danamommy08's I-am-pregnantblog

danamommy08
	Age: 28 Country: US Province/region: Ohio City: Cincinnati Partner: Ben (Husband) Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: SAHM
	Online: 40 days ago. Last updated: 55 days ago. Member since: 2126 days
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09-1-2012 - 17 years and I still remember like it was yesterday

My mood while writing this blog:
Sad

17 years ago today I was 9 years old and in the 4th grade. My mom was 38 weeks pregnant with her 4th baby. I am the oldest. My sister, Danielle, was 6 years old and my sister, Michelle, was 2 1/2 years old. I came home from school that day and found my mom laying on the couch, which stopped me in my tracks. I knew something was wrong and asked her and she told me she hadn't felt the baby move all day. She called the doctor and he wanted to see her when my dad got home from work. My sisters and I were sent to our neighbor's house while our parents went to the doctor. The neighbor tried to keep us busy. When my dad got back and I saw his red rimmed eyes I bolted out the door and across the parking lot to our apartment building. I found my mom in her bedroom, kneeling on the floor over a pile of baby clothes. The baby, our first little boy, had passed away. My mom was induced the next day, Jan 10, 1995, and my little brother was born sleeping. His umbilical cord was knotted in two places and eventually cut off his oxygen supply. He was perfect and absolutely beautiful. I was asked if I wanted to hold him and I said no, which I wish I could take back now. I was afraid to hold him. Someone took pictures of him and us, which later my mom made an album of the pictures and the sympathy cards we received. He was buried in a little styrofoam box and the hospital gave my parents a beautiful plaque with his name and birth date engraved on it. He is named after our dad, David Alan.
On November 19, 1997, my sister, Melanie, was born. The pregnancy was hard on my mom and after Melanie was born and my mom cleaned up, she clutched baby Melanie to her chest and bawled. Melanie was born with a red birthmark in the shape of kissing lips. We like to think David kissed her right before she made her appearance, to let us know he is ok and he is always with us. The birthmark has faded, Melanie is 14 years old now, but we remember.
I just can't believe 17 years have passed. He would be graduating high school this year. I wonder what kind of person he would have become. I wonder what he would look like. I wonder if he would have a girlfriend none of his 3 older sisters liked, lol. I wonder if he would enjoy fishing with our dad and have the same sense of humor and quick wit. I'm sure he would be a smart ass like the rest of us, lol. ;)
Hi, little brother. Tomorrow is your 17th birthday. I have a doctor appt in the building right next to the hospital you were born in. I have mixed feelings about it but you'll watch over me, right? I'm just going for an u/s but I want everything to be great. Mom and Dad are going to watch the kids while I'm at my appt. Then mom, me and the kids are going to lunch with some of mom's co-workers. I'm sorry I haven't brought Lily to your resting place yet. I can't promise tomorrow I will but I will try. Love you, little brother. Be good up there.
Your big sister,
Dana

3 Comments on 17 years and I still remember like it was yesterday

danamommy08 - Tuesday, 1 Jan
Thank you, Liz. His 18th birthday is just 9 days away now. Its hard to believe. And I still haven't taken Lily to visit his grave :/

lizamafers - Friday, 28 Dec
Oh Dana that was so sad :'( I cried like a baby. I love how you all have come together! And bless your parents, no one should ever go through that!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxo

lizamafers - Friday, 28 Dec
Oh Dana that was so sad :'( I cried like a baby. I love how you all have come together! And bless your parents, no one should ever go through that!!!!! Xoxoxoxoxo

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