25-10-2008 - long overdue update- hospital bedrest

My mood while writing this blog: hopeful

Ok so its been a while since I've updated. So I'm going to start from where my last update left off. I was put on pretty strict bedrest after my emergency cerlage (only bathroom and quick shower breaks). I went to the specialist to check the status of the cerclage about a week and a half after the procedure. All looked pretty good - my cervix was at 2 and some cm and funneling was there but didn't look too bad. So that was a relief. I was having some discharge but was checked and given antibiotics just to make sure. So the doc set me an appointment 3 weeks later (I'm kinda worrysome so I was disapointed in the long wait - if I could I would have an ultrasound machine in my home and probably be checking daily lol). Anyway, went back and lo and behold my cervix was down to 1.5 cm and funneling looking somewhat worse =( ugh!! I had also been paranoid about slowly leaking my fluids - but they didn't seem concerned as my fluids measured good on the ultrasound. So they said just keep the strict bedrest and come back in a week. So stressing out for a week, I was praying pretty hard. On top of that I was having some contractions - very spread out and not excruciating so they just told me to monitor them and if they become more frequent or intense call back. I go back to my appointment and sure enough my cervix had shortened some more and funneling looked worse. So that was this Monday, I had an appointment with my regular OB on Friday (yesterday) and the plan was to go to that visit and then get admitted to the hospital. I was a nervous wreck on Thursday night-didn't sleep at all! I have such mixed feelings about being admitted. On one had I am going to hate to not be at home and don't know how I'm going to handle it, but on the other hand, it is like a little relief mentally to know that I will be right there for treatment if God forbid something was to happen.

So I got admitted yesterday and of course was nervous but a little relieved because they have the contraction and fetal monitors and they have given me my dose of steroids for her lungs in case she is born soon. They also started me on magnesium something to quiet down the uterus and I'm still going to get the 17P shot once a week. I was terrified yesterday though when the NICU doctors came in to talk to me! I really appreciated their directness and honest account of what would happen if I delivered now or anytime soon. I was just sooo scared I guess because its like a reality check that I am at a real critical point right now as she has a 50-60% chance of survival but being born this early is such a scary thing due to complications, mortality rate, major and minor disability rates and so on and so on. But the doctors were great and attentive and actually sat down for the conversation and didn't seemed rushed to get out of my room. So I'm on my second day here. I'm doing ok so far. My family has been here for a few days and just left =( and my boyfriend stayed most of the days and the night with me and will probably be here again tonight bless his heart! So I'm trying to stay positive as much as possible and pray that she stays in for a while longer so she has a greater chance at a healty life! I love her so much!!!

Oh one thing that has been annoying me is that in the records that the specialist has and the hospital I'm only 24w1d right now and by my LMP I am a week more - 25w today (which is what she measures). I actually have seen three due dates!! One is Feb 7th, one is Feb 10th and the one they have here is Feb 13th. I don't know why it bothers me so much. My doc just said they were going to keep the due date of 2/13 to keep consistency with the paperwork. I know it shouldn't be such a big deal but with every day counting from this point on I guess I let the numbers get to me!! When the docs came in this morning and said oh your 24 weeks yesterday I just wanted to yell NO I'M 25 WEEKS TODAY! Anyway, gotta calm down about that issue lol.

So ladies I definately could still use the prayers and postive thoughts you have been sending my way and I sure will keep up with mine to you all!! I hope eveyones babies are healthy and the TTC journeys are blessed!