08-7-2008 - Week 16 - the News is out

My mood while writing this blog: relieved

Well I finally did it, I told all the relevant people in my life the big news. It feels like a great weight has finally been lifted. I ended up procrastinating on the matter for a good deal longer than I had ever planned to. So it went that on Saturday 05^th of July in somewhat of a daze I blurted out, rather than announced, my big news. My parents and I had been speaking of babies when I suddenly I heard myself saying ‘while we are on the subject of babies, I am pregnant’.

Yes once again my delicate, tactful manner of speaking was put to good use. No ‘Mum, Dad, brace yourselves’ for me instead just a string of hurried and barely comprehensible words ushered from my mouth. However, judging by the shocked faces around me I realised that they had indeed made sense of what I had just said.

My mother immediately started berating me and asking why I hadn’t been more careful and generally giving out in the usual manner of a mother who has just found out that her daughter is to become an unwed and somewhat young mother. My father on the other hand played the safest card he could. He remained silent, until the inevitable happened; mum noticed his lack of comments on the subject and dragged him into the conversation. Dad’s reply was a well thought out ‘I agree with you’ followed shortly by ‘I am going to bed’ (the safest way for him to stay out of the line of fire).

Mum, although upsets, was not shocked by my news. One thing I have always remarked about my mother is that she is a very quick-witted creature and few things manage to slip under her radar. Her initial reply was ‘I knew it, how far gone are you? 4 months?’ Well she had been spot on as usual.

So the conversation carried on in an expected fashion. Her giving out and throwing in her two cents worth and then every so often in the middle of giving out to me she would remember that I had done such and such a thing like flying to Belgium and enquire as to whether or not that had been safe in my condition, then once she had been relieved of her worry over the health of the baby she would return to giving out to me for getting pregnant.

Ahh! A good mother gives out to you out of love but instinctively you both know she will always be there for you (and now for my little one too).

Other than me and my partner being a little younger and a little less prepared than what would be considered an ideal situation I think that the two most upsetting aspects of the situation for her were that – 1) we told Chris’s parents ahead of mine and 2) that I had gone through the problem I had faced without her guidance. I think she would have liked to be there for me despite the fact that she would have been angry. But I also think she understands that I didn’t want to tell her about the baby until I knew it would be alright.

So with that adventure over I went to my sister and told her the news. Naturally she said I was an idiot. But besides that she was very supportive and told me not to worry about mum and that she will come around to the idea eventually (which I already knew but it was nice to hear it from my big sis).

So Gill and I had a pleasant day together of trying to pick names. My sister had her two children in Italy so she managed to dig out a book of Italian baby names (none of which were particularly nice). Though we did find one that had us laughing for hours – Edipo (which means swollen foot) unfortunately Chris wouldn’t agree to the name.

The other thing that Gillian and I did together was compare the Italian and Irish health care systems to each other. For a standard pregnancy in Ireland your first U/S is at 20 weeks. In Italy an u/s was used to see if Gillian was pregnant and she then received one every 4 week thereafter off her doctor as well as 3 from the hospital. All here u/s are far more detailed than mine. Bones were measured, the brain capacity was measured, everything. She was also tested for problems like spine bifida, downs, etc. before she was 13 weeks pregnant. I am not sure that you even get tested over here or not. And on top of all of that she was sent to a gynaecologist every 4 weeks for a full check up for all manner of things such as yeast infections to fundal height. I have had none of that done to date. The most I receive from my doctor is a urine test (and I changed doctors because the one I went to before that didn’t even do that much).

After a day spent with Gillian I returned home and Chris and me finally managed to pick out a boys name. We have settled on Jonathon Thomas Carroll. A name that I think will keep everyone happy while pleasing both Chris and me. Chris’s paternal grandfather is called Tommy and Chris also has a great uncle called Johnny so that name will please his dad. Chris’s other grandfather is called John Thomas so it will please him and my brother is called Gregory Jonathon so it will please him too. Also one of my all time favourite books is Jonathon Livingston Seagull so the name will always remind me of that. Hopefully everyone will be happy and depending who you ask you will be told that the child was named after one person or another when in truth the name was picked not in tribute to anyone but because it’s a name that both me and Chris like.

All is well that ends well.

So now that we have gotten another round of problems dealt with I am feeling very good about things. And now that the news is out it is starting to feel real. For the first time I realise that I am pregnant. I still don’t ‘feel’ pregnant but at least I am starting to believe it. Maybe when I start feeling flutters and kick it will feel more real to me. Anyway until then I am content with things.

09/07/2008 - new update to yesterdays blog. as i was coming home from work yesterday I felt movement for the first time. i had a strong flutter/kick. it wasn't strong enough to feel on the outside but there was no mistaking it for gas or anything like that. it was amazing. i smiled all the way home.

oh and on the matter of the name, Christopher's dad did not like the name Jonathon as he works with one who he thinks is an idiot. I have now decided to stop pandering to other peoples whims, in reality the only people who have to like the name are me and Chris. If I let them everyone else will take over this baby. I think Dave (Chris's father) wants to name the child himself or even have the child himself. he has already told me that there will be a big fight if we decide to move abroad - how serious he was i don't know.

All I do know is that I am getting sick and tired of people thinking that they have a right to my baby in some way. grrrrr!