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02-10-2009 - Updates, pics, a bit of advice...???

My mood while writing this blog: a ball of emotions

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So today is October 2, 2009. As I type I am sitting at work busy on the switchboards as usual....Here's how life has been lately. Kris and i are all moved into our new house, we have full custody of his 4 year old now, Preston is almost 2 months old, Kris is laid-off from his job and staying home full time with the kids, and I am back to work full time. I got 4 wks off of work to enjoy my new baby boy....then Kris got laid-off so back to work it was for me. I miss my little boy like crazy at night and miss puttin him to sleep everynt =(....

Kris's daughter Angelene has been living with us full time since about 4 days after Preston was born. it has been so nice to have a completed family....but I am becoming very aware that i am obviously no replacement for her mother. it really is not a good situation but I sure am trying to make up for the fact that her mother has more or less left her. Angelene is really loving the fact that she has a little brother to look after and is always giving him kisses!!

The new house is great....lots of white walls but sooner or later I will find some colors I like and the money to buy the paint...lol. Kris not working is really getting hard and we have been bickering ALOT. I guess he thinks I have it easy and vice-versa. I wish I could stay home all day and watch my kids grow-up....I feel like I am missing ALOT, and actually I know I am and it breaks my heart...my little boy is already smiling and I am missing the chances to see it.....not to mention on my days off I have sooo many errands to run that I am gone from 830am to 630pm just doing what needs to be done fro myself, the kids, groceries, doctors, bill paying....this wk included halloween costume hunting.... so back to the bickering....I tried to confide in Kris the other nt because it is really hard for me to be working knowing I am missing those precious moments with my first child and you know what he did....he walked away from me...didn't want to hear what I had to say. So i asked him if he would be happier if I found someone else to confide in(we all know what this means).....it didn't even phase him. I was so heart broken i went to bed crying and he doesn't even know it! Needless to say that part of life isn't going so well and I don't even know where to begin to try and mend things. Any advice would be appreciated....

Thank you all for listening and letting me vent. There are plenty of new pics of my little man and his big sis....enjoy and thanks again girls.

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