14-5-2009 - To Teach or Be a SAHM?

My mood while writing this blog: Confused

A friend recently made a good, valid point: what happens if the recession gets so bad that I can't return to teaching after I'm done being a stay at home mom? What if I lose that security and can't get it back until the economy gets back on its feet? Also, insurance isn't getting easier to come by now that the economy is so bad. I'm worried that I'll lose my security and financial stability for a very long time. I want to be home with my daughter, and I want to be able to teach her myself and spend time bonding with her. I hate the thought that, soon, she'll be able to say, "Don't leave me, Mommy," when I drop her off at the sitter's place. It hurts me now and she's nowhere near formulating sentences! But, on the flip side, I want to provide for her, give her a sense of security and food in her belly and a doctor whenever she needs one ... and, at the end of the day, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I enjoy my students for the unique individuals that they are. Part of me wants to know if the third year of teaching will be any better, especially considering the second year was much better than the first. Also, my pay would go up and I wouldn't be taking college classes anymore. Can I really walk away from teaching wondering what could have been? And, to top it off, a friend/colleague at the school is joining us this building (she normally teaches her kids in our other building). It'd be great to have her so close since we have so much in common and could now collaborate (we both teach Bilingual classes). There's so much on my mind and it's all swirling around in my head. I can't make sense of it all just yet. I may just have to wait until July, near the end of it, before I can truly decide whether anyone can stick a fork in me.