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25-9-2008 - my hormones are going crazy

My mood while writing this blog: sad & miserable

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This morning started out terrible. I was trying to get the boys ready for school and everything just seem to go down hill from there. It all started yesterday when I got into a heated argument at the vet w/ one of the nurses. Long story short she is really good friends with the person we got our new puppy from. Me and the girl I got the puppy from no longer get along b/c she kept taken advantage of me and owes me alot of money so I just called it quits with the friendship. Well the puppy I got from her was very very sick & full of hook worms and wasnt properly being taken of. Well I didnt think anyone at the vet would know where I got the puppy from or know the person that I got her from. So this nurse just start confronting my husband saying that puppy is exactly how old that jess says she is, and she took really care of that puppy and she takes really good care of all of her animals. WTF?!?! OK we got the pup's (pit bull) ears done monday and we were taking her in for a check up yesterday b/c her ears were itching. My husband calls me from there and tells me whats going on, I work right down the road so I go rushing there to see what the problem is.... As my husband is telling me whats going on, the nurse sticks her head out of the room and yells if you got something to me, come say it to my face. i turn around to see who this girl was and just who was she talking to. my DH says thats the girl, and im like; EXCUSE ME??? Honey i dont have anything to say to you but i got a lot to say to the dr, and she kept screaming. me still being confused said you know what, im not going to put up with this crap. i already paid for my dogs ears to be cropped so after they take the stitches out next week, i will just find another vet. she says good, go then, b/c we dont need someone like you here anyways. i look to my DH b/c im still trying to figure out what just took place. OK we go into the vet b/c my pups ears were itchy and all this happened. i never met this girl in my life. So I started getting really upset, i started crying, i started hyperventalating, i started shaking. i couldnt calm down. Im thinking to myself- how dare she? who is this girl that just screaming at me for no reason. my DH is trying to make me take deep breaths and the girl appears in our room with a smirk on her face and says honey you wont have my job either. by then, I lost it and i went after her, my DH holding me back: i couldnt remember anything except i wanted that girl. I wanted to hit her so bad. who was she to talk to me this way in front of everybody, other clients and nurses?? Why did no one stop her! so the doc comes in and im panting and not able to breathe. i tried to calm down, and i started to tell him what happened. Just maybe he is so old he didnt hear anything. NO- he tells me he doesnt want to hear anything about it, b/c he is just concerned about the dog!!!! IM LIKE WHAT THE HELL???? are you kidding me, i mean really, are you serious. I literally lost it. im serious I did. I said thats it, give me back my dog, give me their records, you will never ever ever see me again. the problem is he's the president or something over the office. my DH i dont remember but i think i left him just standing there. thankfully we were in 2 sep cars and i just took off. i had to get away b/c i knew if i didnt calm down it would hurt this baby. i go back to work and just sit in my car and cried. i couldnt believe this happened. i couldnt believe that a business would do me this way and allowed their employees to hurt someone like this. i never knew this girl, i never met her before, how could this happened. im such a nice person and i get along w/ EVERYONE and i was so stunned that someone could ever talk down to me and disrespect me like that in front of all those people. i couldnt even work for the rest of the day. my stomach started cramping and i just got sick all over. i know that your not suppose to let things get to you but i was in disbelief about the entire situation.

so now back to be miserable: maybe its the hormones or just being depressed. I wake up this morning to get kids ready for school, couldnt barely find them anything b/c i dont have all their winter clothes out and it was 50 something in south georgia. so i get them ready. My younger one just tried to be difficult with me. then it was time to go- NO KEYS. errr i just wanted to lose it, so i searched and searched and i finally find them. so i go outside and realize the pit bull ( i got from my sis till i can find him another home b/c she had to move) got out just like he did the 103 other times. so i had to put my mastiff back in the house so she wouldnt kill him. she likes to be in control and be the top dog at our house. i get the kids to school after putting the dumb dog on a leash knowing that would hold him since the cage wouldnt. i got back home and knew that i needed to get a shower before work and I just stood there in the shower crying. why is this happening to me? my house is a mess, i have no energy, i just want to sleep all the time, my bb are hurting so bad, my face & neck is breaking out all over due to the hormones, the argument yesterday, I just found out some bad news tuesday about my older son that has learning problems is actually diagnosed mildly mentally retarded (he's 10 and now is in the 3rd grade & cant really hardly even read and the stupid school wont help him and has him in a general ed class. joshua is leveled at kindergarden mind and their trying to have him do third grade work), Im having problems with my younger son b/c his new meds arent working (he has a anger mood disorder, and some kind of unspecified disorder- they dont know what it is, and one dr says its bipolor) he's constantly fighting me b/c his moods, im still fighting with my ex b/c he still thinks their isnt a problem with my older son, im getting sick of my job and mostly my boss. I just feel like im about to crack and I just want to get far away from here. It upset my DH and i dont blame him but i even went to as far as thinking it would've best if i didnt get pregnant. im hoping its the hormones. but im dealing w/ so much right now.... How much more can i handle? so im calming down, i had to take my mastiff to work b/c i would not let her in stay in the house if one of us werent there. we keep her outside when we leave but the dumb dog got out so i had to take her to work (thankfully im the only one here and im an office manager and the customers dont mind her one bit. i usually take her to work when it storms anyway b/c she's afraid of the weather. so i've also been bringing my pit bull puppy to work since monday when she got her ears cropped and having to wear a funnel. i wanted to keep an eye on her since they got done. so she likes to aggravate my mastiff. here she is 6.5 lbs and is 10 wks old. my mastiff is taller then a great dane and weighs 181 lbs. so she wont stop poking my mastiff in the face w/ her funnel so she has to sit in the back. so to make it even i keep letting them switch so no ones left out. question is when will this get better. this is my 3rd child, 4th pregnancy and i just dont remember all of these emotions. although last time i had a child was 7 yrs ago and maybe i dont remember. i wish i could hire a maid to come clean my house. im so depressed to do anything. luckily i have such a wonderful husband, he's been helping out w/ the chores and does the kitchen & laundry for me.i feel so helpless and it seems everything bad is happening at the same time

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2 Comments on my hormones are going crazy


fdstripled - Saturday, 27 Sep
I am so sorry you are going threw such difficulty and drama. I have an ADHD, and a child who has a deviate personality and suffers from dellusions.Also a stupid ex.So I understand your frustrations.
As for your son, they also have something equivalent to IDEA in NY but it is provides by the state in the schools and is a law for all children on medication for learning disabilities or mental issues To get this help. The schools get lazy because they don;t want to spare the resource for your child. In Ny they have to provide you child with his own "aid or helper" in each class so he may learn to his potential. I used this resource with my ADHD child who was " wild " in class and need constant redirection. They wanted to put him in special ed untill I found out about this program.Look into it for your state and use it to your advantage to see if there is some law linked to the schools..
By the way we don't mind your venting. Without it we would go crazy.Hang in there.

stlmomof3 - Thursday, 25 Sep
I am soo sorry you are having a hard time. I am having problems with hormones as well. I am crying for no reason, my face, neck and back are all broke out. That girl at the vets off needs her head bitten off. Screw her. You did the right thing by leaving the vets office and you are soo right to change vets. People like that dont deserve your hard earned cash.

Anyways- I hope I am not being intrusive, but the part of your blog about your son and his school spike my interested. I am majoring in education in MO. I know that Georgia has a law call IDEA. I know you are probably fimilar with it but just incase here is the link http://www.parenttoparentofga.org/roadmap/education/educationlawsidea.htm. Also, I would talk to the Georgia Department of Education. It is required by law for school to help students with disabilites and it just sounds like to me they (the school) are not doing that. I am only trying to help and hope I did not affend you. Stay strong and hope things get better for you. Keep me updated.