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17-7-2009 - Want to Enjoy

My mood while writing this blog: blah

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Being pregnant is what I wanted so bad. Now that I am I have this feeling of inevitable doom, and I don't know why. Ok, thats a lie. I do know. My hubby and I started trying just two months ago and the second month we got our wish. We only bd twice that month and both times early in my cycle. So, for some reason it seems to good to be true. I feel like since I ovulated early something could be wrong, or if I didnt ovulate early and the sperm got weak then something could be wrong. And to top it off I found out I have a UTI that is crazy uncomfortable so I am worried about that and if that could cause any damage to the baby. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy it sooo bad but am finding it hard too. I don't even want to tell anybody yet because I am so nervous. Only family knows right now and I know my hubby is so excited he wants to share the news with friends but I dont want him to yet. I probably feel this way because I found out I was preggos so early on to. Finding out when I was only 4 weeks was hard for me. I keep reading sad stories, blogs and everything I have just become obsessed and I can not relax. I WANT TO ENJOY THIS PREGNANCY. But so far I am only worried and and cry all the time. My first pregnancy was perfect so I don't know why I am so worried now. This blows!

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