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02-6-2009 - Depressed

My mood while writing this blog: Depressed

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My periods have been messed up for three months now. I just got AF today and hoping this will be the month my cycle will right itself. My hormones have thrown me into a moderate depression so I went back on anti depressents today .I have lost the ability to cope with my daily problems let alone me not being pregnant and lossing hope. I finally told my DH why I am so upset and he dosen't understand me! Everyone at work is getting pregnant and not one of them were trying. On woman is 46yrs old said she couldnt get pregnant anymore, one is in here early 20s and isnt ready for a baby and is devistated that she is pregnant. The other one says she never wanted children but her boyfriend wants the baby. This all has me very upset. What is wrong with me? And why can my DH not understand. He tells me that I already have 3 grown children let it go. I CAN'T . I need another child in my life. I don't know what to do with myself. And no one I know understands. What is worse is my DH will not adopt or go for any assistive help. I makes me want to die. This is more tourture then I can bare. I keep very busy so I don't think about it but even while I am so busy I can't make my mind stop thinking about it. It is like I am suffering from OCD with this.How do I make it stop. Is there anyone else out there that is having the same problem as me?????

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6 Comments on Depressed


supaflychick1982 - Thursday, 4 Jun
I'm terribly sorry you have to go through this. This is one of the hardest things to go through as woman and maybe your husband will come around in his own way or let your burden's go because it's not in your control something great may happen. Expressing your feelings is good to help relieve the stress.

Abigails Mommy - Tuesday, 2 Jun
oh hon I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. It too is very depressing for me when others are getting pregnant without trying, killing their children, abusing their children... you know exactly what I mean... I hope your husband comes to understand the importance to you and is more supportive. We're here for you dear. HUGS

nursemommy3 - Tuesday, 2 Jun
I'm so sorry that your having a hard time of this. I want you to know I will keep you in my prayers so that God may answer yours. Sending lots of hugs and love.

roosa - Tuesday, 2 Jun
I am so sorry you are struggling. In many ways I can relate to your struggles. There is nothing I want more than another pregnancy. I feel like less of a woman because it isn't happening, I feel broken - physically and mentally, and keep hoping I will be restored. Contrary to you though I have a super supportive husband who wants to make this happen and understands how important it is to me. I wish you had the same support and I am truly sorry you don't. Are you seeing a counselor? I wish I could fix it all for you. Sending you love and strength for this tough time. Karin

RainbowRach - Tuesday, 2 Jun
so sorry you are feeling this way. its so unfair when people around you are getting pregnant and you are so desperate to have a baby.

Sorry your DH is not getting how much this means for you. All I can suggest is you try talking to him again.

Have you thought about some talking therapy to go with your anti-depressants? Maybe talking it out with an impartial stranger will help?

((big hugs)) Thinking of you, Rach x

brandy1015 - Tuesday, 2 Jun
It does seem unfair, that people that doesn't want or deserve a baby can get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I don't know what is in store for me, but I know I will never give up hope. I will not quit trying! I am not going to let this crush me, or my relationship with my husband..

I am sorry ttc has brought you to your breaking point. No one truely knows, until they have wanted a baby more than life itself. I have good days and bad days. Take care of yourself, and I truely hope that things work out for you.