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03-11-2008 - They're Here!!

My mood while writing this blog: Tired

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So, on Oct.14th I was admitted to the hospital for my induction. We got started and about half an hour into the induction (using the drip) they turned it off. Turns out an emergency multiple birth had rolled into the OR. A lady was having her quints at 29 weeks. Needless to say I was okay with the decision to stop the induction as her situation was much more pressing. We decided to wait until the following day to continue the induction.

Oct. 15th rolls around and the doctor comes in to tell me that they will not proceed with the induction since the NICU was full due to the quints and a nearby city had an outbreak in their NICU so the babies were moved to our city. If one of my babies needed a respirator there wouldn't be one for her. They discussed air lifting us to another city to deliver but my doctor thought I should be okay to wait since my babies weren't in any danger. That evening I went into labour myself (of course)!! We discussed that if one of my babies did need the respirator then we would be air lifted - very scary but at this point I couldn't stop it.

Oct. 16th was spent in labour and late into the day I was given my epidural. I was so scared of it but it actually wasn't that bad. We had a few scares as my little baby's heart rate was dropping a lot so the nurses would rush in, turn me to my side and give me oxygen. It happened a few times but we held out as I was dialating more and more. I spend hours on my left side just listening to her heart rate. My epidural wore off so they had to top me off early on Oct. 17th. Finally I hit 10 cm so we rolled into the OR at 5:30am.

Oct. 17th 6:07am Abbey Dawn was born weighing 3lb 15oz and at 6:30am Aida Margaret was born weighing 6lbs. Abbey was taken to the NICU but did not require oxygen. Aida came up to our room for our 3 night stay in the hospital.

We took Aida home on Oct. 20th but Abbey had to stay in the NICU for a few days longer. We took her home on Oct. 23rd.

It's been a hard transition into our new lives. The girls sleep and eat well and have gained 7 oz each in one week. I have been battling with my emotions and have finally seen the doctor. I have been diagnosed with post partum depression. I cry a lot, feel lonely (even though everyone is around all the time), have anxiety where I make myself sick, have no appetite, sleep is hard to come by and I can't smile or laugh anymore. I have been put on medication but it's only been a few days so it hasn't helped just yet. I can't wait to feel like myself again. I realize my life will never be like it was before but I need to be able to be happy again. I feel as though I'm missing out on this part of my babies lives.

We have had so much help from our families - from cleaning to meal making to feeding to support. My hubby and I had our first outing last Saturday and it was nice to get out of the house for awhile.

Sometimes I don't brush my teeth or get out of my PJ's. I haven't put my contact in for awhile now. I am a hermit and don't want visitors or phone calls. I can't even show them off because I can't handle the constant visitors - we had to ask people not to come over just yet.

My hubby has been understanding (even though he doesn't understand) and very supportive. He's going through huge changes too. But we're finally in the same bed again so that helps.

Anyways, day by day - feeding by feeding. Today is my first day alone with the girls. It's a struggle but we'll make it through.

I have added some pictures of my little angels. Talk to you all soon!!

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6 Comments on They're Here!!


sleepymomma - 20 hours ago
I am sorry. I had post partum depression, too. I know how hard it it and it feels like you are in a black hole that goes on oforever and you will never be able to get out. Believe, it does get better. Thank God for medication. Are you feeling any better yet? I pray that you start to feel better so you can enjoy those beautiful babies!

busybeemom - Wednesday, 5 Nov
Awe, mama! HUGS!!! You will feel better. Just look at those sweet babies and think of how blessed you are. Lots of people don't even get one and you had 2 in one shot. Hugs and smiles! I'm praying for you.

Jeanette B. - Wednesday, 5 Nov
Congrats on your beautiful babies:)

JenU - Tuesday, 4 Nov
Talk about drama! You will have a story to tell the girls when they grow up! Congratulations!

sailorsbabybump - Monday, 3 Nov
Congrats!! I know how it feels to not feel great after having twins. The first few weeks after my girls came I was soooo emotional. I was crying all the time, didn't want to see anyone and didn't even really like my girls. Luckily it didn't last long for me. It passed without me needing meds. I hope you start feeling better soon. Your girls are BEAUTIFUL!

Angel babies - Monday, 3 Nov
Congrats to you and your new family!!!! Sorry your having a rough start, just remember it's a phase that WILL pass. The best thing to do is talk about your feelings and not hold them back. Your lil girls are beautiful.
Best of luck to you.
How many weeks were you when you had your babies?