 - Monday, 21 Dec
aawww hun I am sorry

MamaCas29 - Monday, 21 Dec
I'm sorry hun...

mommy-to-Noah-and-Runa - Monday, 21 Dec
So sorry honey. Take a break. At this point the stress is probably a huge factor. I went through a window of infertility in my mid-20's only to turn into fertile-myrtil in my late 20's early 30's. My was due to those damn cysts too and it took a couple years to get those under control and my body straightened out. But it did happen. It is important you take care of YOUR health first because the stress is draining you of more than just happiness. Luv you. Hugs

hopefully3 - Monday, 21 Dec
i am so so sorry! i am totally speechless and heartbroken for you... We all want this so bad for you too! Please know if you need to talk i am here. i want to tell you dont lose hope but i know how you feel... i dont want you to have this pain hun and i hope and pray that your bfp is coming very very soon. Lots of love! ~Tanya~

SarahLJ - Monday, 21 Dec
I am so so sorry hun :-( I am gutted for you I really am. It will happen hun. I know how hard to wait is, especially seeing positive HPTS and for nothing to come of them. I wish you all the luck in TTC hun.

B3thy - Monday, 21 Dec
I am so sorry!!! I cannot imagine how frustrating this must all be. maybe you just need to give yourself a break and try again after the holidays are over. please message me if you need to talk!!!

babyhope2 - Monday, 21 Dec
Hun, I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now you really need it. I know it's been so long but you can give up on hope. I wish you wouldn't get so depressed but I know what you mean. I hope you start to feel better with yourself. Remember I am hear to listen to you if you need to vent. Keep your head up. I will continuously pray and think of you until you get your wish. I know it doesn't seem like it but It WILL Happen. HUGS HUGS HUGS.

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