18-11-2009 - Ex\'s/ kids the lot!

My mood while writing this blog: let down & exhausted

Oh man what a nightmare the last few days have been, here goes the story (in a nutshell)

I spilt with my oldest two childrens father nearly 8years ago, we remained on good terms & he had the children every fortnight for the weekend, Well the last few years has been hit and miss with him, sometimes he will come regular has clockwork, others times it can be a month or more..well he has been with a new partner for 2+ years and they had a baby girl last april..things have gone even further down hill since..well he let them down again recently so i phoned him (not an easy task!) and told him that something more structured had to be sorted out, the kids need stability plus they are growing up and want to spend more time with friends/other activities so it might be best if we lengthened the time between his visits, he didnt say alot in the conversation so i said think about what we are to do and phone me tomorrow..he didnt ring..i finally got a hold of him again today and he said " with the kids wanting to spend more time with their friends and what not im going to get down once a month IF I CAN! and if i have THE MONEY!"..i said ok if your sure, he says well yeah i think its best, i told him well dont commit to it,just ring me when you can make it and you can see the kids, he just said "ye ok"..he didnt fight or anything, he is to bothered about trying to make his relationship work as they are having problems (she does NOT like our kids at all, they have seen their sister for 3months!)..i thought he would have made more of an effort, i felt let down for the kids, but they have me and steve and i suppose at least now we can get them in a better routine and they know they are safe, cared for and that we will always be here, more importantly that steve is here, they call him dad and have done since we got together he wishes he was their biological dad..in a way i suppose it works out for the best..just made me mad..to be honest though i talked to my daughter and she was ok with it, she was more bothered that she could now see her best mate more!..what do you all think? is it the right thing?

THANKYOU ladies you are all so supportive, i needed to hear it from other people other than family, you have all made it make sense lol..and yes your right steve is their dad ..thanks again xxxx..love you all xxx