dinahmite425's I-am-pregnantblog

dinahmite425
	Age: 30 Country: usa Province/region: georgia City: Partner: my husband Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: registered nurse
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 643 days ago. Member since: 1180 days
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31-5-2009 - im very depressed

My mood while writing this blog:
sad

i really need as much advise as I can get so please comment on this blog... and please be honest so say what ever you feel.

I moved to Atlanta Ga in 2005 from Los Angeles Califoria.. at the time i was excited and happy to move to a new place for a new life well 5 months after getting to atlanta i met my husband. Very soon after we were married I began to get depressed from time to time and new that I really did not want to live my life out in Atlanta Ga... My husband has very few family here just a sister and brother thats it.. and its sad to say they are very shady and dont come around often and they are not very family oriented people so needless to say on holidays ie forth of july, memorial day, labor day etc we ususally have NO VISTORS and NO WHERE TO VISIT!!!!! i get so lonely and I just crawl in to a ball and cry my eyes out because when i call my family in CALi they are always getting to gether and having barbeques and parties etc like last week memorial day my family in CALi had a barbeque with about 50 people it lasted like 9 hours!!! Ladies I hate it here I just cant take it!!!! Just today I cried about 5 times balling crying I Just had AMANI and no one in my family has yet to meet her and it is killing me because her face and features are changes day by day and it hurts so bad that my mom and sisters will never really know what she looked like last week or the week before.. I love my husband and I know it is not his fault i moved to ATL but in CALI I have 4 sisters 2 new nephews that are 5 months and 7 months my mom dad 8 uncles aunts cousins friends!!! here in ATL all my husband has is a bitchy sister and a brother who is to him self his mother past away in 2006 and his dad lives in Alabama 4 hours away... my husband does not even have a lot of friends here mainly just one good friend whom i dont really care for!!!! this sucks but Me and my husband have talked about this and he tells me we will move and he will look for a job.. im a nurse so there is no problem with me finding a job in cali s so im waiting on him but when he tells me we will move he never looks for a job out there and when i ask him he just gets mad or says oh i will!!! last year we even put our house up for sale!!!! can you believe that and of course he never really looked for a job out there!!!! he gets along great with my family and he has lots of fun in cali he has better relationships with my sisters than his sister so i dont know why he is stalling!! I love him but Im getting to the point where i just want to leave with or without him...!!! I feel like he wont take me serious unless i did just get up and go!!! and i know many people think Cali is so expensive but honestly i was born and raised there and my family is doing better and has more going for themseleves than everyone in my husbands family here... the house prices have dropped dramaticly and i did not live in hollywood or anything just a normal suburb of LA so i can buy a very nice house for the high 200,000's to high 300,000's and when i say nice i meen like 4 bed 2-3 baths 2900 + sq foot so to me cali is normal and very nice to live great schools the schools here in ga suck, its racist, country, extra hot and no beaches.... and no family support!!!

Should i just leave without my husband to California? I cant keep begging him to leave, he always will say okay then i get my hopes up and tell my family and then nothing ever happens!!!! I feel stuck!!! i love my husband and hate my life!!!! can that even be possible!!! help me please and sorry if anyone from Ga is reading this dont mean to offend anyone who loves GA... also i have tried to comprimise with my hubby i asked if we could move to a different part of GA where i think it is nicer and I even said we could move to the DC area where his aunt lives all of this he turned down... he doent care how i feel im truly miserable and slipping into a deep depression!

16 Comments on im very depressed

daddy 2nd time - Saturday, 6 Jun
Hey imo i think you should just go at the end of the day it is for your own and childrens benefits, you need more than your husbands support right now. i live in ireland and have kinda the same problem i moved from dublin to navan co meath 2yrs ago and i got really depressed that i could not see my friends and family but i thought that i was being selfish because i should have been happy that i got my house with my partner and daughter it caused a lot of arguements and pain but we worked through it and i hope you do too

tasha1977 - Wednesday, 3 Jun
I think you need to have a long top with your husband and let him know how you feel. Discuss moving back to Cali with him and see where it goes. I know he's said that before, but let him know that you are thinking of moving back to Cali without him.

firsttimemom8122 - Tuesday, 2 Jun
OMG girl I feel your pain, l need to visit you while I'm here in Atlanta and give you a hug and show you some Love, I totally forgot you lived here!

baby aryanna - Monday, 1 Jun
I feel the same way you do. All my family is in Detroit and I'm in Florida and I miss them like crazy on the holidays. I moved to Florida about a year before I met my husband and in the beginning it was like spring break everyday but now since I'm married with children its no longer fun. It hurts me to know that my family will never truly be close with my children bcuz they only see them about 2 times a year. My husband is from Brazil and came to the US 7 years ago with his mom and sister so he has no family here either. Just like you, on the holidays we're either with his friends or just home by ourself. It is lonely but I know my kids will be happier in Florida then in Detroit and I know they need they're Dad so I'm willing to stay in Florida for them. If your husband really don't want to move to LA he should stop playing games and be completely honest with you and maybe you two can compromise on something a little closer like VEGAS!! But I think leaving him would be a decision you would regret.

My5Babies:) - Sunday, 31 May
We live in wyoming...all of our family is in Michigan. I know EXACTLY how you feel when holidays come areound. I also get really sad. We cannot move back to Michigan due to the economy and job circumstances. He has a GREAT job here....all I can say is that i know how you feel. I know that isn't much advice. Sorry.

BlackRussian - Sunday, 31 May
I dont think you should up and leave without him, but you should most definately let it be known that YOU WILL if he doesnt take your feelings seriously. Tell him exactly how for real you are and if the reponse gets you absolutely no where, pack some stuff and get a plane ticket and then see how he reacts. I think once he sees how important it is to you, he will realize what he has to do and search for a job out there.

Stevens0204 - Sunday, 31 May
hmmm thats a tough one??? I don't think it is right to threaten him. (you taking his kids away) that might not be a good idea but try to do it some other way. Like give a certain amount of time. Like tell him you are giving you guys 6 months to find new jobs and house in cali. If you find a job first then you can go and get things set up while he still searches for a job. don't make it seem like you are telling him its your way or no way??? Goood luck

mommylove01 - Sunday, 31 May
all I can say is let god guide u. I hope u make the right desicion ur place is with ur family.

supaflychick1982 - Sunday, 31 May
I too am like you and come for a big family that is kind of tight knit. A couple of years ago I contemplated moving away from NY but I realized that I was trying to escape my problems and run. I would consider moving one day but it won't be rushed. Is there something or things that are stressing you out and you want to run. You seem very stable so why not surprise your family and visit them with or without hubby to help in your homesickness?

Phoenix39 - Sunday, 31 May
Yeah, I can't really comment either. I find lots of men are home boys and like to stay in the area they grew up in or that they are familiar with. Really, the other girls here are right and you should talk to your man about your depression and tell it now is the time to go if you two are serious about the move.

I moved here to the city to better my life as a single mom and succeeded, if I could get a job transfer back to the country I would definitely go, but there are not many opportunities back there. I love the convience of the city where everything is close to you and many more options for kids. The crime rate here is crazy and I am nervous to let my older child walk to the mall with her friends, I am very protective of her and her friends tell her how mean I am that I don't allow her to do much that involves freedom and I caught her today rolling her eyes explaining to a friend that I wouldn't allow her to do something. I will speak with that friend's mother because I am tired of her being asked to do stuff that I do not feel 10 or 11 yr olds should be able to do and it is always her daughter suggesting this stuff and I am the mean mom that always says no.

greenmommy - Sunday, 31 May
I know exactly how yo feel my whole family is in Virginia and I have no family here. My husband wont move either. we are stuck here in Texas it seems.

mizzkeisha - Sunday, 31 May
I agree with drod. I also have a question. What if you two moved back to Cali, and after a year or so, he felt the same way about Cali that you do about Georgia and wanted to move away from Cali? Would you be willing to just pack your stuff, move away from family, and move with him to wherever he wanted to go? I just ask cause marriage has to be a two way street. So you really have to think about it as if the shoe were on the other foot? Either way, its a hard decision because its not good for you to be depressed, but moving there may make him depressed. Anyhoo, good luck with your decision!!

Sanda03 - Sunday, 31 May
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling that bad.my situation is much worse then yours but i feel happy with my family.I live in New Zealand for 5 years and English is my second language and i do not have no one except my hubby and my kids and over there in Europe i have family mum and dad and brother and niece and lots of cousins but all of them are on the other part of the world and i need 8000$ just for tickets to go and see them all.But i was very sad in the begining of my arrival here but now my kids are on first place and i must be happy and healthy for them.Think positive how life can be much worse then yours is at the moment.I wish you all the best and want to hear positive things from you next time.And i know your feeling but you must be strong for your lovely kids.Hope will feel better soon.

drod - Sunday, 31 May
I'm sorry that you are feeling sad. Please remember that things could be much worse. Why did you leave Cali in the first place? If I remember clearly you wanted a change and a partner. Well now you have a loving partner and a new baby. I don't think now is the best time for this drastic change plus it should be a family decision. I think your hubby is scared of what the change will bring. In fact, most of us are afraid of change but for men it can be even harder because they don't usually adjust as easily as we do. So they prefer to stick with the evil they know. I also think he may feel out numbered in LA. While you will have many family members he will have only you and the kids. I think you and the family should take a trip to LA and scout out the possibilities. You can also tell your hubby that if he doesn't want to leave LA he should let the family visit each major holiday. You need to "appear" reasonable. My husband did not want to leave New York. I told him that as soon as I was done with grad school, I would live in China if he wanted me to. Now I'm done with school and he is even more settled in CT than I am. I'm not sure an ultimatum is the best thing for you. Maybe you should let him see how he would gain from the move. For my hubby, he got to work in the field of his choice, a big back yard and old friends of his own. While my mom and sisters live in the same State, I made sure they were at least 15 minutes away so that my hubby would not be overwhelmed by them and we would run our own house. I hope you feel better soon. :)

Anesha - Sunday, 31 May
Sorry 2 hear u r going through this honey :( It sounds like you have made it very obvious to your DH that you are seriously miserable. I would go to him tonight and tell him you are looking for a home/temporary apartment ASAP in Cali. He can begin looking for work now and keep looking if necessary after you get there. I agree that when you marry you are no longer 2 but 1 so you should leave together imo. He needs to know the seriousness of the situation and I think he has if he has seen you crying. I LOVE holidays too and know how you feel about the barbecues and especially Thanksgiving. b4 I got married I used to get depressed on holidays cuz I only have 2 sisters myself but my Dh has so much family and now I am in heaven with all the family get togethers so trust me I know how you feel. I also like your other friends suggestion to go out there for a couple weeks with DH so he can become familiar and accustomed to the area cuz we dont want him to leave his home and get miserable either. Here's a ((((BIG HUG)))) from someone who understands.

porscheg - Sunday, 31 May
I'm sorry you are feeling so down, but I honestly believe that this is going to be a decision that you and your hubby are going to have to make together. You guys are a team I dont think just leaving would be the answer. I know that it was hard for you to start over in GA but could he be having those same fears of starting over in CALI? With the new baby, the support of family would be nice, so since you are on maternity leave, maybe a couple weeks trip to cali with you and the baby (and with hubby if he can go too) to be around family for a little while will make you feel better. A move is something that takes a lot of thought so maybe just a getaway (for now) will make you feel better. Don't be so sad deary you have a beautiful daughter to be happy for!

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