17-6-2009 - when it rains it pours

My mood while writing this blog: bottle of emotions

I have to say this last week has been a rough one for me. I know no one wants to really here about my problems but I feel if I can just get them off my chest I might feel better. So week before last my brother and SIL get taken to jail (not the first time) So their kids are placed with family. My brothers kids, the youngest 2 are placed with my mom, the oldest, she had before my brother met her, are with their dad. Well in the last year Ive been trying to reconnect with my dad, whom has lived within a 5 mile radius all my life but never bothered to see me, even now hes only been to my front door. He asks me to bring all the kids down to have a birthday party for my nephew. So I did, once the court house had closed he tells me that he went and took custody of the kids and that I cant take them home. Not my DD but my brothers kids. And like the giant pussy he is, he makes me call my mom. Which nearly destroyed her, he basically stole the kids by telling the judge that no one was caring for them and that they had not been placed in a home. This was very up setting to me, you'd have to know what he did to me as a child to complete understand, but when I was young a judge told him "he'd never make me go back to his house!" So I ended up having contractions, went to hospital, was given brethine (spelling?) and sent home on bed rest. Mom got the kids back the next day, so now they're safe again. Then my air conditioner goes out! So I still have no air. Yesterday I went back to the dr and surprise my BP was up, after laying on my side it came down. I did my sugar test as well. Everything else was ok at the appointment. Then this morning they call and I failed my sugar test. So now I gotta do the 3 hour test. On top of all this I find out this morning that my best friend that Ive had since 5th grade has passed away. We'd tried to reconnect but never did, since I had a family and she didnt. Plus she was still battling addiction. As of right now they are saying a brain aneurysm, but wont know for sure till after the autopsy. This has been really hard for me. I hate that this is what is bringing my group of friends together again for the first time in years. It just makes me realize that time is not guaranteed to us.

Thanks to anyone who reads this I just needed to get this off my chest, I still have a few rough days ahead of me. The funeral will be very rough, I cant imagine what her family is going through. Please keep her family in your prayers. She would have been 27 on Oct 18th.