28-2-2009 - I\'m Back

My mood while writing this blog: Have A Headache

I am finally back.

The week of my miscarriage has been a crazy one.

Of course you know the 14th was Valentine's Day

The 15th I had a miscarriage

The 16th was our 6mth anniversary

The 19th my beloved Chubs (Rabbit) died. He dies very slowly.

We wanted to see what he would do with bubbles. We opened his cage and normally he would jump on the open door, but he didnt. Curtis pulled him out and he was soaked on the bottom and all over his legs. We looked in his cage and noticed he had the S**ts. If you don't know rabbits and the S**ts are bad news.

I placed him on the floor and he fell to his side. I gave him a bath and normally he would move around a little bit...He did none of that. I placed him on his blanket and he was so week he couldnt move.

He did some kind of stretch and then he stopped breathing...I called Curtis over and he rubbed him and he started breathing again, but very slowly. He did that twice and the third time he was gone. I tried to rub him cuz it worked the last 2 times and I talked to him and told him to wake up and he didn't.

We burried him by a double tree in a park. I placed his cage cotton in the whole that Curtis dug and then Curtis placed him in and then I put some treats and a chew toy in there and we burried him.

That week was really hard for me. I lost my first child and lost my rabbit that I have had for 6 years. I cried. I was angry.

I dont believe in God, but I do believe in the universe and the stars....More of like what the Greek believe.

I was so angry I told my dad if there is a God then what kind of God does something like this. From losing my first child to losing my rabbit.

Chubs was the smartest rabbit that ever lived. I trained him so that he wouldn't be one of those cagged animals. He knew when he was getting fed and when he was getting a bath. He sat on the couch like any human being looking like he would be watching TV.

The last memory that we have of him was one day Curtis made some Mac & Cheese and Curtis gave me my bowl and Chubs hopped on the bed and when I wasnt looking he got into my bowl of Mac & Cheese. After Curtis came back with his bowl Chubs followed him and jumped on the couch and got into his lap and tried to get some of his. Well, Curtis pretended that he wasnt looking. Chubs did the same thing he jumped off of Curtis lap and sat next to Curtis and pretended that he wasnt doing anything. When Curtis pretended that he wasnt looking Chubs took the chance and hopped. It was so halarious.

I had to take time to myself to get through everything. I'm still not fully feeling fine, but eventually I will.

Thanks for listening.