01-7-2009 - Being a Mommy..

My mood while writing this blog: everything...you name it! :)

Well....Baby Silas will be 6 weeks old on the 4th!! :) I can't belive it. It seems like no time, but then again it seems like forever ago too. He is a great baby!! Last night was the first time he slet almost all the way through, I put him down at 10:30 then he didn't wake up till 5!! YAH!! He usually wakes up about 3, then every 2 hours after that. Man was it nice to sleep that long!! Well at first I was really nervous about taking him places, I didn't know how he was going to react to different things. And the heat too...its been hot here latley with the heat index getting up to 105!! SCREW THAT!! But anyways I won't get into to many deatails but my little sister was in the ICU a couple of weeks ago and so I really needed to be there for my family and help take care of my little brothers and sisters and baby niece. So Nat took me and Silas to meet my dad and my dad took me to the hospital and their house, we were there for a week. Thankfully my little sister did get to go home and is recovering great. But it was SOOO hard to be away from home. Silas was a champ and did wonderful. Me on the other hand was a nervous wreck. The whole time I was there, I just wanted to be home, then it was time for me to come home and all I wanted to do was stay. It was a little to much for a new mom. Other than that my hormones haven't been to bad, every once in a while I just get REALLY sad, but its only for about an hour or so, then I'm totally fine.

Is anyone else having mixed feelings on going back to work??? I wanna go back just like Monday nights (as I bartend at at sportsbar and Mon, Nite Football is coming up) and see how it goes, but I know that once I go the first couple of times its not going to be "fun" anymore and I'm going to miss my baby. But I'm going to have to do something, my husband makes enough money but thats just it. Its JUST enough, we can't do the things we like to do. We have a good chuck saved up but I just hate digging into it to pay for things that aren't NEEDED just things we---I---want. :) It will just be nice to have some exta spending money. I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get my ass back working, its just one day a week to start out. Besides that I don't know it might make me feel good to have some social life back. I dunno.

My baby weighs in at 11.2lbs as of yesterday...and as for me I'm 160.2lb ....sucks I've still got about 15lbs to go to be what I wanna be at. At the time I got pregnant I was 150, but had just gained a little bit of weight for some reason. I know that quiting smoking probaly is some of the problem, but I hope its not all of it. I eat really healthy so I think that if I start walking these hills that I live on it might help a little bit. I do breastfeed so, maybe that is helping too. Anyways I just wanted to update everyone I hope you all are doing great and the babies are getting fatter and fatter :)