30-11-2008 - Another update

My mood while writing this blog: indifferent

OK so I figured I would get in another blog/ update. I lost our second baby on the 8th of November... I bled from Saturday until the following Friday. My husband was out to sea at the time but his boat pulled in and he flew home to be with me. I went back to work the Wednesday after it happened. I was affraid that if I didnt just get back out there that I never would. This time was not as bad as last time though it was extreamly hard for me to watch as I passed my baby. I guess it was just easy for me to have a D&C and for it to be done and over with. Brian didnt get back until the Thursday afterward and so I had pretty much almost been finished with bleeding and had already been back to work. It was nice having him home with me but I am kinda glad that he was not here for the first few days of it because I really just wanted to be alone... to lick my wounds in peace so to say.

Anyway, lately I have been having the feeling that I am prego again... I have had tender boobs and have had to pee 3 or 4 times in the night. I dont know if it is because I am pregnant again already or if I am just being paranoid. I have a doctors appointment on the 8th to try and convince them to test me and find out why I keep losing babies. The Naval hospital says I have to lose 5 before they will test but I am not going to lose 3 more children. These are my babies... and I will never know who they would have been or what they would have done with their lives. I cant let that happen to 3 more!