| femi | |
 | Age: 27 Country: U.S.A. Province/region: City: New York Partner: Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Please select Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation: Teacher |
| Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 302 days ago. Member since: 1502 days | |
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March 17, 2008
I knew it! I knew today was going to be a shitty day. Last night, I went to bed early, but I was plagued by weird dreams that, now, I vaguely remember. I woke up to the sounds of my cat's thudding feet across the living floor at 4 in the morning. She didn't let me sleep. She sounded like galloping horses and it maddened me. I heard my husband's loud laughter as he played XBox 360 with co-workers and his brother ... yes, at 4 in the morning.
I woke up and stomped to the living room. I chased the cat around until I asked my husband to help me catch her, and then I locked her in the bathroom, and tried to return to dreaming. I didn't want to return to those weird, vague dreams, but I did want to sleep. I felt odd and disgusting ... I didn't want to work on Monday and yet kept dreaming that I had woken up late and no one seemed to care. I got up 20 minutes earlier than usual, and showered, washed my hair, ate breakfast, and even watched the news; that's unusual for me. I walked out of the building earlier, and caught an earlier train, but it got stuck in traffic for 10 minutes, so, either way, I was right on time for work.
I didn't want to be there, and was glad that I had a prep only 40 minutes after being with the kids. During the prep, the assistant principal walked in to observe, and stayed until I got back to teaching. When I wasn't teaching what she expected, she walked out. She had the literacy coach check up on me, and then called me in for an 11am meeting. At the meeting, she essentially scolded me in a sugar-coated way for not having appropriate lessons, for not planning my flow of the day according to school guidelines, and vowed to observe me tomorrow and, perhaps, forever more.
She called me a smart girl because, perhaps, she thought it would motivate me, but all her speech did was enlighten me to reality: I don't enjoy teaching and I won't be returning next school year. I want to make it past the next 65 school days and leave peacefully, but leave forever and ever, amen. The stress that people bring is incredible. Do you know how many teachers at schools don't smile? Do you know how many teachers at schools work 24/7 .... literally? If you're not lesson planning, you're teaching. If you're not teaching, you're in a meeting. If you're not in a meeting, you're talking to parents. If you're not talking to parents, you're home analyzing the day's lesson plans and data. And, if you're not doing that and you're trying to get some sleep, you're dreaming about your fucking students.
It's truly beyond me that a job can consume every facet of your life, pay you so little, and then still make you feel like you're not doing your job 7-8 months into the job!
I need to stick it through for my baby ... that's all. I need to make it for him/her ... I need to make it through these 65 days and then, by completing the first year, I can get my $4000 stipend from Americorps, my summer payments, and go and peacefully have my baby!
Comments on Shit Hit the Fan
| 02-4-2008 - Shit Hit the Fan |  My mood while writing this blog:Stupid |
March 17, 2008
I knew it! I knew today was going to be a shitty day. Last night, I went to bed early, but I was plagued by weird dreams that, now, I vaguely remember. I woke up to the sounds of my cat's thudding feet across the living floor at 4 in the morning. She didn't let me sleep. She sounded like galloping horses and it maddened me. I heard my husband's loud laughter as he played XBox 360 with co-workers and his brother ... yes, at 4 in the morning.
I woke up and stomped to the living room. I chased the cat around until I asked my husband to help me catch her, and then I locked her in the bathroom, and tried to return to dreaming. I didn't want to return to those weird, vague dreams, but I did want to sleep. I felt odd and disgusting ... I didn't want to work on Monday and yet kept dreaming that I had woken up late and no one seemed to care. I got up 20 minutes earlier than usual, and showered, washed my hair, ate breakfast, and even watched the news; that's unusual for me. I walked out of the building earlier, and caught an earlier train, but it got stuck in traffic for 10 minutes, so, either way, I was right on time for work.
I didn't want to be there, and was glad that I had a prep only 40 minutes after being with the kids. During the prep, the assistant principal walked in to observe, and stayed until I got back to teaching. When I wasn't teaching what she expected, she walked out. She had the literacy coach check up on me, and then called me in for an 11am meeting. At the meeting, she essentially scolded me in a sugar-coated way for not having appropriate lessons, for not planning my flow of the day according to school guidelines, and vowed to observe me tomorrow and, perhaps, forever more.
She called me a smart girl because, perhaps, she thought it would motivate me, but all her speech did was enlighten me to reality: I don't enjoy teaching and I won't be returning next school year. I want to make it past the next 65 school days and leave peacefully, but leave forever and ever, amen. The stress that people bring is incredible. Do you know how many teachers at schools don't smile? Do you know how many teachers at schools work 24/7 .... literally? If you're not lesson planning, you're teaching. If you're not teaching, you're in a meeting. If you're not in a meeting, you're talking to parents. If you're not talking to parents, you're home analyzing the day's lesson plans and data. And, if you're not doing that and you're trying to get some sleep, you're dreaming about your fucking students.
It's truly beyond me that a job can consume every facet of your life, pay you so little, and then still make you feel like you're not doing your job 7-8 months into the job!
I need to stick it through for my baby ... that's all. I need to make it for him/her ... I need to make it through these 65 days and then, by completing the first year, I can get my $4000 stipend from Americorps, my summer payments, and go and peacefully have my baby!
Comments on Shit Hit the Fan
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