26-9-2009 - 30 Days To Go...

My mood while writing this blog: Anxious/Disbelief

So here I am one month before my due date and I can not believe that I am at this moment! I still find myself in awe that I am even pregnant, never mind I will be holding my baby in a month or so! We have been trying, hoping, praying, believing, and imagining this moment for so long. I can not believe it is actually going to happen for us, we will be meeting the baby we were meant to have soon!

We have finished our breastfeeding, infant care, and birthing courses this month. I am really hoping that breastfeeding works out for me and the baby. I am going to give it a really good go, but I am not going to stress me and the baby out if it isn't working for us.

I have so many mixed feelings about labor now that we've had our birthing course. Guess I haven't been giving it much thought. I've just been so excited and enjoying being pregnant I've forgotten I have to get this baby out, LOL!

I know I don't want IV meds. as they give us stadol at my hospital and I guess it makes you feel drunk. So first off I don't know if I want to feel like that. I want to be "with it" during this process. Second, I guess the meds make the baby feel "stoned". Which I guess is fine for baby- as long as they are inside you. If you progress quickly after it is given and the baby is born too soon doctors and nurses freak out because most of the time the baby will be too lazy to breath on his/her own. Then if you get the epidural your on bed rest, and I don't know if I want that. I'd like to be able to be ambulatory during labor. It just doesn't seem natural to me to lay in a bed when you are trying to push a baby out... downward! But the nurse showed us how she can move the bed a certain way so you are in a "toilet sitting" postition, but still in bed- which will help with gravity.

Also you can't have any meds until you are 4cm and then nothing after 8cm... geeze! I think I'm just going to hope and rely on what my body is telling me to do. I think I will probably end up with the epidural, but I have never been through this. I'm not all about "natural birth" either, because I know I have a low tolerance to pain. Dave bought me a birthing/yoga ball that we can bring with us during labor. Hopefully that'll help for the beginning stages.

So the maternity ward is really nice. We have our own private LDR rooms AND our own labor and delivery nurse. I was SO happy to hear that because she can focus on me, my needs, and I don't have to worry about her being busy with other girls! They play a lullabie through the whole hospital everytime a baby is born, awww!

I've been curious on how Dave and my relationship will change once the baby comes. It has just been us for 11 years, now we will be adding a mini us to the mix- I don't see how that could not make things even better though, LOL! But it will be trying at times and I just don't want to fall into the "Mommy Role" too much where I forget I am his wife! He will be such a wonderful Father and I can't wait to see him all mushy and have is heart melt... "not too tough anymore are you", LOL!

I finished work last Wednesday and am so glad to be able to relax and enjoy the last few weeks before the baby comes! I am hoping the time doesn't "stand still" now though! I have to try and stay busy, it is good for the body- even though I am feeling pain in my inner thighs and lower stomach. I can't complain though, I thought I'd feel worse this far along!

When I went to my OB appointment yesterday and have gained 23lbs so far and am pretty happy with, as I don't think I've gained much anywhere. Baby is head down and facing my back, but his head is cock-eyed. Because his body is ALWAYS on my right side his head is in my left pelvic area... hopefully he'll realize there is no way out over there and moves over a bit!

So I am pretty sure Dave and I are ready for baby! We have his "coming home outfit" picked out, his and my hospital bag packed, the car seats in the car (have to go to the firehouse still though), all the odds and ends, clothes washed and hung, I just have a few things to finish up in the nursery and would like to get a few more things for the hospital.

Well as you can tell I have so many mixed feelings but ultimately feel so blessed- and DJ pushing on my tummy, LOL! I just can not wait to meet the new man in my life!

Loads of luck to all the mommies, mommies-to-be, and mommies that will be!