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18-4-2008 - When I Get There

My mood while writing this blog: Blah

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Since finding out about our baby, I have signed up to receive email newsletters from various mother or pregnancy websites. I also receive Baby Talk Magazine. Yesterday, my midwife gave me a welcome goodie-bag that had samples and it included, of course, more magazines with more information. And did I mention that I have 4-5 pregnancy books? So, I'm well-informed and every time I open up a magazine or email newsletter or book I read a similar catchy title: "What Nobody Told Me About ...." The end of that includes things like breastfeeding, pain in childbirth, sleep deprivation ... over and over and over again. I'm wondering if I'm on overload on this type of information or if it keeps hitting me upside the head because I just don't get it yet ... or, maybe, I'll only get it when I get there. Here are some things I, according to all these similar, repetitive articles, I should be aware of beforehand:

1. I will be so sleep-deprived that I will forget my child's name.
2. Childbirth will be so painful that I'll wonder why I ever fell for the mind-over-matter methods like Lamaze or Hypnobirthing or, um, relaxation.
3. Getting my little girl out will take so long that I'm going to be too exhausted to even look at her.
4. My due date means absolutely nothing (just tell people the month(s) you're due, such as: I'm due August, instead of August 18, etc.)
5. The onset of labor or complications is so unpredictable that I could be planning a home birth and end up needing a rush C-Section after my 36th week prenatal appointment.
6. I am going to shit on someone or something when I push.
7. My moans and groans during labor may cause my neighbors to call the police.
8. I am going to cry for days after childbirth and feel like a crappy mother and human being.
9. When Lia's head crowns, it's going to feel like someone is ripping me in half with a blow-torch.
10. After birth, I'm going to bleed to the point of thinking that I'm hemorrhaging. Oh, and I'm going to pass blod clots the size of lemons.
11. The first six weeks after birth is Boot Camp.

There are many more, some true: I've had more heartburn, but still nothing extreme, I've had a little constipation there, but my IBS keeps it at bay, and my skin is dry and my rosacea is acting up on my face, but, in the end, these things are minimal. Perhaps, I am one of the lucky few having a good pregnancy.

I mean, sure, the above list is a bit exaggerated, but part of me can't help looking at it that way sometimes. Though, in the end, I become giddy with excitement and can't wait to meet my daughter! I guess I will always be the woman from the following quote in May 2008's New Talk Magazine, Spring-Summer 2006:

"Many women are used to controlling everything in their lives ... then they go into labor and are surprised to find that they've got about as much control over the process, and the pain, as a rafter has in the whitewater." (pg. 58)

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