| em2 stewarts wife | |
 | Age: 21 Country: US Province/region: Virginia City: Norfolk Partner: Brian Children: Pregnant: No Occupation: Navy Wife |
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18 Comments on Starting Over Again... again
oogysmommy - Monday, 1 Jun
hi my name is christy my husband matt is in the navy as well he is a Ma1 he recently returned home from a year tour in iraq. we have a 2 year old son and i recently had to have a D&C done with baby number two. I wanted to know how long it took you to get pregnant after you D&C my husband and i decided to go ahead and try again but im scared shitless. you are so brave.
autumn - Tuesday, 26 May
I am sorry for your losses... I pray that one day you have a healthy, happy, bouncing baby to love!
I realize this is your post but your statement about working mothers was harsh, and can hurt some that work. I am not a single mother, although I do work. I brought my son to daycare at 6 weeks... without myself working, my child would have gone drastically without. I took 12 weeks off with my daughter... being that we had enough money saved so that we could afford to do that. I am incredibly glad that i reproduced, and feel that I made the correct choices in sending them to daycare. You are very, very lucky that you have the ability to stay at home with your children, I unfourtunetly do not have that option... and do not feel that you should judge myself or others. you are more than welcome to your own opinions, and I hope that one day comments don't offend you... Good luck TTC & being a stay at home Mom
metsmom - Friday, 27 Mar
Damn girl! I have popped in occasionally and checked on your blog and today is sad! I am so sorry to hear about the loss. It sucks hubby is leaving right now but I agree with others that its good to take some time to just relax. Get some further testing done (which i know with the military drs is a hard task). As for the comments on daycare I understood what you were saying. I too feel that if you can stay home....stay home. This is your blog though and you can say anything you damn well please! If people dont like the comments then they need to leave and read another blog! So again im so sorry honey and believe me after losing 2 myself I know how you feel. Big hugs darlin!
minkymoo78 - Wednesday, 25 Mar
I am so sorry this happened. I dont' blame you for having a break from work. I hope you begin to feel better soon. xx
RainbowRach - Wednesday, 25 Mar
Em, I am so sorry for your loss. I didnt realise. I am glad you have taken time out of work to look after yourself.
I do disagree with your comment a little about putting babies into childcare, but I dont want to upset you further so we wont talk about it x x x I will just say that there are lots of different situations in life.
I cant imagine being alone at this time, I am so sorry your DH has to go now. You know you will get through this. I have been through 3 losses too, I hope that things work out for you next time like they did for me. Thinking of you x
Keep concentrating on you x x
fdstripled - Tuesday, 24 Mar
OMG . I am soooooooooo sorry. I don't know why God is so cruel. My heart goes out to you. I hope the Drs can find out why this keeps happening to you. We are here for you.
eves - Tuesday, 24 Mar
damn... i'm sorry sweetie, i know its easier said than done to move on and 4get i know i been through it. mayb u should try just relaxing and work on YOU for a lil while. if u wanna talk just let me know. i'll b close to ur area i a few months, mayb we can get 2gether w/o my kids if thats still botherin by then again i'm so sorry
tonysmommy - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I have seen a few of your posts over the past few months..I just read your story. I am so sorry..I know you must hear that a lot, but I still felt the urge to say it. I struggled with the desire to be a parent and was unable to be for quite some time. I was blessed with my healthy son last April. It was my 4th pregnancy...I hope you believe that there is a plan for all of us...sometimes it seems unfair and I know I felt forgotten for a long time. My time finally came. Yours will too. Just try to remember that. I pray that all goes well for you and that your husband stays safe while deployed
aussiegirl80 - Tuesday, 24 Mar
My heart really goes out to you, and I think that it is a good thing for you to take time off from working. It will be hard being away from your husband, but sometimes we really do have strenghth to get through these things that we never thought that we could. I really hope that the doctors can give you some answers in the mean time so then when dh comes home you can ttc with the odds in your favour :) By the way, I totally agree with pinkmamma, good on you girl for sticking up for em - we all ment to be supporting her, this is not the time for those sort of comments.
Mommy2anArmyBrat - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I am so sorry Ems. i know how you feel. my husband deployed right after my surgery. i didnt think i would make it with out him i thought my depression would eat me alive. But it suprisingly didnt.. Sometimes you have to leave it to faith. thats all i had left. i suredid have my family. but its not the same. mine happend before christmas too. so i opened up ALOT of baby presents and i told my parents i was fine.. i cried my heart out alone in my room.. worse christmas ever!
If you ever need to takl i am here. i know exactly how you feel.
wyattsmommy - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Oh hun my heart sank when I saw the title of your blog I clicked on it hoping it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be. I am so sorry I don't even have words....I am sorry that your DH is being deployed I can imagine how hard that is going to be. When I had my miscarriage back in August and had to have the methorexate injection we weren't allowed to TTC for several months and they went by really fast I was to depressed by not even being able to try for months! But like a few other ladies on here said that will give you time to get the Dr.s find out whats going on and why you keep losing your babies. I understand your comment about working moms while I understand some women do not have an option esp. in today economy! I know a few that are the type you are refering to and yes that is sad they don't realize how truly blessed they are. I am so glad DH and I decided to do without "the extra's" in life for awhile so I could be a stay at home mom. Again I am so sorry for your loss if you need someone to talk to you know we are all here for you..and like I said 6 months seems like forever but as i've experienced it goes by fast so keep your chin up hun things will work out for you....
sindi-and-justin - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Big HUGS!!!! I am sorry for what you are going through... But I agree with these ladies.. Within six months you should be healed and ready as ever to ttc again. In the interim you should find out what is happening!!!! All the best! Take Care
cbanks - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Em,
I can only imagine what you are going through right now mourning the loss of another baby and knowing that your husband is getting ready to deploy for 6 months. I know it doesn't seem like it, but maybe this time will be good for you. Stay on the dr.'s and make them figure out what's wrong so when Brian gets home you can start the beautiful family you so deserve. I am merely a Navy girlfriend and I know my baby's father deploying is going to kill me. You will be in my prayers as always if you ever need to talk or just want to grab dinner or something I'm always close by.
obscurette - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Em,
I agree with Shaw about getting those doctors to figure out what is exactly happening. they have a few months now to do it and I am hoping soo badly for you that the next time you get pregnant you have a healthy and happy 9 month baby.
I am also glad you are taking time from work. please feel free to continue raving at the world. to scream, to cry, to mourn your loss. in fact come to england and we can do it together!! ;) ( I am still trying not to get a "real" job..hhehe
what you have lived through is horrible, painful and devastating. you have been so very strong and unfortunately the cards are saying that you have to be strong still. it's hard to believe but it will happen for you. you will get your dreams and wishes in a wondrous happy bundle of baby. in fact we all will.
I wish the time would fly for you. take care of yourself, let yourself grieve, give yourself some time.
if you ever need to chat I am here.
*hugs*
shawshoo - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I'm so sorry Ems. Life is so unfair sometimes. This totally sucks, and I'd be a mess if my hubby were gone as well. I like to look at the positive side of things (or a least try), so this is what I'm gathering for you.
1) You are young and time is on your side.
2) You have six months for the doctors to figure out what the hell is happening inside and why you are losing your babies. Hopefully they can figure it out in that time period, and when he gets home you'll know what needs to happen in order for you to carry a baby to term. And with all the bding you'll be doing to catch up on six months worth, I'm sure you'll get a BFP in no time.
Hang in there babe.. hugs
pinkmama - Tuesday, 24 Mar
i personally feel the last comment was a little harsh. this poor woman has just lost another baby- and she is allowed to speak her mind.. as this is HER blog. this has nothing to even do with me.. and it angered me to read this post. i worked daycare for a very long time, and some of the people that brought their kids to daycare hardly cared about them at all. i felt like i watched their children more than they did.. and while i do understand that people have to work to support their family.. i HIGHLY doubt that is what she was writing her blog about. just because her husband is in the navy, does not mean she is just reaping the benefits.. i dont think it makes you immature at all, to write that Em... i think she was immature to comment back like that--- it was hard for me, to deal with losing this last pregnancy.. i cannot even imagine having to go thru all that you have.. keep your head up, and keep smiling.. you will be the greatest mommy when the time comes, i just know it! all my best, and baby dust baby dust baby dust =o)
mamalvs4 - Tuesday, 24 Mar
i feel for you honey, good luck with the upcoming deployment, i think you will be suprised just how strong you can be, as an EX army wife i had to endure 12-16 month deployments......keep yourself busy it was my saving grace.
However .....As a working mother that had no choice but to go back to work after 8 weeks of maternity leave, or risk me and my family losing our place or food on our table, i feel like i have to say that your comment about 8 weeks old and daycare is very immature on extremley judgemental. while i would have loved to stay home with my babies when they were that little, our family requires two incomes as i belive many families do these days, its unfortunate that not all of us have the goverment providing us housing and food allowances, but that is the way of my life and i feel good as a mother that my baby was in very capable hands that i researched and did background checks on MONTHS before i even gave birth, and was still able to provide for my child and my family.
Im sorry you have struggled so much with TTC, my fingers are crossed for better luck next time you try, and im sure you were just blowing off steam however not all of us have the luxury of being able to stay home or quit our jobs.......concider yourself blessed to have such options
elliesmom - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I am so sorry you are so down...If you ever want to chat, I'm here for you...I wish I was closer so I could just give you a big hug....this will have to do xoxo
| 24-3-2009 - Starting Over Again... again |  My mood while writing this blog:::insert any mood here:: |
So we are again starting over. Pregnancy #3 apparently made it to about 8 or 9 weeks when the baby's heart stopped. I went for my 12 week appointment and found out the baby died and had my D&C done that day. It has been almost a week since then and I have to say I am getting really down. I quit my job because I just want to focus on me and I cant stand watching other peoples infants while they work, "Dear Working Moms, Your 8 Week Old has NO BUSSINESS being in daycare... If your career is so important to you, DONT FUCKING REPRODUCE!" Sure I understand the single working moms and all (thats obviously not who brings their children to where I worked)
Brian will be leaving soon, too soon after all of this I think. I am really worried about being alone. I really just need him... I know I have my mom and my sister but it is different. Brian is everything to me, he keeps me safe and sane and I just need him here with me. At first he was having a really hard time but he seems to be doing better which is kinda bad for me because now he is not worried about leaving but I am. He will be leaving soon for a really long time and I am just sad that I wont at least be pregnant by then. Not that I want to concieve right away, But I at least wanted the option... the option to try has been taken away with a stupid deployment. I am really worried that I wont make it through a full 6 months with out him. Especially not now.
Thats it for now I guess... Back to house work and such...
18 Comments on Starting Over Again... again
oogysmommy - Monday, 1 Jun
hi my name is christy my husband matt is in the navy as well he is a Ma1 he recently returned home from a year tour in iraq. we have a 2 year old son and i recently had to have a D&C done with baby number two. I wanted to know how long it took you to get pregnant after you D&C my husband and i decided to go ahead and try again but im scared shitless. you are so brave.
autumn - Tuesday, 26 May
I am sorry for your losses... I pray that one day you have a healthy, happy, bouncing baby to love!
I realize this is your post but your statement about working mothers was harsh, and can hurt some that work. I am not a single mother, although I do work. I brought my son to daycare at 6 weeks... without myself working, my child would have gone drastically without. I took 12 weeks off with my daughter... being that we had enough money saved so that we could afford to do that. I am incredibly glad that i reproduced, and feel that I made the correct choices in sending them to daycare. You are very, very lucky that you have the ability to stay at home with your children, I unfourtunetly do not have that option... and do not feel that you should judge myself or others. you are more than welcome to your own opinions, and I hope that one day comments don't offend you... Good luck TTC & being a stay at home Mom
metsmom - Friday, 27 Mar
Damn girl! I have popped in occasionally and checked on your blog and today is sad! I am so sorry to hear about the loss. It sucks hubby is leaving right now but I agree with others that its good to take some time to just relax. Get some further testing done (which i know with the military drs is a hard task). As for the comments on daycare I understood what you were saying. I too feel that if you can stay home....stay home. This is your blog though and you can say anything you damn well please! If people dont like the comments then they need to leave and read another blog! So again im so sorry honey and believe me after losing 2 myself I know how you feel. Big hugs darlin!
minkymoo78 - Wednesday, 25 Mar
I am so sorry this happened. I dont' blame you for having a break from work. I hope you begin to feel better soon. xx
RainbowRach - Wednesday, 25 Mar
Em, I am so sorry for your loss. I didnt realise. I am glad you have taken time out of work to look after yourself.
I do disagree with your comment a little about putting babies into childcare, but I dont want to upset you further so we wont talk about it x x x I will just say that there are lots of different situations in life.
I cant imagine being alone at this time, I am so sorry your DH has to go now. You know you will get through this. I have been through 3 losses too, I hope that things work out for you next time like they did for me. Thinking of you x
Keep concentrating on you x x
fdstripled - Tuesday, 24 Mar
OMG . I am soooooooooo sorry. I don't know why God is so cruel. My heart goes out to you. I hope the Drs can find out why this keeps happening to you. We are here for you.
eves - Tuesday, 24 Mar
damn... i'm sorry sweetie, i know its easier said than done to move on and 4get i know i been through it. mayb u should try just relaxing and work on YOU for a lil while. if u wanna talk just let me know. i'll b close to ur area i a few months, mayb we can get 2gether w/o my kids if thats still botherin by then again i'm so sorry
tonysmommy - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I have seen a few of your posts over the past few months..I just read your story. I am so sorry..I know you must hear that a lot, but I still felt the urge to say it. I struggled with the desire to be a parent and was unable to be for quite some time. I was blessed with my healthy son last April. It was my 4th pregnancy...I hope you believe that there is a plan for all of us...sometimes it seems unfair and I know I felt forgotten for a long time. My time finally came. Yours will too. Just try to remember that. I pray that all goes well for you and that your husband stays safe while deployed
aussiegirl80 - Tuesday, 24 Mar
My heart really goes out to you, and I think that it is a good thing for you to take time off from working. It will be hard being away from your husband, but sometimes we really do have strenghth to get through these things that we never thought that we could. I really hope that the doctors can give you some answers in the mean time so then when dh comes home you can ttc with the odds in your favour :) By the way, I totally agree with pinkmamma, good on you girl for sticking up for em - we all ment to be supporting her, this is not the time for those sort of comments.
Mommy2anArmyBrat - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I am so sorry Ems. i know how you feel. my husband deployed right after my surgery. i didnt think i would make it with out him i thought my depression would eat me alive. But it suprisingly didnt.. Sometimes you have to leave it to faith. thats all i had left. i suredid have my family. but its not the same. mine happend before christmas too. so i opened up ALOT of baby presents and i told my parents i was fine.. i cried my heart out alone in my room.. worse christmas ever!
If you ever need to takl i am here. i know exactly how you feel.
wyattsmommy - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Oh hun my heart sank when I saw the title of your blog I clicked on it hoping it wasn't what I thought it was gonna be. I am so sorry I don't even have words....I am sorry that your DH is being deployed I can imagine how hard that is going to be. When I had my miscarriage back in August and had to have the methorexate injection we weren't allowed to TTC for several months and they went by really fast I was to depressed by not even being able to try for months! But like a few other ladies on here said that will give you time to get the Dr.s find out whats going on and why you keep losing your babies. I understand your comment about working moms while I understand some women do not have an option esp. in today economy! I know a few that are the type you are refering to and yes that is sad they don't realize how truly blessed they are. I am so glad DH and I decided to do without "the extra's" in life for awhile so I could be a stay at home mom. Again I am so sorry for your loss if you need someone to talk to you know we are all here for you..and like I said 6 months seems like forever but as i've experienced it goes by fast so keep your chin up hun things will work out for you....
sindi-and-justin - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Big HUGS!!!! I am sorry for what you are going through... But I agree with these ladies.. Within six months you should be healed and ready as ever to ttc again. In the interim you should find out what is happening!!!! All the best! Take Care
cbanks - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Em,
I can only imagine what you are going through right now mourning the loss of another baby and knowing that your husband is getting ready to deploy for 6 months. I know it doesn't seem like it, but maybe this time will be good for you. Stay on the dr.'s and make them figure out what's wrong so when Brian gets home you can start the beautiful family you so deserve. I am merely a Navy girlfriend and I know my baby's father deploying is going to kill me. You will be in my prayers as always if you ever need to talk or just want to grab dinner or something I'm always close by.
obscurette - Tuesday, 24 Mar
Em,
I agree with Shaw about getting those doctors to figure out what is exactly happening. they have a few months now to do it and I am hoping soo badly for you that the next time you get pregnant you have a healthy and happy 9 month baby.
I am also glad you are taking time from work. please feel free to continue raving at the world. to scream, to cry, to mourn your loss. in fact come to england and we can do it together!! ;) ( I am still trying not to get a "real" job..hhehe
what you have lived through is horrible, painful and devastating. you have been so very strong and unfortunately the cards are saying that you have to be strong still. it's hard to believe but it will happen for you. you will get your dreams and wishes in a wondrous happy bundle of baby. in fact we all will.
I wish the time would fly for you. take care of yourself, let yourself grieve, give yourself some time.
if you ever need to chat I am here.
*hugs*
shawshoo - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I'm so sorry Ems. Life is so unfair sometimes. This totally sucks, and I'd be a mess if my hubby were gone as well. I like to look at the positive side of things (or a least try), so this is what I'm gathering for you.
1) You are young and time is on your side.
2) You have six months for the doctors to figure out what the hell is happening inside and why you are losing your babies. Hopefully they can figure it out in that time period, and when he gets home you'll know what needs to happen in order for you to carry a baby to term. And with all the bding you'll be doing to catch up on six months worth, I'm sure you'll get a BFP in no time.
Hang in there babe.. hugs
pinkmama - Tuesday, 24 Mar
i personally feel the last comment was a little harsh. this poor woman has just lost another baby- and she is allowed to speak her mind.. as this is HER blog. this has nothing to even do with me.. and it angered me to read this post. i worked daycare for a very long time, and some of the people that brought their kids to daycare hardly cared about them at all. i felt like i watched their children more than they did.. and while i do understand that people have to work to support their family.. i HIGHLY doubt that is what she was writing her blog about. just because her husband is in the navy, does not mean she is just reaping the benefits.. i dont think it makes you immature at all, to write that Em... i think she was immature to comment back like that--- it was hard for me, to deal with losing this last pregnancy.. i cannot even imagine having to go thru all that you have.. keep your head up, and keep smiling.. you will be the greatest mommy when the time comes, i just know it! all my best, and baby dust baby dust baby dust =o)
mamalvs4 - Tuesday, 24 Mar
i feel for you honey, good luck with the upcoming deployment, i think you will be suprised just how strong you can be, as an EX army wife i had to endure 12-16 month deployments......keep yourself busy it was my saving grace.
However .....As a working mother that had no choice but to go back to work after 8 weeks of maternity leave, or risk me and my family losing our place or food on our table, i feel like i have to say that your comment about 8 weeks old and daycare is very immature on extremley judgemental. while i would have loved to stay home with my babies when they were that little, our family requires two incomes as i belive many families do these days, its unfortunate that not all of us have the goverment providing us housing and food allowances, but that is the way of my life and i feel good as a mother that my baby was in very capable hands that i researched and did background checks on MONTHS before i even gave birth, and was still able to provide for my child and my family.
Im sorry you have struggled so much with TTC, my fingers are crossed for better luck next time you try, and im sure you were just blowing off steam however not all of us have the luxury of being able to stay home or quit our jobs.......concider yourself blessed to have such options
elliesmom - Tuesday, 24 Mar
I am so sorry you are so down...If you ever want to chat, I'm here for you...I wish I was closer so I could just give you a big hug....this will have to do xoxo
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23-5-2009 - Pregnancy #4 Blog(for my records)
16-5-2009 - Getting back to "normal"
12-4-2009 - Screw Courage
11-4-2009 - Being Courageous
02-4-2009 - Not my day...
24-3-2009 - Starting Over Again... again
10-3-2009 - 11 weeks (8 MORE DAYS!!!)
26-2-2009 - 9 Weeks Update
11-2-2009 - Still going strong!
02-2-2009 - Update on baby #3
01-2-2009 - The Sickness
26-1-2009 - Feeling kinda crappy
21-1-2009 - First Appointment
16-1-2009 - Even bigger what the Hell!
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27-12-2008 - Starting Over Again
30-11-2008 - Another update
06-11-2008 - BFP!!!!!!!!!!
18-10-2008 - BFN
25-8-2008 - The Aftermath
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