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03-9-2008 - Taking my ex back to court

My mood while writing this blog: frustrated

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Ok so me and my older son's father have been divorced for 10 yrs. Its was really rocky for the first few years after the divorce but we finally started getting along for my child's sake. Everything was great for a while, my ex was becoming a really great father. He would always call him and always wanted what was best for him. Then in 2005 he remarried to a woman that had 3 children of her own that was close to my son's age. Her & I got along great, we were closer then my ex would like. We became really good friends. Then after a yr or so things started to slowly change. My ex became more involved with his step children. He stopped calling my son completely, stopped getting him on his birthdays and started to become more abusive to my child. Then last year when my child was 8 is what broke the camel's back. His older step child who is a beast, had my child wear a dirt bike helmet, and got a BB Gun and started to shoot him in the head. He missed and one of the bullets missed and hit him right in the heart. Infact a yr and a half later he still has a scar on his chest where his heart is located. This happened on a saturday and I never found out till late sunday evening when he came home. I called my ex's wife and asked what happened, how come I was never told, and what did she do in return for him injuring my child. She started screaming, cussing, and yelling and said that she didnt even know that he was shot and accused my child of making it up. Im like WTF>> he's got a freakin scar on his chest where the bullet laid. well i called DFCS and they closed the case b/c he only visits him that there was nothing that they can do b/c it was court ordered. The proper term from DFCS was "diversion" is what they called it BUT if it happened at my house that they would REMOVE him from my home.Then now here a year later, my child has let me know that his dad has been beating him. One thing that I havent mentioned is that my child is 10, and he is severe learning disabled. He has a problem remembering things. Sometimes he can remember things that happened, and 8 months later he talks like it just happened the day before. Well he let me know his dad was beating him and the reason why he never told me before is b/c his dad told him that if I ever kept him from going to his dad's that he would have me locked up and put in prison for a very long time. He told my son if i knew about his spanking him that i might try to keep him away and then he would have it to where my child would never see me again. So now that I told him that he didnt have ANYTHING to worry about and that mommy wasnt going anywhere, he's been spilling the beans. He's told me that his dad's been beating him with a belt, switches, and even his fist. He also informed me that when the 2 step brothers are fighting and he's in another room that all 3 of them has gotten beat. A lot of times when one does something wrong that all of them get beat for it to make sure that he gotten the right one. Well now his dr has been investigating and he opened a case with DFCS. He's evaluated my child and has wrote an affadavit in our defense that my child is being abused by his father. Also my son has ADD and his father REFUSES to give him his medication and the dr's also wrote a report saying that him not having his meds may have caused my child to act up to anger his father into beating him. I know this is a long blog but i need everyone's prayers that everything will be just fine and go our way when we go into court tomorrow which also happens to be my birthday. I pray that he doesnt stress me out b/c in my condition I do not need it. I lost a baby in april, and I do not need to lose another. Oh and after my child told his father that his mommy was having a baby. My ex told him that he hoped it was born with a hole in its head. My child was so upset when his daddy made that remark. What makes matters worse is in the court papers it says that each party is allowed to have telephone contact with the child when he's with the other parent. He goes for 2 weeks at a time to visit his dad in the summer. After I found out about the abuse I tried to talk to him to make sure that he was ok, and he REFUSED to let me talk to him which later my son said that his dad wouldnt allow him to call me b/c when he's at his house that was his time. I understand completely but my child is gone from me for 2 weeks and i need to be assured that he is ok especially after him telling me that he's being abused. So I called the police to have them check on him. The sheriff (his family owns the town practically) called me and said that he would arrest me if i try to call again and talk to my child. I pleaded with the officer, I said look thats fine i wont bother him but just please tell me is he ok. He said it wasnt my concern and to not call back. Of course after I got my lawyer involved the cop changed his tune. Im so scared how its going to go, I got me a good lawyer and we're fighting for supervised visitation. I really do want him to be involved with his dad, i just need to know that he is going to stop hurting him and give him medication. Which also I found out that his dad has been giving him some kind of pill to put him to sleep every night and when I asked him what it was, his wife told me it was none of my business. We've done 2 diff drug tests but dr says its hard to find it when they dont know what to look for. My son is just now starting to be able to read pre-k (like I said he's learning disabled) so he didnt understand what he was taking. and one time my child asked his dad what was he giving him and he told him to shut his mouth and take what he tells him to take. we need all the prayers we can get on this, please help!

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6 Comments on Taking my ex back to court


supaflychick1982 - Thursday, 4 Sep
OMG!! I am 26 and our lives seem parallel. I am definitely praying for you and your family but this is just showing me once more how the court systems can fail caring parents and families. I always urge people to use the courts as a last resort because they can cause more harm than justice. My advice is I would be arrested before I let my child go into that house again because I can't live with myself not knowing what may come next. That's what I did with my daughter and my attorney let me know I would not be arrested b/c the other party needs to file a petition saying that I'm violating the visitation order...Definitely in my prayers and you are not alone.

bbcoop - Thursday, 4 Sep
Im so sorry to hear your story, I will pray for you daily!

stlmomof3 - Thursday, 4 Sep
Sorry to hear that you are going thru such a hard time. You and your son are in my thoughts are prayers. Take care and stay strong. ~~HUGS~~

trinity - Thursday, 4 Sep
i will keep your family in my prayers.

luckywhite - Thursday, 4 Sep
OMG what a monster... thats abuse - i hope all your husbands rights to visitation are taken away and you manage to save your son..

i cannot beleive what a bastard that man is. you can bet if he finds it so easy to lift his hand to those children that other lady must get her fair share as well i wouldnt stand by a man that hit my child i really hope it all works out..
xxxxxxxx

LizDW - Thursday, 4 Sep
Wow, I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. I will definately be praying for you, your family and your son.