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31-7-2009 - So ready!

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

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Im so ready for our little guy to be born. I am so uncomfortable. I never got this way with my daughter. He is so strong already, I cant imagine how he will be as he gets bigger. In the mornings I am woken not by my 18 month old, but by REALLY strong kicks that shake my body so hard that it shakes my bed. He kicks all day long and all night. The only time I dont feel him is when IM sleeping. I have to be careful when I get out of bed to go to the bathroom because if I move too much it wakes him and then I cant go back to sleep.
Im also starting to get upset with my doctor and dread going to my next appointment because I know IM going to be in trouble. Last appointment he told me I need to start counting calories because clearly Im not eating enough. I had "only" gained 13 as of my last appointment. To me... that's great! I only gained 12 with my daughter and now IM up to 15. I have always been a small person and have always had a hard time putting on weight. Plus considering all the stress that is going on right now Im happy that im not losing weight. I have to run around with my 18 month old climb up and down stairs all day, so its no wonder Im not gaining a lot! Just trying to keep up with her is a total work out! Plus my husband is in the field for 3 weeks so i get to do it all by myself.
Now for the fun part. We've known that my husband was going to deploy basically all year. I never wanted to talk about it for fear that I would totally break down and not be able to stop. Well finally 3 weeks ago I decided it was time to face it since it is coming up. He will be advanced party so he will be leaving in Sept. Plus as i mentioned before he is training for 3 weeks at another base so I wont see him until August 15 then he gets 15 days of leave to spend with us before he starts training then leaves. The whole morning i would cry on and off at the thought of him now being here or god forbid something happening to him. Then I get a phone call from him a few hours later saying that he might not go. WTF! They're cutting his company in half and only taking one half, the CO, and another officer. Since my husband is XO he will not be going. Im so relieved, except now this brings on a whole new problem. He will have been in the marines for 8 years( plus the next 3 years are a non deployable billet so 11 years) without a deployment and his chances of advancing in rank are very small. It's very upsetting to watch him go through all of his training plus training his guys and knowing that he is AMAZING at his job and its all for nothing. If you were going to war this is the guy you want with you. HE is pretty much the perfect Marine.
It makes it so hard to be happy about him not going when he is so upset about it. I know he needs this deployment and would be ok with it if it was just after our son was born. Im finding myself praying that our son comes a few weeks early and that my husband gets this deployment.
Im sorry I know this is a long rant and I thank you guys for reading. I hope everyone if having a happy pregnancy and for those TTC baby dust.

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1 Comments on So ready!


princessw - Friday, 31 Jul
I know what you mean about being ready! I am 34 weeks and am getting pains in places that I never got with my son. I am not sure what to say about your hubbie maybe deploying, maybe not. My husband has never gone to Iraq, but wants to go. I hope all works out well for you...