29-7-2009 - Our Loss

My mood while writing this blog: heartbroken

Me and my partner went to hospital today for our 12 wk scan. I had been very anxious as I have had 2 previous mc. We concieved after the help of clomid after ttc for more than 12 months. Unfortunatley our baby had stopped developing at 8 wks. I was given 3 options 1st go home and wait for nature to take its course, 2nd surgery d&c, 3rd the option i chose to take a tablet. I am now at home waiting if nothing has happend by Fri a.m I shall go back to hospital and given a pessary then if nothing another tablet. The hospital have been very good becouse this is now my 3rd mc.bloods were taken from me and my partner to see if they can find any cause for the mc's. They can also test the fetal tissue if we wish. They asked us to consider how we wish to have the loss treated. We can have a little cremation or burial or just let the hospital deal with it. It's not something I was aware could be done so I have no idea what we shall do. I suppose it depends on what I see when i mc and how I feel will help us best.

We would have loved a girl and would have liked to call her India Grace, although we didn't really care either way. I didn't even want any test done because we would have loved it regardless. We weren't able to get rid of something that wasn't perfect. I hope this isn't our last chance we wont give up on hope. I have found so much support from this site and I'm sure I will in the future. Good bye my little angel I will never forget x