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09-3-2009 - Life Changing NEWS

My mood while writing this blog: SHOCKED!!!!

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Hello Ladies,

Most of you know that this pregnancy has been full of surprises one after another, so nothing really shock me anymore I just go with the flow and wait for the next DRASTIC thing to happen, well today the icing was put on my cake. My boyfriend took Friday and today off and didn't really tell me why, well on Friday he took me car shopping since I wrecked my truck and JUST now getting a new car since I milk the insurance company for a rental. Well today he text me and ask me "How much do I Love him?" I replied back and said " You're my world so whatever that constitute" he said well your Love for me is going to be tested today when I get home with some NEWS, I was like "oh SHIT!!!" THE WHOLE TIME LADIES YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING "I was like he's been CHEATING" so I tried my best to hold my composure until he came home. Well ladies the NEWS is he was offered a job in Washington DC, the offering salary is SUBSTANTIALLY more than he makes now, well lets put it like this his new salary will be more than his current salary and my current salary put together. He told me if I move with him I wouldn't have to work for the first two years on Kai's life. There are two things that have me scared, for one the move will be the first week of April ( I will have to find another doctor at 6 months) also WE'RE NOT MARRIED!!!! I'm a teacher so I will always have a job but I just dont want to move to a state where I know NO ONE and he act a fool (my mother always tell me I always look at the negative side of everything) but hey a girl have to think for herself.

Ladies what would you do??? Your comments and thoughts will be SO APPRECIATED!

Xoxo
Kia

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18 Comments on Life Changing NEWS


MOMATAVIA23 - Friday, 13 Mar
WOW THAT IS A BIG DECISION BUT I SAY IF U HAVE NO DOUBTS ABOUT U 2 AND THAT IS WHERE YOUR HEART IS I SAY GO FOR IT AND GOD BLESS U 2

1Byfaith - Wednesday, 11 Mar
Pray about it.......I would say that if he expects you to make such a huge decision, then he should be ready to make that HUGE committment (marriage). It is a big concern if your initial reaction was that you thought he was cheating so he must have given you a reason to think that way. I remember not too long ago you were saying that he thought you got pregnant on purpose and at some point he changed his mind. Maybe there are some deeper issues that should be handled first but only you can truly be the judge of that. You have to remember that you are not looking out just for yourself anymore you have Kai to think about. If things don't work out you wont be the only one suffering from it. Pray about it and see what God says. If it is Gods will you will live happy as husband and wife and if that is not his will He can still make a way for you to stay at home with Kai. He did it for me!!!

gwendalyne - Wednesday, 11 Mar
Hey girl...I would def pray about it and bring up marriage to him, if you are going to make that kind of commitment then you need to know how he feels and where this is going. If he wants you to up and move to another state and live with him, why not marry?

msray88 - Tuesday, 10 Mar
Wow dats great news...lol..i kinda feel where u commin from..but i believe everything will work out fine.

prettyjojo - Tuesday, 10 Mar
I would stay until after the baby is born. ONce you and the baby are settled and healed up..then if the relationship is where you want it then move. I teach in Maryland and I thnik we havea good school system!!! There is some positvies in this situation. First I would pray to God before making any descisions!!!

beantine00 - Tuesday, 10 Mar
What about waiting until Kai is born and then moving. It will be hard leaving your doctor, but will also be hard living without your man. You are right, you will always have a job and no one can care for you child better than you.

marie1j - Tuesday, 10 Mar
Well let me tell you I live not too far from DC and it would not be a problem meeting new people especially you'll get to stay home with Kai. So you would be able to go discover the District and the surrounding suburbs and there a lot of different mommie and me classes as well as different opportunity to have play dates. Then when you are ready, teachers are especially needed within DC as well as the surrounding suburbs so it would not be hard to get a teaching job that you'll love. I know a lot of people who are teachers throughout the Washington/Baltimore Metro area. Sorry I am not in DC so I couldn't refer you to a doctor but I could ask a couple people I know who gave birth within the DC area who they're doctors were but it would be a lot easier to know where you would be living to get a better grasp on referring you a doctor.

chocolate mami - Tuesday, 10 Mar
It will be strange to move...but you only have one life to live...I say try it out..., Teachers are needed all over the country...so if you didn't like it you could go back...I believe you'll meet great new people and should go

Legacy of the Trinity - Tuesday, 10 Mar
I just saw that your already engaged in your info at the top! I would definitely go then! I should have known all my facts before I started writing a book!

Legacy of the Trinity - Tuesday, 10 Mar
I would be thinking the same as you. Marriage is definitely a serious issue here, because this is a huge step and commitment for you to make. I would bring it up to him and let him know your thoughts about making such a big decision with your life. It sounds like an amazing offer, but there is always a "what if" The what if doesn't matter when your married because you deal with things together :) Have you talked about getting married before? Just have a subtle conversation about it. Maybe he already has a ring and we can be optimistic that his next question will be for your hand in marriage :)

RainbowRach - Tuesday, 10 Mar
hmmm its a difficult one. Personally, I would go. As you are able to stay at home with Kai, you will have time to attend baby groups and get to know people in the local area for support. You may get a little lonely, but you are a strong woman and you will get through. Good luck with your decision. I hope you get a married soon!

kelly5150rn - Monday, 9 Mar
i would stay here until the baby is born. And then go girl! Start fresh & new. The lord makes everything happen for a reason....

wonna33 - Monday, 9 Mar
Wow Girl!!! That's shocking! but i have to agree with dinahmite, I think you definetly should go, but you should wait until Kai is born, because it would be alot less stressful trying to find a new doctor that you like and that you would be comfortable with, Plus this is your first, and i know you want your fam to be able to be around when you have Kai. It will be alot easier for you to ease into the new role of being a mother surrounded by family rather then being in a new strange place alone! Awwweeee! Im So happy for you guys! This new move is going to help you guys start your own foundation as a family forreal! Just make sure u Pray about it too girl! Love ya!

dinahmite425 - Monday, 9 Mar
if you do go, i do see that it is makes sense to tell him that you would like to have the baby in GA so u dont have to start over... expecially if your family is there maybe you can move like when the baby is 1 month so it does sounds good to stay here and have you family help you with the bAby and SHORTLY AFTER THE birth go to dc that might be easier than jsut leaving so suddenly then another thing is you will still be able to turn in your leave at work for maternity leave and dont tell them your moving let 6 months go by and if you see problems then go back to work in Ga if its grea t tell your job you suddenly have to move!!

shanidm - Monday, 9 Mar
Go! If you love him and hopefully you both have intensions of getting married, go for it. Many women, especially us black women are not EVER given the opporunity to NOT work and focus on motherhood. If you can, go for it. If things dont work, you can alaways find a teaching job right, and you have your family. GO! Good luck!!

dinahmite425 - Monday, 9 Mar
i will GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! you already have your career so its different if you guys dont work out in the future u can always move back to were ever your from and be dependent, if i did not have a career then i probably woundt go but you have a solid career so no worries... i wish it was me!!!! so go and be a good teacher in DC have fun, i live here in ATL like you and im from the city los angeles so when i went to DC i thought it was cool its close to ny it has a lot of afro americans you can live in Virgina or Maryland i would go life is short, im willing to relocate to anywhere but the south im really done with the racist slow south so i would be happy to trade places with you, there is alot of culture there and even though we all want are family close you have to take a chance and build on your own family... to be honest i moved from Los angeles to Atlanta 4 years ago... not for a man but i just wanted to move... i met my husband 5 months after i moved boughtt a house 1 year after i moved so atlanta has been good to me but i truly miss my family so dearly i was in a depression at one time... so i dont know how close your family is but the only down fall is probably your family... im sure if you go he will see how much you love him and i see wedding bells in the future>>>>

baileymama - Monday, 9 Mar
Well, you gotta go with your heart! It sounds like he is a good man, so try to think of the positive, believe me i am like you always thinkin negative. If he is willing to take care of you, take that opportunity to be a stay at home mom for awhile. I wished that I could for at least one of my kids. Good luck! Oh, and a tip on finding a new dr. call the local hospitals and ask for the labor and delivery dept. then ask some of the nurses who is a good dr. to go too. they will always give a good recommendation, coming from a nurse myself! =)

JazzysLittleBlessing - Monday, 9 Mar
I am glad that you are doing okay. Honestly, you have valid points and I do not blame you for being skeptical. However, like you said, you are a teacher and you will always have a job. So worse case scenario, you will h ave to move back to GA. Best case scenario, life is much easier for you and your son and you get to spend some of the most crucial developmental years of his life right at home with him. Think about it, evaluate your choices, evaluate your love, take into consideration these things: 1. The word of God, 2. The love you share and future aspirations with this man, 3. Common sense. I am confident these will lead you to a decision that you can live with. Good luck!