01-7-2008 - lost ankles

My mood while writing this blog: kinda cranky, kinda not

So, for my birthday (which is today) I told Shawn that I wanted to go camping. It was a blast! We went into the Mountains (well into the Foothills of the Rocky Mnts) and it was sooo nice. But at some point this weekend I lost my ankles. I know I had ankle bones last week.

I am finding myself becoming really self conscious of my body again - I mean more so than normal and normal self concious for me if like changing my outfit 32 times, then deciding not to leave the house because nothing fits right or looks right or feels right. I think part of this reason is on this paticular camping trip we went with two other women who happen to have the nice sleder frames I have always wished and dreamed to have. One of which is like 32 weeks pregnant and is about the same size as me (tummy-wise). They are both tall and skinny and look fabulous all the time. I look greasy and unporportioned all the time.
I bought myself a bathing suit and thought I'd start going to the pool - to keep cool and to also get some low impact exercise. Now I am doubting myself - do I really want to subject other people to seeing *this* in a swim suit?!

I feel like if I was made of play-dough - first of all, I'd be the purple colour, but after it's dried out a little and looks kinda purple/grey - I'd be a full size person that someone squished down to make almost instantly shorter. Still made up of all the same parts, same amount of play-dough as before - now just more compact. That is me. "compact". In other words - I am short, and I have a large ass, hips and thighs. MEH!
Anywhoo... here are a couple of pictures from our camping trip. They are at the beautiful Cresent Falls (Alberta).

Really cold glacier water on hot swollen feet and ankles (or Cankles now as I fondly refer to them)

Beached whale

Overlooking the falls