cpalmer's I-am-pregnantblog

cpalmer
	Age: 21 Country: Canada Province/region: City: Partner: Hubby Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: SAHM
	Online: 8 days ago. Last updated: 675 days ago. Member since: 1489 days
\| Profile \| Photos (15) \| Children (1) \| Blog (52) \| Polls (1) \| Agenda (12) \| Comments added (3355) \| Notepad

Members

Write a new blog

16-3-2010 - Did U Miss Me??

My mood while writing this blog:
better

hello again ladies! thanks for ur amazingly supportive comments on my last blog, im doing okay just a bit upset.....its just so hard for me to keep goin day to day when everyday i am hearing of yet another person i know getting pregnant, now im not talking about any of you because all of you at least deserve to be pregnant especially after having to try and try and most of us are still trying...well heres the story...
im pretty sure everyone i know is pregnant and it's sooo difficult to take because not only were they all 'unexpected' they are also undeserving (not all of them are), i know that sounds mean and every baby is a blessing but i just cant comprehend how an 18 yr old pill head (exstasy to be exact) and he boyfriend who also does drugs, wound up pregnant!!!?? like WTF? i just cant understand how someone who 1. doesnt take care of herself (how is she supposed to take care of a baby?) 2. didnt want the baby (meaning it wasnt planned also she wasnt sure she was goin to keep it) & 3. isnt grow up enough (i was 18 when i got pregnant BUT i was wayyy more mature then this girl for sure)
WHY!!! why does this stuff happen??? really just boggles my mind, im just sitting over here trying my ass off when every other person who couldnt give two sh*ts are popping up saying 'oops i guess condoms arnt 97% effective' or 'i did it again, looks like number three is on the way' (this said by another woman i know who has 2 previous children both by different fathers and the one she is carrying is by a different guy then either of the first two and im pretty sure she is on welfare- not saying thats a bad thing but why would bring another child into the world knowing that she cant even support the two she has on her own?) people who dont need to be getting pregnant and dont want to get pregnant should learn about better BC options or something and people who try their hardest shouldnt have to breakdown all the freaking time because it just isnt happening for them no matter what they do :( it just sucks really bad, i know in my heart all i want is another baby, i want lots of babies, i didnt think i wanted alot (one or two) but now after trying so hard for so long i just cant take the chance of not trying again, i cant give up, i will have my wish one way or another, i need to stop feeling so sorry for myself bcuz its tearing my heart into little pieces, i would just like to know what im doing wrong??? is there even a right way? why do some people get pregnant and others not? i mean it was so easy the first time it was unplanned but i grew up pretty damn fast and took on my responsibility and now that im actually open to it, nothing is happening....i know you are probably thinking ' yeah so what u have a kid be happy' its not that simple or 'just relax, it will happen when it happens' if that was true it would have happened while i was relaxing, i have done that method and it sure as heck didnt work for me :( blah sorry for venting i just cant deal with this, its wayy too much! i finally start to think im fine with my whole situation and then another unsuspected friend pops up with the 'guess what' and 'im pregnant' well i wish they could understand that im happy for them but im also quite jealous and mad that it isnt me, it should be me, or maybe it shouldnt, maybe im not meant to be a mom, altho if that was the case god (or whoever is out there) screwed up pretty bad by giving me the best gift ever, how can he expect me to not want more of this?? motherhood is amazing and i hate that i took my first pregnancy for granted thinking it would happen again one day, my was i naive....am i a bad person for feeling like this, i mean i know i shouldnt but i really cant help it.....
anyways yeah so thats whats being bugging me lately.....other then that things are looking good, chad and i are doing better relationship wise, he can be quite a good man when he puts his all into it....also im goin to get a new tattoo on friday! this will be #5 and a new piercing is comin soon (not sure which because i cant decide :P )
hope ur all doing well! congrats to all who have recently had their babies, i know i havent been on much but i wish u all the best ladies :)
much love
Chasity
xoxoxo

12 Comments on Did U Miss Me??

3rdTry - Tuesday, 23 Mar
I totally agree, It stresses me out constantly.

hopefully3 - Thursday, 18 Mar
Poor thing!!!! I completely understand how you are feeling and you are entitled to feel this way... Its been a long hard road for you. Keep your faith hunny! We are all pulling for you... And I hate to repeat myself time and time again... But i just know a bfp is headed your way!!!! *HUGS*

janet1972 - Thursday, 18 Mar
I am so glad you are here, We missed you terribly and hope that you get what you wish for, you are a pretty amazing and strong friend and we are here always for you.

janet1972 - Thursday, 18 Mar
I am so glad you are here, We missed you terribly and hope that you get what you wish for, you are a pretty amazing and strong friend and we are here always for you.

kathy=^.^= - Wednesday, 17 Mar
im not gonna lie but before i got pregnant with my first baby i was on drugs! i was only 15 but u know what, it changed my life, actually it saved my life! i think every woman deserves the chance to be a mom and the second chance at life to change. i think that its nobodys place to judge ppl for becoming pregnant weather they have no money or on welfare living on the goverment. actually ppl with money only send there kids with nannys all day and dont have time for kids! i am really sorry that you are going through this but everything happens for a reason and you not getting pregnant is gods way to make you a stronger person! i do believe you will have another baby and it will happen on gods time. just be thankful you get to experience motherhood. i have a friend who cant have babies at all. i dont know where ur faith is but have strong faith and pray about it. i can kinda understand what ur going through i went through so many m/c and i couldnt be around pregnant women with out crying. i do wish you big hugs a lots of baby dust. i know you deserver a bfp and i hope that it happens real soon for you.

B3thy - Wednesday, 17 Mar
oh HUGS, HUGS and more HUGS girl! I am so sorry that you haven't gotten your BFP yet but it will happen...I wish I could tell you when but unfortunately life does not care when we want something sometimes. hang in there girl and glad to hear things are going well with your man.

TanMansMomma32 - Wednesday, 17 Mar
I understand alot ( bout the pill head maybe god is trying to turn her and his life around my cousin was one of those too) It sucks watching everyone around you fall pregnant when you are trying so hard. I know that you will get your BFP!!

SarahLJ - Wednesday, 17 Mar
Oh hunny I wish I could help you. I just want you to know that I understand exactly how you feel and I feel the same way. I would give anything to see you get your BFP hun, honestly I would. It will happen for you though at some point and I really hope its sooner rather than later.

DiandClover - Wednesday, 17 Mar
*ditto* ((hug))

helenwantsabub - Wednesday, 17 Mar
I know how u feel, and it sucks. I'm like that. I so want to have a baby, and its gonna take me ages, feels like it'll be forever. And I see people who are pregnant, or hear so and so is pregnant, and i see what I want, and think,i wish it wa me who is, and its not fair.. Hang in there, I know its hard, but you will have your baby. you might just fall pregnant when u least expect it...

rubylove - Tuesday, 16 Mar
I understand exactly how u feel...I went thru that for 2 yrs! Every friend of mine was having another baby, and then I would come on here and every person I was chatting with was pregnant! I kind of withdrew into my own little world, because NOBODY understood!! My friend was on the pill and she got pregnant! She's like "I ddin't even miss a dose". Although she deserves kids though that's the only difference...but I was still damn jealous and sad. anyway all this to say, that I broke down many times...especially knowing that i was going on 33 yrs old..I thought time is runnin out! So I have to say at least u have plety of time on ur side to deal with ur situation and try every possible option there is to getting pregnant. Im sorry I know u hate hearing the age thing..but its true, ur so lucky to be young(Im jealous lol) so pls pls pls dont give up..do whatever the dr says...it will happen I PROMISE u. tc xoxo

mfbrown - Tuesday, 16 Mar
:0( Oh I wish I knew the magic words to say Chas. All I can come up with is 'sorry' I wish I understood the whole trying game and why it has to take so long for those who want it desperately. :0( It doesn't and never has made any sense to me.

Photos