16-12-2008 - 32 weeks and going home

My mood while writing this blog: excited, hopeful, a little nervous, etc. etc.

So I am 32 weeks today!! yay!! I am sooo excited to reach this milestone. I feel like it's one of our "everyday miracles" - that's what I call them anyway! =) It seems like quite a long journey making it to this point. I have been in the hospital now for 7 weeks and 4 days and on bedrest for a total of 13 weeks and 1 day. wow. It seems like forever but then again in the whole scheme of life it is but only a little blip of time. And all worth it!!!

So my body is soooo physically weak it is unbelievable!! I didn't know a person could get this weak. And I have always had a good amount of muscle mass as I have played sports and worked out throughout my life. Now I have like 0%. It is sooo weird for me to walk a few feet to take a shower and by the time I get back to the bed be out of breath. The other day I was standing up for a few minutes looking for something and my legs started shaking!! big wake up call as to how much my body has changed!! I can't even barely hold up my own body weight without a strain. The docs said they are going to refer me for some physical therapy after I deliver to try to get some of that strength and muscle mass back. Good thing baby has a nice big and strong daddy to help out while I regain any sense of normalcy with my body!! =)

I was having such a hard time in this hospital for the last couple of weeks. I think it was the lack of sleep. Not only is it just hard enough being in the third trimester trying to sleep (almost impossible due to being uncomfortable and needing the bathroom every few hours) but here they would be doing vitals, weight checks, and fasting blood sugar testing at between 2 and 6 in the morning (depending on the nurse - the nurses that knew me well would not bother me in the night til 6 am but any "new" ones would stick to the orders and be doing these things at the wee hours in the morning!!) I mean, I know they are just doing their job but dang it was getting to be tooo much for me. So I was getting grouchy, irritable, exhausted, and just overall not feeling "good". So I talked to the docs and they changed the order so as I was not to be bothered til 8:30 am. It was such a great help - those extra couple of hours of uninterrupted sleep. So I told my mom about the new changes and she joking said "watch you get a couple of days of rest now and then they send you home" ha ha real funny right?? But what do you know.....

I'm going home today!!!! I didn't think I was going to go home until after I delivered. It was a shock to me. Especially because they pulled this on my last time where they were going to send me home and then after the results of the exam it was a no-go. I have to admit I am a bit nervous to go home after all this time here and the security of having the docs come everyday to check in, the nurses being always available, and all the necessary "tools" here in case something were to happen. But I am sooo glad I will be at home for the holidays!! I just have to maintain my gestational diabetes at home with diet and insulin. I gave myself my first insulin shot today to practice for home and it was some experience. I HATE needles, so much that before I got pregnant I would faint just looking at them - literally faint!!! But I guess going through this experience, there is nothing I can't conquer including needles!! ha ha. So what's making me feel a little better also is that the doc checked my cervix today and although my cervical length is about 1cm, the stitch is still holding strong, my cervix is posterior (from what the doc explained this is a good thing) and my cervix is nice and thick still and closed. So I'm just going home on my same meds and routine that I have had here: prenatal vitamin, magnesium gluconate (sp??) 3x a day, insulin before breakfast lunch and dinner and before bed, blood sugar checks an hour after every meal, perinate doc visits 2x a week (one for diabetes monitoring and biophysicals and one for biophysicals) and regular ob visits once a week and weekly 17p shots.

The biophysical today showed that she is doing just fine like always. The dopplers look good, her practice breathing is good, her movement is good, etc. etc. BUT she is still breach and in the SAME position!! She is stubborn and like that position I guess. If she doesn't change her mind and start towards the head down position, looks like we are going to be having a c-section. And that is a whole other story because I have never had a stitch in my life and the nurses were explaining the process and WOW!! but then again I have never been in the hospital before my pregnancies and I just look at this as motherhood is teaching me and having me experience things in life that I never thought I'd be able to do. And I'm sure there is going to be LOTS more of that when she comes along!!! =) guess I'm ready!! Oh and I get a measurement u/s next Tuesday so we can see how big she is and about how much she weighs!! I'm excited for that.

Daddy is soo excited for me to go home also. As soon as he found out, he was here packing stuff up!! haha. We have so much stuff here its going to take him three trips to get everything out of here!! I miss my own bed, my own bathroom, being able to open the window and smell some fresh air, and hear "normal" sounds of everyday life outside, just being home with my love!! So I'm just waiting for all the discharge stuff to be done.

So, we still haven't decided on a first name yet. We agreed that he could pick out her middle name and he picked a Hawiian name Okelani - it means "from heaven" or "rose from heaven" something like that. So looks like he's set on that. It is waaaay different than what I would of picked but if he likes it that's fine. I get to pick her first name (but of course I'm going to ask him if he likes it also). We got a few things for her like a bassinet, a swing, a changing table and a few people have gotten her a few little outfits. And we only got these things because they were free or people were selling them REALLY cheap so I couldn't resist! So when I get home and see these things it's going to make it all a little more real to me! We are going to have a baby to bring home this time - God willing. oh I'm soo excited and I love her soooo much. I can't wait to see her and hold her and love her and spoil her and and and .... ha ha ha. I'm anxious but then again, I hope we can make it some more weeks-like 7 or 8 weeks!! =)

I don't have internet at my apartment at the moment so it may be a few days before we get it connected. I just wanted to update while I still had the free wireless connection at the hospital!! haha. I hope everyone is doing well - all the TTC mommies and daddies wishing you some BFPs real soon, all the expecting hope you are having healthy and happy pregnancies, all the bedrest and high riskers I pray you stay strong and everything turns out ok and all the mommies and daddies that have experienced a loss I pray for your healing process. Heaven knows we all need strength during this time no matter where we are at in our journeys!!!

Thats great sweetie!........I am so happy for you and your blesssing! you will be holding her in your arms soon!.................
keeping you in my thoughts and prayers
Godbless you and your blessingxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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