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08-10-2008 - betrayed

My mood while writing this blog: cry baby

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I am going through the most trying time with my daughters father. I mean I have been through so much with him and it is really taking such a huge toll on my heart. I love him so much, i swear I do but it's so hard for him to see it and I just want to give up but i don't know how to completely walk away. If he ever needs me, I am always there for him despite what he has done to hurt me in the past. For instance, he barely talks to me but given he does see his daughter so that has never been the issue, it has always been the way he treats me. This weekend he wanted to go to South Carolina, we went down south and as usual we have such a great time chillin' and being with his family. But then when we get back down home, he totally ignores me and just tells me that me calling and texting him is causing problems in his relationship blah blah blah and he loves her so he needs for me to leave THEM alone because I am making him unhappy. Keep in mind we were down south and we spent two days in the hotel, eating..sleeping...sexing together. He didn't have any money so ofcourse I paid for everything which i didn't mind because it has always been if he need it, then i will always be there for him. He ask me for a large sum of money which equaled to 800 dollars and I gave it to him and so on the weekend went on with him being so nice. I get back home and he is texting em asking em why would i want to have a baby and he doesn't want any more kids..i am trying to break hima nd his girl up which honestly i never was aware he had a girl but as i see they are supposidly really serious which truly shocks the hell out of me. I was so frustrated that I just stop responding to him text because it was just hurting me the way he was talking about he loves her, and she is more than I ever was to him blah blah blah and i was just crying trying to get my daughter dressed for daycare this morning and me ready for work. I have done more for him than i ever should.....drove 8 hours to bail him out of jail (1st offense), he totaled my car (had to get a new one), drove 8 hours when his dad left him in sc, bailed him out of jail (second offense), given him money numerous times even when he wasn't deservant and I was scraping pennies together. All the shoes and clothe sthat he has is all of what I have bought. Supposidly all this time he has had a girlfriend since April or May and I have just been palying the fool. It hurt that he would do that to me but he did. And to be honest I never ask him for anything, I just want him to be there for me like i am there for him which is emotionally. Whenever he is in a bind I am there picking up the pieces and he just throws that out of the window and tell me to leave him alone. I am so happy to be pregnant but i don't know how dumb i am going to look having a baby by someone who probably won't even come to the hospital to even claim his child. He tells this girl I am crazy and childish and I am just trying to break them up. She doesn't know how he pops up at my crib to spend the night, or how we take vacations together or the simple fact that I am pregnant. He puts everybody in front of me and he doesn't see anything that I do right. I can give him the world and he still looks like its not enough. After this weekend, i thought maybe he would see but its still the same thing and now i am just feeling betrayed, played and just hurt.

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10 Comments on betrayed


iyanni lashari amor - Thursday, 9 Oct
the most i can say i know you love him but f him let him move on with that other girl you need and deserve more.that him be someone else problem.

dc_finest82 - Wednesday, 8 Oct
i guess in my heart i wish that he would just come around and realize the family that he has always had and how much i have been here for him but at this point, all you ladies words are true and there is no truning around for someone who continues to use me the way he does. thank you ladies....i just had to really vent.

~S~ - Wednesday, 8 Oct
the loser is just using you for money and sex! you need to stop contact with him unless its to do with your daughter. I cant believe how much you have done for someone who is treating you so badly. you need to sort yourself out!

Julianna - Wednesday, 8 Oct
I know how difficult this is for you, and you MUST end the relationship now. You need to file for child support and come up with a custody/visitation agreement. All he is doing is using yoiu for the money. I am sure that it is hard for you to stop seeing him because you love him, but you have to ask yourself , "Why do I love him?" You have every right to be hurt & feel betrayed. Since he can't seem to, YOU need to put yourself first. Cast him aside to "play" with his "girl". If either of you meant anything to him he would neverhave gone on the trip with you. He respects noone. Sorry I got a little harsh at the end. i have a really hard time with men who use women!

Anesha - Wednesday, 8 Oct
You are such a generous and sweet person. It is obvious that you are the type of woman who gives her all in a relationship. Unfortunately this man does not deserve your all nor is he worthy of all that you do for him. Please stop giving him money and being there for him. I BEG YOU! You do not owe him anything. He can be a great father without you doing these things for him. I know you love him but if you cut the cord you will not be in love with him much longer. You have got to let go. I do not see another option. He felt so guilty after your trip that he is texting you telling you that he loves his girlfriend. I know that had to be painful. Do not keep putting yourself through this pain. I know you are not a glutten for punishment. You deserve and can have a man that is worthy of your all if you let this one go. He does not appreciate all that you do for him either. The weekend trip with all the sexing was just wrong. He should not feel that he can have the good good and not be in a relationship with you. He knows that you have feelings for him. You said that it is hard for him to see it but he does because he knew that you would sleep with him and told you that you are trying to break his relationship up. Therefore he knows that you have strong feelings for him. It sounds like he uses you over and over again. Do not expect him to be there for you as you are not in a relationship with him any longer. The only thing you should expect is for him to be a father to your children and that is all. I am sorry that you have been treated this way because I can tell from this blog that your heart is so pure and almost innocent like. You have invested a lot in him over the years but don't invest anymore. Let go and cut your losses. Otherwise he is going to suck the life out of you. You gave your all and it is not enough for this vampire. You don't need someone like this in your life. You are such a beautiful giving woman and you deserve so much better than this. It is his loss. You need some space from him. Is he allowed to simply pick up his daughter and leave? He does not need to be hanging around the house lingering and vice versa. You need to write a list of reasons why you are better off without him and read it over and over everytime you feel weak. I can start the list for you; #1 You will have more money in your pockets without him. #2 He is a user #3 He does not truly love you because love does not feel like this #4 He is a manipulator #5 You can do better than him #6 You will be happier person without him in your heart. #6 He is a cruel heartless individual, etc...........

MrsSilva - Wednesday, 8 Oct
to your comment below mine:

He is turning away from you, so why would you want to help him, let him go to his little girlfriend for the help he needs. You have enough to think about (your children) to be worring if he's ok, or what he needs, bailing him out of jail!

You should just avoid him at all cost. Save yourself the greef.

I went through something similar a few years back, I didn't listen to anyone, well he ended up abusing my physically. He then went to jail and I got a restraining order never saw him again. A 5 year relationship down the drain! But also the best thing that could have happened I have the most amazing husband and beautiful baby girl. My point is... life will go on with out him, and you WLL live a better life! it mught be tough in the begining but in the long run, you will be thankfull!

MrsSilva - Wednesday, 8 Oct
WOW! Hey girly just my oppinion, It's time to lose this guy! Trust me it's not worth the stress. Not to mention that you don't want your daughter and un born child to be brought up thinking that it's ok to treat women like that. You know what I mean? I know it's hard to walk away with all the time you have invested, and soon to be two kids. But you can do this, ya alone for a while, but you will find someone that will worship the ground you walk on and give as much as you give. (instead of take, take, take) And someone that will take in your kids and love them like their own. THAT"S WHAT YOU DISERVE ! By all means I'm not telling you what to do, again it's just a suggestion! As your, well... internet friend I want the best for you and the babies!

Good luck girly I hope you make the right decision! :) tty soon.

dc_finest82 - Wednesday, 8 Oct
I completely understand but it is harder then it seems to just let go because I am not a mean person and i genuinely care about him. Its hard for me to turn away when someone is in need. I know i have to because i am having another child and I can't keep letting him take so much out of me. It is not the money, it is more the way he makes me feels as if what i do is not enough.

its lucy baby - Wednesday, 8 Oct
omg girl u shouldnt be going thru all that i mean that stuff u o for ur teenagers that be acting out and alf of us parent wont even do that for our kid just let them learn there lesson bail them outta jail. i mean i know u have feelin for him but sometimes u have to let somethings b i went thru the same thing growing up with my mom my mom had me and my 2 younger sister she dated guys like that tht she had to do more for them then wat they didn for her and then they fucked up n the end and act like they didnt care about all the stuff she was doing for them n doggin her out in front of they friends or family and really all that did was make us mad me and my sis it was hard growing up in that type of environment n really confusing on my sister since they were so young really wenit come down to it u have to look out for ur kid and think about how it is affecting them or how it will for them to see a man that treat there mommie like that i seen my mom cry so many time itim sure it urt for a chld to see mommie cry love is strong but in the end its up to u to look out for ur self and ur kid and if he dont wanna change u gotta do wat u gotta do and for us women that is soo hard i hope u dont take anything the wrong way im just trynna help form the experinces that i went thru seeing my mom cry

kaharris05 - Wednesday, 8 Oct
The best thing to do now is stop the cycle. End the "relationship" and stop letting him use you. Don't give him money, don't have sex with him, don't hang out with him. If you haven't already, go to court to set up child support. After that, he should be nothing more than your children's father.