05-9-2008 - SPD

My mood while writing this blog: EXHAUSTED

Hey Girls!

So i have been diagnosed with S.P.D and without a shadow of a doubt it is the bane of my life at the moment, its is extremely debilitating and soo frustrating. I had physiotherapy last week where the therapist gave me some beautiful things to wear, a three belt support belt,- which i dont wear as it velcros together and irritates the life outta me and slips down after travelling or sitting for a period of time, so when at work im constantly faffing with it and ripping the velcro on and off several times a day, so i have decided to sick with the tubigrip- like a massive unattractive bodyshaper to give you curves to squeeze into the favourite dress after a few added pounds. But its soooooo hot and thick, it goes to my knees from the middle of my bump, so im totally restricted and cannot open legs or walk correctly- which is the thing really, to squeeze everything back in, but using this, walking like a penguin and the crutches are a nightmare.

I have to walk upstairs backwards so my legs are never pushing into the pubic bone, i have to sit on edge of bed, legs 'glued' together and shuffle on, which is hard to do as the bed is really high and come up to my thighs,get in and out of the bath with my hands on the side of the bath and flip my legs over the side and wiggle out, i think i would laugh i was watching someone else, but when its happening to you, its just not that funny!!!!

To the people that have had SPD im feeling for ya, to the people that havent and are struggling to understand the pain, the only way i can describe it is like going for a lengthy bike ride, on an old bikeseat and when youve finished you get the bruised achey stinging feeling all underneath your lady parts, thats how it is constantly with SPD, at a minimum, the pubic bone feels bruised and sometimes cracks-which is beautiful. The most pain is in the middle of the night when i need to pee and the bladder is pushing down on the bone.And i shuffle off to the loo (where i seem to spend half of my life lol) and sit there for ages going ' ahhhhhhhhhhhh, thats better!'

Im totally knackered though recently, like for the past 2 weeks, i have even brought forward my maternity leave by two weeks, so instead of me leaving on the 1st Oct -DD 23rd oct- I now leave on the 19th Sept purely because i feel that i need to rest properly and prepare myself physically and more than anything mentally for the arrival of my boy. My BP is SKY high, i was on pre eclampsia watch due to rise of BP but luckily i dont have that, but i think theres only so much that my body can take before its shatters altogether.

I work full time and dont finish till 7.30pm, and i dont drive so its three hours travel a day to work and back on two buses, so thats seriously taking its toll too. Not sleeping properly because of peeing, and discomfort and everything that comes along naturally with pregnancy, but also i have to sleep with pillow inbetween legs to align the hips and keep pubic bone corrected,but the other night i must have kicked it out and i woke up laid open legged, got outta bed and it cracked like nobodies business, the worst pain that i have even had from this condition. Cried, shuffled off to bathroom and sat on loo crying even more.

Its bizarre, the reason for me having to close my legs now is because i didnt close my legs in the first place....anyone sense irony????!!!Lol.

Im sooo tired its untrue.

I didnt intend for this to be a rant, but i feel better for writing it out, as i dont think i can chew my blokes ear off anymore about the pain and frustration, bless him.

x x x