29-9-2009 - Feeling Relieved

My mood while writing this blog: ok

Well, with much regret and happiness (all at the same time) I am annoucing that I am officially out of the TTC loop. I am starting back on BC on Sunday. My husband and I have been somewhat actively trying for the last 7 months. I had a miscarriage in May but other than that nothing... Every month I get my hopes up only to be sorely disappointed. I thought for sure we were preggos this month and then yesterday AF arrived and three days early at that!

With the disappointment that came with AF also came a realization. I have been obsessing so much over why my body is not allowing me to get pregnant that I am not giving addequate attention to my two beautiful children Preston-5 and Peyton 10 mo. It has been an ajustment with two children and working full time as it is. Why would I want to put that added stress on our family, especially with the holidays coming up?

If we do decide to try for a third, it will be our last and final one and I want the pregnancy to be as stress-free and smooth sailing as possible. This means that I will be financially able to stay at home after the baby is born and that our debt loan will be minimal-oh and we would need a bigger vehicle! Obviously the good Lord knows that none of these objectives are able to be met at the meantime, hence no baby! I often times forget that I am not ultimately the one in control and need to remind myself to put my life on auto pilot and let God take control. What is meant to be will be!

Sorry this is so long but I want to wish everyone who is TTC the best of luck and to remind everyone to with or without children to cherish your life the way it is because there will be better days around the corner!