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18-4-2008 - So, what are my expectations?

My mood while writing this blog: Thinking thoughts

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You see that smiley face? My expectation is that a sexy nurse is going walk in and shoot me up with some of her special, secret love.

Hehehehehe.

Ok, onward with the seriousness. So, my last post discussed the fears thrown at pregnant women so that they enter childbirth shaking. Sure, that's not what my post said verbatim, but that's the gist of it. That said, I thought it'd be nice to explore my expectations.

My only real expectation is present because I continually see it in my dreams and daydreams: I am giving birth to Lia while squatting on my living room floor near the couches. It's dim, and my husband is on the couch watching in awe as my doula holds me up and the midwife waits for Lia's grand entrance into the world.

Now, I said that this is my only expectation, which means that I'm painting it as a little, itty-bitty expectation because I'm not set on the due date, the day, the time, or the pain. But, in essence, it's rather restricting and it's an example of how I think things can be controlled. My expectation dictates my position, the location of childbirth, the positions of my support people, and the atmosphere of the room.

I've tried to keep the whole "Things No One Ever Tells You" thing in mind. This is why I can't imagine how she'll look, or behave. I can't imagine if she'll be quiet or have colic problems. I can, however, imagine myself kissing her and hugging her, breastfeeding her and loving her immediately following birth. I can imagine myself cooing her as I rest for a day or two in bed and limit visitors and phone calls. I can imagine myself sticking to cloth diapering, and breastfeeding.

The only thing I can't imagine is whether our dog will be here or not. :o)

So, those damn "No One Ever Tells You" articles and lists can kiss my ass because negativity and fear only brews negativity and fear.

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