| em2 stewarts wife | |
| em2 stewarts wife has 67 days to go and is now in week 30 | |
 | Age: 22 Country: US Province/region: Virginia City: Norfolk Partner: Brian Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 21 Apr ,2012 Occupation: SAHM |
| Online: 8 days ago. Last updated: 315 days ago. Member since: 1328 days | |
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| 02-1-2009 - Being Emotional |  My mood while writing this blog:everything! |
Ok so I go through times where I am perfectly fine and then days where everything seems to be going wrong. I really hate to do it but it seems that all of my crappy days somehow get underlyingly blammed on losing the babies... I spilled juice because I lost the babies, I cant seem to do something right because I llost the babies. I go through the days where I feel like everythign is just wrong. I try so hard to be brave and strong but then there are days wher I just melt. I want my babies back so bad! I know that it seems irrational. Just because I miscarried does not mean that I am doomed to a life of mistakes and unhappy endings but sometimes I feel so hopeless. There are times when I am happy for the pregnant people in the world but I am mostly only happy if people like "us" are pregnant. By "us" I guess I mean the women who are in my situation. It angers me to see the other women pregnant. I saw another boat wife who found out she was preggo when I first found out back in June. She has this big belly and was bragging and I just wanted to punch her. I really just wanted to punch her... how can she have what was taken from me? I just dont understand it. What did I do wrong? What did she do right? She already has a little girl... why cant people like me who dont have babies already get them. I just dont understand. I want answers to questiosn that will never have answers. There is no one who can answer my questions. I just want to go back in time and start over... why cant I start over. I want to fix this but I cant. I just want this to be a dream.... make this not be real.... I want the old me back... not this half happy half angry/sad person. This is not who I am. I want to have my normal feelings back and I fear that I will never get that back.
1 Comments on Being Emotional
metsmom - Saturday, 3 Jan
So ironic you wrote this blog. Yesterday I sat and cried for the first time in weeks It was a realization of what im not having as my due date approaches. I too only get very happy when its one of "us" that announces a pregnancy. I feel like its a point for our side sometimes if that makes sense. I cant say anything to make you feel better because im in the same boat but what I can say is that hopefully our time will come and all we can do is pray and work hard to get ourselves back the way we were before the losses.
14-11-2011 - 16/17 week update
25-10-2011 - quick update!
14-9-2011 - forgot to write an update
30-8-2011 - We\'re back?
30-11-2010 - Almost 7 weeks old
18-10-2010 - SHE IS HERE
11-10-2010 - 38 weeks
04-10-2010 - 37 weeks
27-9-2010 - 36 weeks
20-9-2010 - 35 weeks
14-9-2010 - 34 weeks
06-9-2010 - 33 weeks
30-8-2010 - 32 Weeks
23-8-2010 - 31 Weeks
16-8-2010 - 30 weeks
09-8-2010 - 29 weeks
02-8-2010 - 28 weeks and 1st shower
28-7-2010 - 27 weeks, Late again....
20-7-2010 - 26 weeks (late!)
09-7-2010 - 25 weeks
28-6-2010 - 24 weeks and baby shower drama
25-6-2010 - 23 weeks
17-6-2010 - 22 weeks and Speaking to Dad again
15-6-2010 - 22 week SCAN
15-6-2010 - 21 weeks
07-6-2010 - 20 weeks
30-5-2010 - 19 weeks
21-5-2010 - 18 weeks
13-5-2010 - 17 weeks
03-5-2010 - 16 weeks
28-4-2010 - 15 weeks
19-4-2010 - 14 Weeks!
13-4-2010 - Pregnancy #5 graduated to OB clinic
07-4-2010 - Quick Update
28-3-2010 - Telling our Mom\'s
25-3-2010 - Pregnancy #5 Fifth Appointment
19-3-2010 - Aweful Dreams
12-3-2010 - Pregnancy #5 fourth appointment
08-3-2010 - Feeling paranoid
02-3-2010 - Pregnancy #5 Third appointment
24-2-2010 - Pregnancy #5 Second Ultrasound
16-2-2010 - Pregnancy #5 First Ultrasound
08-2-2010 - Pregnancy #5 ER Scare
02-2-2010 - Update on Metformin
27-1-2010 - Finally we have an answer!
03-1-2010 - Update and such
21-12-2009 - Need Strength
15-11-2009 - Great Eurotrip NOV09
02-10-2009 - Consult
08-9-2009 - HSG
14-8-2009 - One Year
05-7-2009 - I am bored
15-6-2009 - Focusing on me
23-5-2009 - Pregnancy #4 Blog(for my records)
16-5-2009 - Getting back to "normal"
12-4-2009 - Screw Courage
11-4-2009 - Being Courageous
02-4-2009 - Not my day...
24-3-2009 - Starting Over Again... again
10-3-2009 - 11 weeks (8 MORE DAYS!!!)
26-2-2009 - 9 Weeks Update
11-2-2009 - Still going strong!
02-2-2009 - Update on baby #3
01-2-2009 - The Sickness
26-1-2009 - Feeling kinda crappy
21-1-2009 - First Appointment
16-1-2009 - Even bigger what the Hell!
15-1-2009 - What the Hell!!
14-1-2009 - BFN number 2
02-1-2009 - Being Emotional
27-12-2008 - Starting Over Again
30-11-2008 - Another update
06-11-2008 - BFP!!!!!!!!!!
18-10-2008 - BFN
25-8-2008 - The Aftermath
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